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What's your favourite put down?

LittigatorLittigator Posts: 1,262
edited November 2008 in Commuting chat
Inspired by Honafanatic's "You're ace you are. I wish I was as ace as you!" genius

What's everyone else's favourite put down for driver idiots or any road users for that matter. No swearing allowed!
Roadie FCN: 3

Fixed FCN: 6
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  • Littigator wrote:
    Inspired by Honafanatic's "You're ace you are. I wish I was as ace as you!" genius

    What's everyone else's favourite put down for driver idiots or any road users for that matter. No swearing allowed!

    Well that's ruined almost all of mine...
  • daniel_bdaniel_b Posts: 8,773
    "I would love to continue this battle of wits, but I can see your unarmed"

    From a film, the title escapes me, could even be the Princess Bride.
    Felt F70 05 (Turbo)
    Marin Palisades Trail 91 and 06
    Scott CR1 SL 12
    Cannondale Synapse Adventure 15 & 16 Di2
    Scott Foil 18
  • Jen JJen J Posts: 1,054
    Daniel B wrote:
    "I would love to continue this battle of wits, but I can see your unarmed"

    From a film, the title escapes me, could even be the Princess Bride.

    Great fim :D

    Surely the only acceptable put down is a hefty scalping, be it bike/car/man/horse/dog (?) ;)
    Commuting: Giant Bowery 08
    Winter Hack: Triandrun Vento 3
    Madone

    It's all about me...
  • Jen JJen J Posts: 1,054
    I can only ever think of decent put downs after the event, so I'm sure once this thread has died a death, I'll think of loads...
    Commuting: Giant Bowery 08
    Winter Hack: Triandrun Vento 3
    Madone

    It's all about me...
  • Clever PunClever Pun Posts: 6,778
    your momma

    I don't really use it; it's an age old insult that still makes me giggle.
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • Clever Pun wrote:
    your momma

    I don't really use it; it's an age old insult that still makes me giggle.

    Except that the odd time my mates have used that, my reply is normally along the lines of;

    "Well, my mum's 64, you're 30, good result for her i'd say"
    <insert witty comment here>

    Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.
  • Daniel B wrote:
    "I would love to continue this battle of wits, but I can see your unarmed"

    From a film, the title escapes me, could even be the Princess Bride.

    I've not heard that one but I will use at my earliest opportunity.

    And seeing as I'm about to do battle in Lancaster City centre in about five minutes, i'd give it about 5 minutes 10 seconds before i get to use it.
    <insert witty comment here>

    Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.
  • FeltupFeltup Posts: 1,340
    I do keep meaning to carry some specsavers flyers.
    Short hairy legged roadie FCN 4 or 5 in my baggies.

    Felt F55 - 2007
    Specialized Singlecross - 2008
    Marin Rift Zone - 1998
    Peugeot Tourmalet - 1983 - taken more hits than Mohammed Ali
  • secretsamsecretsam Posts: 4,617
    Ugly and stupid, that's a killer combination.

    Then run like hell...

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • Jen JJen J Posts: 1,054
    'Suck my fat one you cheap dimestore hood'

    Ok, wouldn't exactly work for me...but I like it...
    Commuting: Giant Bowery 08
    Winter Hack: Triandrun Vento 3
    Madone

    It's all about me...
  • My favourite put-down I've heard, but never used. Off topic a bit!

    Woman: You're drunk!
    Churchill: And madam, you are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

    An oldie, I grant you, but it makes me smile every time...
  • secretsamsecretsam Posts: 4,617
    Jen J wrote:
    'Suck my fat one you cheap dimestore hood'

    Ok, wouldn't exactly work for me...but I like it...

    eerrrrrrr....doesn't that qualify as rudey sweary?

    Anyhoo, I also like doing the "blub blub blub" one where you sort of twang your bottom lip downwards like when you're entertaining a baby...visual gesticalatory indicators of displeasure really do it for me... :twisted:

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • My favourite put-down I've heard, but never used. Off topic a bit!

    Woman: You're drunk!
    Churchill: And madam, you are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

    An oldie, I grant you, but it makes me smile every time...

    Think that was Churchill...oooooo yesssssss
    <insert witty comment here>

    Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.
  • Jen JJen J Posts: 1,054
    secretsam wrote:
    Jen J wrote:
    'Suck my fat one you cheap dimestore hood'

    Ok, wouldn't exactly work for me...but I like it...

    eerrrrrrr....doesn't that qualify as rudey sweary?

    Anyhoo, I also like doing the "blub blub blub" one where you sort of twang your bottom lip downwards like when you're entertaining a baby...visual gesticalatory indicators of displeasure really do it for me... :twisted:

    Where's the swear word in that?
    Commuting: Giant Bowery 08
    Winter Hack: Triandrun Vento 3
    Madone

    It's all about me...
  • Jen J wrote:
    Ok, wouldn't exactly work for me...

    I require proof
    <insert witty comment here>

    Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.
  • cjcpcjcp Posts: 13,345
    FCN 2-4.

    "What happens when the hammer goes down, kids?"
    "It stays down, Daddy."
    "Exactly."
  • The greatest comeback to any insult, put down, piece of verbal abuse or suggestion that someone might be better than you:


    the_big_lebowski___jeff_bridges.jpg
    "Well that's just, like, your opinion, man."
  • fonty1978fonty1978 Posts: 101
    My personal favourite is usually to be used when the boom boom of music accompanies a souped up Vauxhall Nova, that actually only has a 1.0 litre engine.

    i have been heard to yell " I wish i were you" in my most ironic and condescending tone of voice that i can muster.

    :)
    Commuter Surosa Toledo S34 Audax
    Best Bike Merida Road Race 901-18

    In truth i love them both
  • <insert witty comment here>

    Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.
  • daniel_bdaniel_b Posts: 8,773
    I have often thought of saying 'I bet your mums really proud' but have yet to use it.

    Not really a put down though, just a statement of non fact.

    Dan
    Felt F70 05 (Turbo)
    Marin Palisades Trail 91 and 06
    Scott CR1 SL 12
    Cannondale Synapse Adventure 15 & 16 Di2
    Scott Foil 18
  • ceecee Posts: 4,553
    Someone had one on here a while back that I liked.....

    To female driver stopped on an ASL box......

    cyclist........taptap
    woman......Unwind....Yes
    cyclist........Did you notice that the box you are stopped on has a picture of a bike?
    woman......Yes....
    cyclist........Thats a car..
    woman......Yes....
    cyclist........Are you the Bike?

    I laughed at myself the other week when a taxi driver gave me a mouthful for being in the bus lane proclaiming that the lane was for buses taxis and cycles only...my response was ..well what am I? A spacehopper!
    Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.

    H.G. Wells.
  • Clever PunClever Pun Posts: 6,778
    edited October 2008
    Clever Pun wrote:
    your momma

    I don't really use it; it's an age old insult that still makes me giggle.

    Except that the odd time my mates have used that, my reply is normally along the lines of;

    "Well, my mum's 64, you're 30, good result for her i'd say"

    if he doesn't destroy you there and then he is a very nice boy who wont have taken your mums brown wings at all in any way... no sir
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • Clever PunClever Pun Posts: 6,778
    The above post was of course for comedy purposes... an example if you will

    I was not for one minute insinuating your friend had been to the bournville boulevard with any member of your immediate family
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • Clever Pun wrote:
    Clever Pun wrote:
    your momma

    I don't really use it; it's an age old insult that still makes me giggle.

    Except that the odd time my mates have used that, my reply is normally along the lines of;

    "Well, my mum's 64, you're 30, good result for her i'd say"

    he he doesn't destroy you there then he is a very nice boy who wont have taken your mums brown wings at all in any way... no sir

    At the age of 64 and being an Irish Catholic I doubt he'd be the first...
    <insert witty comment here>

    Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.
  • Clever Pun wrote:
    The above post was of course for comedy purposes... an example if you will

    I was not for one minute insinuating your friend had been to the bournville boulevard with any member of your immediate family


    :lol: If you're ever ooopp north give me a shout and we'll go for a (lots of) beer. You'd fit right in with my mates...

    :shock:

    When I say 'fit in with my mates' I mean as a collective social group, not fit in with my moth....o forget it.

    :wink:
    <insert witty comment here>

    Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.
  • tailwindhometailwindhome Posts: 15,911
    My ambition is to have an opportunity to use one of these classic Paul Newman lines from the film Nobody's Fool

    Bruce Willis:You know, Sully,you're the only guy I know still dumb enough to believe in luck.

    Paul Newman:I used to believe in brains and hard work till I met you

    and


    Bruce Willis :I would hope, by the time I'm your age, I'm a little smarter than that.

    Paul Newman:Can't hurt to hope. [pause] You sure are off to a slow start.
    Believe that a farther shore
    Is reachable from here.
    Believe in miracles
    And cures and healing wells
  • Clever PunClever Pun Posts: 6,778
    Clever Pun wrote:
    Clever Pun wrote:
    your momma

    I don't really use it; it's an age old insult that still makes me giggle.

    Except that the odd time my mates have used that, my reply is normally along the lines of;

    "Well, my mum's 64, you're 30, good result for her i'd say"

    he he doesn't destroy you there then he is a very nice boy who wont have taken your mums brown wings at all in any way... no sir

    At the age of 64 and being an Irish Catholic I doubt he'd be the first...

    I'm lost are we talking about your mum or dad now?

    :lol: can't help it... Where ooop norf as a matter of interest? I do make it up that way now and again.. *see's location* Ah
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • Clever Pun wrote:
    Clever Pun wrote:
    Clever Pun wrote:
    your momma

    I don't really use it; it's an age old insult that still makes me giggle.

    Except that the odd time my mates have used that, my reply is normally along the lines of;

    "Well, my mum's 64, you're 30, good result for her i'd say"

    he he doesn't destroy you there then he is a very nice boy who wont have taken your mums brown wings at all in any way... no sir

    At the age of 64 and being an Irish Catholic I doubt he'd be the first...

    I'm lost are we talking about your mum or dad now?

    :lol: can't help it... Where ooop norf as a matter of interest? I do make it up that way now and again.. *see's location* Ah

    Pop up anytime...I'll just make sure my mum is out of town. :wink:
    <insert witty comment here>

    Also, I have calculated my FCN as 12...although I have no idea what that actually means.
  • With a prefix of anything, eg 'shut yer puss' or 'calm doon' I will always add 'Irn Bru Baws'

    The person doesnt have to have ginger hair or indeed be a man. Its the confusion of the insult I like...
    Cannondale F500
    Peugeot Fixed Gear
    Specialized Hardrock
    Baordman Team Carbon
    Haro Freestyler Sport 1984
    Coming Soon...Canyon Nerve AM 7.0
  • When I had some lady stop to ask about my riding (this was about 10 years ago) I asked them: "If I throw a stick for you, would you go fetch it?"

    And to a chav who thought he'd be funny and stick his willy out the car window as he went passed me in a town, I shouted: "Is that it?" REALLY loudly.

    In a club a friend of mine stopped a woman who was just coming out the toilets, and had obviously spent a long time making herself look as beautiful as possible and told her: "I don't say this to many women, but that thong does nothing for you." Cue fireworks.

    What is a thong anyway? I'm too innocent to know.....
    jedster wrote:
    Just off to contemplate my own mortality and inevitable descent into decrepedness.
    FCN 3 or 4 on road depending on clothing
    FCN 8 off road because I'm too old to go racing around.
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