Haha fumps that custard thing truly brilliant. You sound like the sort of guy people need at a party.
Turn up wearing nothing but underwear. If anyone asks what the costume is say you're a premature ejaculation.
Well, I've come in my pants.
Go naked with your willy in a triffle
And say your F*ckin dis-custard.....sorry i'll get me coat
I once went to a fancy dress party as a roll of wall paper, got some old cloathes, and stapled wall paper all over me.....i won a bottle of Vodka for the most inventive costume.