How do you know you are finally a serious "roadie"

Jez mon

Gazzaputt wrote:

dodgy wrote:

I don't agree that real roadies have slightly grubby looking bikes.

Seconded.

You must look the part.

Fake tan at the start of the season on them shaved legs. :P

For Gods sake if you do this, a) don't tell anyone you have and b) DON'T LET IT COLLECT AT THE CREASE IN YOUR KNEES

I let it build up naturally.

Anyway, you are allowed a slightly grubby bike if you live in Uni halls and have nowhere to wash it!

I agree with Alex you are only a roadie when you race or if your an older cyclist who used to blitz the field but now just "potters". BUT you can be a proper cyclist and have no aspirations of racing!

cock_sportif

The bike should look like it's only ridden indoors, on rollers, once a week ...

Your lean, purposeful bod and ultra-defined calves should tell another story ...

dennisn

You know you're a serious cyclist when ...

....the sun has fused the rubber pads, of your roof rack, to the roof of your car.

.... you no longer have tan lines in the summer, but permanent scorch marks that last
year around.

.... you paint your brand new Colnago high end carbon frame flat black so that it will
look like it's not worth stealing.

.... you have a certain job because it lets you ride when you want to.

..... about 50% of your visible skin has been sanded down, at one time or another,
by tree bark, gravel roads, pavement, and the like.

..... you have eaten so many bananas that you have had to buy a longer stem because your arms are getting longer.

..... you have more tires, tubes, and wheels in your garage / basement than a well
stocked bike shop.

..... no one has ever seen you in street clothes.

.....you receive, in the mail, literally, every issue of every bike catalog ever printed and
packages arrivee at your door at least once a week.

..... you can build a wheel and be riding it in less than an hour.

...... the message on your phone says something like this "I'm out riding - if this is about cycling please leave a message - if it's not - what the hell do you want?"

..... and lastly, you never read this. You're out riding.

Dennis Noward

redddraggon

Jez mon wrote:

Anyway, you are allowed a slightly grubby bike if you live in Uni halls and have nowhere to wash it!!

Baby wipes......

dennisn

cock_sportif wrote:

The bike should look like it's only ridden indoors, on rollers, once a week ...

Your lean, purposeful bod and ultra-defined calves should tell another story ...

In theory all bikes should look marvelous but in reality a bit of brake dust here, a smear of oil there, and a slightly faded paint job say a lot about the time the rider has spent RIDING
his bike. So I say, IF appearences matter, then a bit of grunge goes a long way especially when you go flying by the spit and polish boys.

Dennis Noward

Monty Dog

The other way around - things that distinguish a beginners bike from a serious riders:
- Tyres don't match
- Bar tape is unravelled
- End of cables are unravelled and without caps
- Ridiculously large seatpack (compensates for mechanical ineptitude - the real roadies bike rarely brakes down!)

Finally, you can easily tell a serious roadie when riding in a group - they can easily follow a wheel, don't brake or weave all over the road and can hold a line in a corner - normally the skills you learn from racing in a bunch

dennisn

Monty Dog wrote:

The other way around - things that distinguish a beginners bike from a serious riders:
- Tyres don't match
- Bar tape is unravelled
- End of cables are unravelled and without caps
- Ridiculously large seatpack (compensates for mechanical ineptitude - the real roadies bike rarely brakes down!)

Finally, you can easily tell a serious roadie when riding in a group - they can easily follow a wheel, don't brake or weave all over the road and can hold a line in a corner - normally the skills you learn from racing in a bunch

Basically I'm a bit of a pig so I've got the well used "look" down pat. I feel that I need at least that look because I'm old and not fast anymore(if I ever was) and nothing is worse the a slow clean bike. :roll: :roll: Plus, us old guys, with lots of grey, just don't look right on the new stuff. It's almost as if everyone expects us to be riding steel.

Dennis Noward

Patrick1.0

When you can go fast.


And for the older chaps, when you click down the gears and pedal faster!

whyamihere

Monty Dog wrote:

The other way around - things that distinguish a beginners bike from a serious riders:
- Tyres don't match
- Bar tape is unravelled
- End of cables are unravelled and without caps
- Ridiculously large seatpack (compensates for mechanical ineptitude - the real roadies bike rarely brakes down!)

Finally, you can easily tell a serious roadie when riding in a group - they can easily follow a wheel, don't brake or weave all over the road and can hold a line in a corner - normally the skills you learn from racing in a bunch

When the tyre logos don't line up with the valve

Also, cable caps aren't the best sign to look for. None of mine have caps, because all the cables are soldered instead.

salsarider79

"Scars, got to have a few scars. You know, like where your skin was peeled away by
the road some years ago. And these scars must be visible when wearing your summer kit. Anything hidden doesn't count.
Your bike must look like it's ridden and well used. Constantly shining and cleaning is a no-no. Don't let it get filthy but instead try to strike a balance between the "I ride all the time look" and the "I clean all the time look". A little bit of grunge here and there shows that
you're not some low life poser.
Ride without gloves if you can. This shows that you are definitely a manly man rider
with years of experience.
Never, never let the big chain ring touch your bare leg. Nothing screams amateur more
than greasy tooth marks on your calf. If this happens you must stop immediately and
clean it off. No excuses.
Ride tubular tires. This will guarantee acceptance into the inner sanctum of upper echelon racers and riders. Real cyclists would rather walk than use clinchers.
Keep your water bottles a little on the ratty looking side. Cap with some teeth marks in it,
old worn looking bottle with black marks on it (this requires that you use a metal cage -
also another must do). It must be filled with a nasty looking lemon - lime colored liquid. No
exceptions."
Dennis Noward

Also, not wearing a helmet, in summer with a pair of sunglasses purched on your head, and in winter with a head warmer on. What about having Campy/Shimano discussions as you ride too?
At the last count, I had all of these except the 'Tubs' one. Oh, and I use a purple coloured liquid rather than lemon. More people see it then.....

dennisn

salsarider79 wrote:

"Scars, got to have a few scars. You know, like where your skin was peeled away by
the road some years ago. And these scars must be visible when wearing your summer kit. Anything hidden doesn't count.
Your bike must look like it's ridden and well used. Constantly shining and cleaning is a no-no. Don't let it get filthy but instead try to strike a balance between the "I ride all the time look" and the "I clean all the time look". A little bit of grunge here and there shows that
you're not some low life poser.
Ride without gloves if you can. This shows that you are definitely a manly man rider
with years of experience.
Never, never let the big chain ring touch your bare leg. Nothing screams amateur more
than greasy tooth marks on your calf. If this happens you must stop immediately and
clean it off. No excuses.
Ride tubular tires. This will guarantee acceptance into the inner sanctum of upper echelon racers and riders. Real cyclists would rather walk than use clinchers.
Keep your water bottles a little on the ratty looking side. Cap with some teeth marks in it,
old worn looking bottle with black marks on it (this requires that you use a metal cage -
also another must do). It must be filled with a nasty looking lemon - lime colored liquid. No
exceptions."
Dennis Noward

Also, not wearing a helmet, in summer with a pair of sunglasses purched on your head, and in winter with a head warmer on. What about having Campy/Shimano discussions as you ride too?
At the last count, I had all of these except the 'Tubs' one. Oh, and I use a purple coloured liquid rather than lemon. More people see it then.....

Purple does sound disgusting and may in fact be OK. However, here in the states the "serious" riders strive for that lemon-lime, almost urine sample, look. It's not
required but it does show you really care.

Dennis Noward

Jez mon

redddraggon wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

Anyway, you are allowed a slightly grubby bike if you live in Uni halls and have nowhere to wash it!!

Baby wipes......

You my friend, are a genius! Seriously though, I should have thought of that!

dennisn

Jez mon wrote:

redddraggon wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

Anyway, you are allowed a slightly grubby bike if you live in Uni halls and have nowhere to wash it!!

Baby wipes......

You my friend, are a genius! Seriously though, I should have thought of that!

I'm having a problem with the baby wipes. What kind of manly man would lower himself
to use them? Even in an emergency it's just too much. Well, maybe, just maybe you could use them to remove teeth marks on your calf. You guys are asking a lot. I might be able to get you a special exemption for them if you have a perscription from your doctor.

Dennis Noward

GrahamGillooly

''When the tyre logos don't line up with the valve''

Is this for rims that don't have any logos?

I always thought it best to line up the tyre logo with the rim logo for a cleaner look..

Jez mon

dennisn wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

redddraggon wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

Anyway, you are allowed a slightly grubby bike if you live in Uni halls and have nowhere to wash it!!

Baby wipes......

You my friend, are a genius! Seriously though, I should have thought of that!

I'm having a problem with the baby wipes. What kind of manly man would lower himself
to use them? Even in an emergency it's just too much. Well, maybe, just maybe you could use them to remove teeth marks on your calf. You guys are asking a lot. I might be able to get you a special exemption for them if you have a perscription from your doctor.

Dennis Noward

Erm, the same kind of manly man who shaves his legs?

whyamihere

GrahamGillooly wrote:

''When the tyre logos don't line up with the valve''

Is this for rims that don't have any logos?

I always thought it best to line up the tyre logo with the rim logo for a cleaner look..

Valve or logo, it's all good. Just looks silly when the tyre logo's halfway round the wheel though. Makes it harder to find whatever's just given you a puncture too...

dennisn

whyamihere wrote:

GrahamGillooly wrote:

''When the tyre logos don't line up with the valve''

Is this for rims that don't have any logos?

I always thought it best to line up the tyre logo with the rim logo for a cleaner look..

Valve or logo, it's all good. Just looks silly when the tyre logo's halfway round the wheel though. Makes it harder to find whatever's just given you a puncture too...

This tire logo thing is really a moot point because tubulars are the ONLY tires allowed
on a "serious" riders bike.

Dennis Noward

dennisn

Jez mon wrote:

dennisn wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

redddraggon wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

Anyway, you are allowed a slightly grubby bike if you live in Uni halls and have nowhere to wash it!!

Baby wipes......

You my friend, are a genius! Seriously though, I should have thought of that!

I'm having a problem with the baby wipes. What kind of manly man would lower himself
to use them? Even in an emergency it's just too much. Well, maybe, just maybe you could use them to remove teeth marks on your calf. You guys are asking a lot. I might be able to get you a special exemption for them if you have a perscription from your doctor.

Dennis Noward

Erm, the same kind of manly man who shaves his legs?

I think you're looking at it wrong. It takes monumental courage for a man to shave his
legs, however men, under no circumstances, may use "bady wipes". The very name should tell you that. Plus it is a well known fact that real men use only rags or shop wipes.

Dennis Noward

Jez mon

dennisn wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

dennisn wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

redddraggon wrote:

Jez mon wrote:

Anyway, you are allowed a slightly grubby bike if you live in Uni halls and have nowhere to wash it!!

Baby wipes......

You my friend, are a genius! Seriously though, I should have thought of that!

I'm having a problem with the baby wipes. What kind of manly man would lower himself
to use them? Even in an emergency it's just too much. Well, maybe, just maybe you could use them to remove teeth marks on your calf. You guys are asking a lot. I might be able to get you a special exemption for them if you have a perscription from your doctor.

Dennis Noward

Erm, the same kind of manly man who shaves his legs?

I think you're looking at it wrong. It takes monumental courage for a man to shave his
legs, however men, under no circumstances, may use "baby wipes". The very name should tell you that. Plus it is a well known fact that real men use only rags or shop wipes.

Dennis Noward

Don't get me wrong, I'd never use baby wipes on myself. But my bike is female, and therefore she gets what she wants. If she wants baby wipes, then dam it, I'm going to have to drag my smooth legs to Tesco and buy them. If anyone asks, my manly manliness made babies!

azzurribike

after riding most of the week to and form work plus training, you get in the car and drive somewhere and wonder why the car has somehow mysteriously pulled in and out of slip lanes as if the car was a bike.

Alex_Simmons/RST

dennisn wrote:

I think you're looking at it wrong. It takes monumental courage for a man to shave his legs,

real men wax

tubularglue

- when in the middle of the pack, you alway ride straight through the pothole
- when you start skipping meals
- you shave more than your girlfriend/wife/partner
- you let your scabs stick to the sheets
- someone puts you in a ditch cause you forgot about halfwheeling
- you eat everything in site after riding 4 hours on water
- you pay for all cycling crap with cash, so the wife knows no betta'
- you skip church every single sunday so that you pedal
- you have shredded more skin off your fingers from glue than you can remember
- you have a couple of broken helmets
- too many wheelsets
- too many bits in the basement tub
- etc. etc. etc.

singlespeedexplosif

But my bike is female,

:shock:

Mine's an inanimate collection of carbon, titanium, aluminium and rubber.

dodgy

Isn't it obvious that the majority of these lists are US centric.

Mark Alexander

Don't worry guys, 'baby' wipes can also be bought as wet wipes. That's a more practicaly named product. The Tesco own branded ones are more than enough and cheap into the bargain.

Some of these apply

http://www.bikeradar.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=14734316.

Not all or you'll look like a tit

cock_sportif

Whoa! Having spent half the weekend up to my elbows in bike crud, and the other half up to my elbows in baby poo, i can inform you that there is nothing unmanly about babywipes.

Real men wade in and do their bit with the children.





(Just imagine the nagging if they didn't )

singlespeedexplosif

agreed 100%. If they can cope with Meconium, then chain grime's a doddle..:)

Mark Alexander

Valid point, well made