Racing/ wife balance
Shavedlegs
Posts: 310
What is the secret?
I manage to train, not as much as I like, but enough. I can flexible and train late at night if necessary.
However because I am married with 2 children getting to races is a problem. With travel they take a whole day, or at least until 3pm.
How do other members of the forum manage their partners expectations of 'together time' at the weekends. Do you drag them to watch?
A friend (under pressure) e-mailed his girlfriend to say, he asked his trainer to work some 'girlfriend time' into his training\ race programme. That was the beginning of the end.
I manage to train, not as much as I like, but enough. I can flexible and train late at night if necessary.
However because I am married with 2 children getting to races is a problem. With travel they take a whole day, or at least until 3pm.
How do other members of the forum manage their partners expectations of 'together time' at the weekends. Do you drag them to watch?
A friend (under pressure) e-mailed his girlfriend to say, he asked his trainer to work some 'girlfriend time' into his training\ race programme. That was the beginning of the end.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK5Bfqj5fxY
I'd love to know the answer to this one. Training time isn't a problem as I commute and fit other trainning around when my daughters go <insert any activity> (thank God I didn't have sons otherwise I'd have to go with them!)
Racing, well, all Sunday morning gone, then if it's a long one, Sunday afternoon sleeping. What's worse is, as I've got more serious I've also started to go to bed at 9 the night before an important race, she loves that one, in bed at 9 on a Saturday evening. :evil:
On top of this, let's be fair, most cyclists are pretty odd so I'm too afraid to ask her to come with me.
The only thing, which can work, I used to remind her how much time I would spend playing rugby and getting pissed but the memory's fading and this is wearing a bit thin now as well.
Is she turned on by sweaty bollocks? What's wrong with waiting a while?
Of course but then unlike your's, my wife isn't desperate to get some the minute I come in the door. In fact she gets more than enough the night before but that's another story.
why can't they all be like this one
I'm racing at Hillingdon on Saturday so I'll you know how I get on and the my result too.
I'll also try a recovery ride as soon as I get home.
My weekends already seem more fun.
If time is tight I think 'booking' time into a training schedule for 'social/partner time' is a good idea but I can see how it could be misinterpreted, adn it should only ever be a guidline not a period of constantly wrist watch checking!
Dragging the family to watch might be a solution if the weather's nice, and some local point of interest can be visited. What about your wife taking the opportunity to visit relatives/places you're not so keen on seeing? And perhaps most importantly - make some kind of swap so she gets to do something without the kids too now and again. And remember why you're together, and why you had kids - love 'em.
I know how valuable your own time on a bike can be only too well but don't let it take over completely and try not to be too selfish and single minded.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A29564175
(which is always going to be linked to from here) -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/other_sports/cycling/default.stm
Feel free to add your own experiences, the more the merrier although I would ask that you refrain from the carnal references because I don't want to get sacked :shock:
Then sit down and plan ahead what you'd both like. "I get to do this race if on the following weekend you can go shopping while I mind the kids....." Gotta be a balance.
Perhaps restrict yourself to local races for a season.
I will earn Brownie points through various good deeds (taking son to play rugby, spending quality shopping time with Mrs Bronzie :roll: etc). These accrued points can then be exchanged for time on the bike.
However I have noticed a couple of problems with this system:
1. Brownie points have a very short "use by" date and seem to deteriorate very rapidly if stored for too long. Best used while they (and Mrs Bronzie's memory) are still fresh.
2. There is a finite storage capacity to the Brownie points resevoir. Once maximum points have been accrued, no amount of additional good deeds can then accrue even more points for even more time on the bike. Apparently, "It just doesn't work this way!".
3. Brownie points can suddenly evaporate without trace at the drop of a hat if some apparently minor misdemeanour (eg forgetting wedding anniversary) causes an imbalance in the Brownie points system.
Hope this helps!
How on earth did you land that gig?
Say hello on Saturday and if I can help you get that first win I will. I was thinking of attacking with 3 or 4 laps to go, I'll no doubt blowing on the final lap as usual. Happy for you have my wheel and perhaps take the win. The points are irrelevent to me as I enter so few races it is mathematically impossible for me to move up a CAT.
With luck I'll buy a few Brownie points with some flowers and chocolates. Not sure I can manage a shopping trip.
I also like cycling away from the mayhem of four young children, three under the age of 5, but I do feel guilty especially if I'm over 3 hours away from home. I try to make one day at the weekend devoted to kids stuff and then I don't feel too bad if I'm off for a sunday morning. It's the only thing that I do for myself, the rest of my time is devoted to kids and husband. My husband is not motivated to go out on his bike at the moment so I'm making hay and getting out quite a bit but when he wants to go out riding his bike, then we'll have to start negotiating.
There's a feature on this in Cycling weekly this week.