2012 Olympics......alternative events to appease the locals
TheBoyBilly
Posts: 749
We were discussing this at work, some ideas put forward : -
Drive-by Shooting
Knife-throwing
Binge-drinking (on the Circle Line)
...but I'm sure you can all do better though
Drive-by Shooting
Knife-throwing
Binge-drinking (on the Circle Line)
...but I'm sure you can all do better though
To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity - Oscar Wilde
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Posts
Teen-age pregnancies.
Ash-tray discus.
Garden fence hurdles.
Relay using a stolen candlestick as the baton.
Can we fix it?
Yes we can!
The hanging around outside shops time trial: The teams 15 of will have an hour to see how many old people they can intimidate.
new fencing event called the dagger (choose knife - first to draw blood wins)
vauxhall astra team fit into car
for inspiration search 'balls of steel' on youtube and look in particular for 'neg's urban sports'
big european stranger rodeo being a personal favourite
Neil Gaiman
The "Cycle Trial" even will be held down the Mile End Road
White Van Man (regulation ford Transit) and London Cabbies vs Couriers on Fixees with regulation 5KG Courier bag and 1kg lock
Norco 125 Custom Build + 90's Peugeot Road Bike
The heats sort out who can convince the bouncers to let them into the night club.
Quarters, which 16 can down the greatest number of Blue WKDs (Women's event) or Snakebite & Black (Men's)
Semis, which 8 can vomit the furthest.
Finals, who passes out and is taken to hospital for a stomach pump. Last one standing wins gold.
Fast and Bulbous
Peregrinations
Eddingtons: 80 (Metric); 60 (Imperial)
I propose Bob Crow Archery :twisted: chain every Londoners favourite trade union leader to a post with a long leash and let the bowmen loose on him
Take the yacht from your docklands apartment to your place of work
Race to make a hedge fund £1 million at the expense of normal people
Leap into your supercar and race to your second home in the country.
Bob
ps "I propose Bob Crow Archery chain every Londoners favourite trade union leader to a post with a long leash and let the bowmen loose on him" That should read short leash.
Joy Riding down the Mall
Yacking on the most tube station floors
Bendy Bus banger racing
South End Pier Mile Race
Bike: 2008 GT & 2010 MARIN Hawk Hill
Stolen wallet relay
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg
etc etc etc
poetry - most gratuitous use of the word f*ck and derivatives
spitting and bumblegum spitting
modern pentathlon (chav version): loudest car stereo in crappest car; fastest delivered abuse; quickest stabbing (team event); 100m purse snatch relay; chosen points category - spitting or vomiting.
dog handling, with points for setting a pit bull on someone & getting it to censored on footpaths on command
Orienteering: pedestrian attempts to move quickly across a tricky route, filled with other pedestrians, bikes, road works, security incidents, bums asking for money, charity collectors (time points gained if you can punch one out), busy roads with heavy traffic and so on. Will also have some snakes and ladders features, e.g. an option of taking the tube or train with the possibility of having a signal or points failure or wildcat strike; or cycling but where every driver is out to get you. Must complete route in fastest time.
Special police only event: shooting. first shoot someone in the head 7 times (victim will be supplied by event, China has a surplus of executions this year), challenge is to cover it up with most outrageous lies that then can't be sourced back to you.
Given that were now a lads mag culture we could get the Daily Sport to organise it and call it 'It's a Knockers-out'!
Although Im sure they would clean up in the riding on the pavement while smoking a spliff on a squeaky cross chained (presumably) stolen MTB.