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How much time will i have to ride when my new baby is born?

The BulletThe Bullet Posts: 16
edited October 2008 in The bottom bracket
Hi all,

I made the transition from mountain bike to road cycling in January this year and haven't looked back.

I have built up to about 8 hours per week averaging around 150 miles. I have ridden a few sportives and have had some good times - the most recent was the cheddar chalenge (160km) which i did in 4hrs 57 mins. I feel this was only manageable with the level of training i had done.

My wife is due to give birth on Nov 6th which i am thrilled about - it is our first and it is going to be a boy, awesome!

The thing that is playing on my mind is how my training will go - everybody keeps saying "you won't have any time for bikes when the baby comes."

If anybody has any experience in this situation, or would like to offer any advice, thoughts or comments, they are welcomed.

Regards
"Pain is temporary...
... If I quit, however, it lasts forever. "

Lance Armstrong
«1

Posts

  • Become your sons directeur sportif!
    Legs, lungs and lycra.

    Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  • stueycstueyc Posts: 518
    i have a 5month boy...i have no time at all mate...reverted to buying second bike to do my work commute now
  • commuting. that's all.
  • lateralus wrote:
    commuting. that's all.

    +1

    Mind you, doesn't mean you can't add on an extra few miles to the direct route... :)
  • singlespeedexplosifsinglespeedexplosif Posts: 1,564
    edited September 2008
    it all depends on how much you want to ride.

    (edit - sorry that's not meant to be a dig at anyone who isn't managing to get out. It's just that I've found the whole kids thing to be a wonderful focus for EVERYTHING, not just riding. You either have to start making the most of every single minute you can get, or you very quickly have no hobby, social life etc...!)

    I've ridden more since the birth of our 2 sons than ever before. The youngest is 14 weeks old and I'm still managing 12 hours a week - other than the first 2 weeks when that was down at about 7.
    Commute, and get up early at the weekends so you've ridden and you're back in time for breakfast and have the rest of the day to recoup brownie points with some family stuff.
    And get a turbo, if you don't already have one - half an hour snatched in the evening is much better than none at all.
  • i think singlespeedexplosif is the exception rather than the rule I'm afraid.

    In my experience: none, for the first few weeks. very little thereafter...
  • NONE NONE NONE for the first few months.

    Then you might be able to beg for a couple of hours once a week for the next 6 -10
  • +1 on the above - none for a bit (or you'll get it in the neck). After a few weeks, commuting, evening turbo sessions then (you'll know when you can ask) out on the road again.
    Be prepared to negotiate for all your free time - whenever your other half does anything that requires you to look after your son (hairdressers, shopping, visiting her friends), this represents an opportunity to secure some precious time on your bike.
  • SBezzaSBezza Posts: 2,173
    Depends on how your other half is, I ride quite a bit, as well as go down the gym, and my wife never moans about it, then again if she wants to do something I look after the little boy. You may have to cut down, but I don't think you will need to stop, unless the other half constantly moans about it.

    You can still get quick training sessions in to be honest, and if you have willing parents yourself, they can look after the child as well. As above get a turbo trainer, and you can train whilst the baby is asleep.

    First 3 months you might not even feel like doing training, depending how well the little one sleeps at night, but I was the one constantly getting up all hours of the night to feed the little boy, and felt tired alot of the time, but as they sleep longer you soon get the energy back.
  • Thanks for the comments so far, it's not exactly what i wanted to hear but it's kinda what i'd expected. I guess riding hours generally die down in the winter anyway. Maybe in the spring he will be old enough to ride with me in one of those little buggy things.

    The thing is i keep thinking about the 3 weeks i have off in Novemeber and how much good riding i could be doing - though SBEZZA makes a good point:
    First 3 months you might not even feel like doing training, depending how well the little one sleeps at night,

    I've got a turbo in the garage that i think will transfer to the nursery!
    "Pain is temporary...
    ... If I quit, however, it lasts forever. "

    Lance Armstrong
  • I feel your pain, brother ...

    My little boy was one a couple of weeks ago and I'm only just beginning to scrape together a 6 + hour training week (also at a demanding stage in my career, which doen't help).

    As above, it might be wise to lay off for a few weeks after the arrival and see how things go,

    I regained control by extending my commute by at least 20 mins, giving me 1 hr 20mins a day, with the exception of Wednesdays where I get away early AM and get a decent 2hr mid-week ride in. Weekends i try to get out early and be back mid morning, then look after the monster while my wife goes for a swim in the PM.

    Basically: before I just *had* time, now i have to *create* it by negotiating and planning ahead. But it is do-able.

    Or you could be like Chris Boardman and be off racing the day the baby arrives :D
  • Loads more time to cycle. Your wife will be too busy looking after the baby to stop you :lol:
  • lateralus wrote:
    commuting. that's all.

    +1

    Must go that is all I have time to write
  • doog442doog442 Posts: 370
    we have 3 kids and i like to think I did my bit when they were babies (although the missus may not agree)

    Clearly the first few weeks will be hard as your good lady will need time to recover and you will need to find a routine or system....

    Do your bit around the house and earn your brownie points and off you go... I used to run but its hard to run on 2 hours sleep a night :wink:
  • fossyantfossyant Posts: 2,549
    Work was my main reason when our kids were young..too far to commute....

    Mine are now 7 and 5, so it's better.

    TBH you'll be knackered for a number of weeks - this lack of sleep will kill you.... until you get used to it.

    Commuting might be hard first couple of weeks, as you'll not know what'censored you...

    Even now, when the kids are bigger, my main riding is commuting, then a nip away for maybe 2-3 hours on a saturday or sunday...that's it..make it pay.....

    One bike used loads, and two road bikes used not much - just weekends.... and I'm after more bikes......
  • It also depends upon your wife, any hobbies for her?
    Mine was an is an active horse rider, with a job too, when my "little darling" was born, I kept on with the cycling, disappearing all Sunday, be it club run or race, ditto several nights in the week.
    It came to a head when a tearful wife points out that she can't cope with going to a dressage with a baby, who may start bawling her head off just when the wife needs to get on the horse.
    End of active cycling career (Not that I was any good and I was 32 also, so no great loss, no proto Tout winner's career in ashes).
    My one assume that you're no LA in the making?
    If your wife is happy to stay at home, play the mother & housewife, have no interests other than raise children, look after you & the house, then things will continue as before.
    Otherwise, there's going to be changes. As to how much will be for you to "negotiate".
    Ultimately, it's a case of which is more important to you and if the answer's "The bike", then you've made a big mistake somewhere along the line.
    Remember that you are an Englishman and thus have won first prize in the lottery of life.
  • 4kicks4kicks Posts: 549
    Ive got 14 month old twins, run two hotels, one hotel/house under construction and still do some freelance consulting back in the UK, and if I can strill ride, so can you.

    First 3 months with the kids were difficult - after that its all about routine, and its only now the kids are awake the whole day and not in nursery yet that we are really pushed for time.

    Remember its about compromise when you must and holding firm when you can. Agree 2 or three (ONLY) times, max 3 or 4 hours, for you to ride, and you have to give somehting back in return (housework?!)
    ANyway, my kide are better than riding. Really.
    Fitter....healthier....more productive.....
  • buy a turbo trainer
  • Congratulations. :D

    With ours, I got no time for the 1st 3 months -not enough sleep & too much guilt! Then 3hrs on Sun Morning for next 3 months, then 2hrs midweek & a long Sunday ride after that. For my long ride, I set off at the crack of dawn so that I'd be home & washed up for midday.
  • just had no 2, 2 weeks ago - back on the club run in the morning if sprog puts in a good sleep tonight....then, likely to be 1 evening ride + a 1 club run a week.... commuting is the answer...... i have had my strongest year since 2004 this year simply by doing a 10 mile round trip 3-4 days a week.....

    face facts - it will never be easy again for the next 18 years!.. learn to adjust.... time management is the key!
  • grayo59grayo59 Posts: 722
    Use the time you would have used for sex if your wife wasn't so exhausted looking after the baby! :D
    __________________
    ......heading for the box, but not too soon I hope!
  • hopper1hopper1 Posts: 4,389
    My wee fella is 3 years old next month, so now at full time nursery! :wink::wink::wink:
    I can ride all day every day, now.
    When he was born, I did my bit around the house, looked after little man when the wife wanted a break, and went out on the bike as often as I needed to, though I did cut the long rides down to around 2 hours...Better than nothing.
    Keep her sweet, mate, and don't take the p!ss when she lets you out!
    You can't help with the feeds, 'cos you haven't got t!ts! (or have you?)....... :shock:
    Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!
  • pneumaticpneumatic Posts: 1,989
    I reckon you get about 50 percent of the time you allow her to do her own thing (and bear in mind that it may be some months or years before she dares leave the infant out of her sight at all).

    Best advice must be to talk about it. Regularly. Common sense says that you will be a better father if you are fit, relaxed and not bottling up resentment at not getting out on your bike. However, be warned, your version of common sense is often the last thing that applies when you are negotiating with a spouse!

    Good luck. Kids are great. My boy's 14 and he tells me he wants to go cycle camping with me in October. That makes me feel good.


    Fast and Bulbous
    Peregrinations
    Eddingtons: 80 (Metric); 60 (Imperial)

  • volvinevolvine Posts: 409
    i have just had a baby boy 2 weeks old and have been unable to ride my bike since the Manchester 100 mile sportive so when i do jump back into the saddle i'm sure i will be back to square 1 struggling up the slightest gradient lol :lol:

    just going to try and blag an hour or so at the weekend for a while until he gets into a bit of a routine at home
  • I am sure the mother of your child is both charming and reasonable. However, my experience of a new mothers (my wife, my sister and others), is that the event and the hormones combine to create a unique level of unreasonable behaviour. (Apologies to anyone who thinks this is either nonsense or sexist - I am trying to point out my experience only. ) That being the case, the only way I found I could have some me-time was by overly compensating (two hours out early on Sunday morning in return for her taking the whole afternoon out shopping), and also by being helpful in highly visible ways. The last point is key. As every so often there would be a "reckoning" whereby questions would be asked about my commitment to the tasks in hand etc. Being able to call on very memorable things like painting and decorating, visits to inlaws etc is essential. The "reckoning" may happen when you are there to defend yourself, but more likely it will happen when she has calls and visits from the health visitor, friends, mother etc. So it needs to be memorable. The less visible stuff like taking out the rubbish, cooking, cleaning and so on simply did not earn brownie points because I did my fair share of it before the birth. Still important, because you cannot wheel your bike out for a ride past a great mound of dirty washing and piles of filthy nappy sacks. You have to find the balance that's right for you. In the middle of the night when you're snoring away and the child is snuffling and getting ready to bawl its darling eyes out, consider that it's possible that she might resent the snoring and find supporting arguments about how little life has changed for you compared to her: "After all you go on your bike whereas I am stuck here". If she has highly memorable examples of your contribution to The Nest, to her and your little one, then she is much less likely to dig you in the ribs and kick off.

    On an even more flippant note, I also found that when I return from a bike ride, I arrived with fresh supplies from the shop, including (important for Mrs Special K) lots of chocolate.

    Congratulations and good luck.
    "There are holes in the sky,
    Where the rain gets in.
    But they're ever so small
    That's why rain is thin. " Spike Milligan
  • popettepopette Posts: 2,089
    Some really good advice already given on this thread - especially by specialK on his memorable brownie points earned. That is so true - the midwife/health visitor/antenatal mums will ask if you're doing your bit and if she can tell them that you're doing lots to help and come away with the feeling that you're doing better than all the other husbands, then she'll be well chuffed and more inclined to let you out on your bike.

    I came to cycling after I'd already had 4 kids so it has always been a balancing act to keep everyone happy. We trade a lot of favours - he lets me cycle and I let him go and watch Man city (I drove to scotland on my own with the kids while he watched the match and then flew up later (at my suggestion - major brownie points to me), if I'm going out on my bike at night, I make sure that all the kids are bathed, fed and ready for bed and our tea is in the oven for when I get back. He cycles too but he needs a bit of a shove to get him going - If I encourage him out then I know I won't feel too guilty when I go out. There are kids all wanting attention in this equation so if I'm riding at the weekend, I try to get up and out really early so I'm back to make them breakfast. Or, I can do a rollers session at home when my little one is sleeping etc.

    If you do things for each other, give her the time away from it all etc you should still be able to carry on.

    By the way, one thing my husband did when I had my last baby was to really go on and on about how brilliant I was to have delivered this huge baby (11lb 1oz! :shock: ). It made me feel fantastic to hear him telling everyone about how wonderful I was :oops: . You don't need to have a whopper like that to tell everyone how wonderful she is and I'm sure that she would appreciate it like I did.

    Oh, and like Special K said, I was certainly a bit irrational during those first weeks - lack of sleep and those damn hormones can play havoc but it will pass.

    Congratulations & good luck!!!!!!!!
  • I've got 3 kids (and 3 dogs) and manage to get out - it can be done - some of the partners on this thread sound a bit unreasonable - I mean a 2 hour ride does not balance out them spending an afternoon shopping. My way of thinking is if I get up at 7am on Saturday I've been out 2 hours before she's even out of bed so that doesn't count !

    Sometimes it's hard - I mean you roll in from 80 miles in the hills and straight away you have to cut the grass, get the shopping in, put the kids to bed when all you want to do is collapse in an armchair and have someone put food in front of you. Anyway we manage - she runs marathons so it's not a one way street. I'm not saying nothing has to give - cycling is now my only real hobby and my social life isn't what it was - depends what you want. My partner is pretty easy with it - she doesn't resent me cycling - in fact she's become a big cycling fan and watches all the racing even getting me to tape them if she's out - she wont actually ride a bike yet but I'm working on it.

    it's a hard life if you don't weaken.
  • None, but at least once they go off to University you can start again, say 20-25 years :?
  • With my son_ none at all... he slept like a log.
    With my daughter_loads... she never slept and still doesn't.

    I had to use one of those backpack baby-sling things but it made me popular with the wife at three in the morning.
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