Chavs shouting from cars - worst examples?
Comments
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Do you still get a lot of abuse these days? Used to get loads when I started in the late 80s but have lived on the continent for nearly 2 decades. Can't be as bad as back then.0
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Its pretty good where i ride but today some chav shouted `where`s your stabilisers`.Of course i took them off before my ride and now residing in the garage.I`ll stick them back on next week to please him.Cannondale CAAD 8 105
Rockrider 8.10 -
Massive amount of utter bell-**** out today. One dick ran the Missus off the road, yelled at her with something unintelligible and scorched off. He was driving what must have been 50 grands worth of Mercedes. If I ever meet him he will be receiving a new orifice to his sad carcass.Ecrasez l’infame0
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Best one i had was when a car driver went past me and my mate literally inches from our legs, horn pressed on, shouting abuse for no reason whatsoever. I shouted back and called him a w*nker as i gave it the tosser sign with my hand. He braked really hard then jumped out shouting, giving it the big one. This was right in front of a cycling teahut stop full of cyclists.
Thing is, im 6ft 3, 19 stone and an ex doorman with bodyguard experience, he just hadnt opened his eyes. I was off the bike in a flash, and whipped out a collapsable baton, i always carry one. The next thing is do is what i call the "Twelve Monkeys" routine. You basically go nuts, slap your head, roll your eyes, shake your head like youre having a fit and swear a lot, like real loud as if you have tourrettes. In a nutshell, the guy absolutely shat himself and started to backtrack to his car immediately. It always freaks them out because they think they are dealing with a mental patient and you aint all there.
I carried the routine on for a couple of minutes, waiving the baton, he sped off. The minute he was out of sight i stopped and cracked up, my mate was p*ssing himself along with several cyclists at the tea hut. I then meandered over to the hut and ordered two teas and a big slice of bread pudding, whilst smiling at everyone.
Works like a charm, trust me.
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Riding along Southend seafront a few years, and several stones, ago a car drove along and a somewhat corpulent female with a fag, acne and a Croydon facelift said "Cor, you're a fat c*nt on a bike ain't yer?" At the time I found it a bit difficult to disagree, I was fat and I can be a c*nt!!!!0
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Essex Rouleur wrote:Best one i had was when a car driver went past me and my mate literally inches from our legs, horn pressed on, shouting abuse for no reason whatsoever. I shouted back and called him a w*nker as i gave it the tosser sign with my hand. He braked really hard then jumped out shouting, giving it the big one. This was right in front of a cycling teahut stop full of cyclists.
Thing is, im 6ft 3, 19 stone and an ex doorman with bodyguard experience, he just hadnt opened his eyes. I was off the bike in a flash, and whipped out a collapsable baton, i always carry one. The next thing is do is what i call the "Twelve Monkeys" routine. You basically go nuts, slap your head, roll your eyes, shake your head like youre having a fit and swear a lot, like real loud as if you have tourrettes. In a nutshell, the guy absolutely shat himself and started to backtrack to his car immediately. It always freaks them out because they think they are dealing with a mental patient and you aint all there.
I carried the routine on for a couple of minutes, waiving the baton, he sped off. The minute he was out of sight i stopped and cracked up, my mate was p*ssing himself along with several cyclists at the tea hut. I then meandered over to the hut and ordered two teas and a big slice of bread pudding, whilst smiling at everyone.
Works like a charm, trust me.
You my man, are my hero. Cannondale CAAD 8 105
Rockrider 8.10 -
aren't those illegal to carry in public?Essex Rouleur wrote:Best one i had was when a car driver went past me and my mate literally inches from our legs, horn pressed on, shouting abuse for no reason whatsoever. I shouted back and called him a w*nker as i gave it the tosser sign with my hand. He braked really hard then jumped out shouting, giving it the big one. This was right in front of a cycling teahut stop full of cyclists.
Thing is, im 6ft 3, 19 stone and an ex doorman with bodyguard experience, he just hadnt opened his eyes. I was off the bike in a flash, and whipped out a collapsable baton, i always carry one. The next thing is do is what i call the "Twelve Monkeys" routine. You basically go nuts, slap your head, roll your eyes, shake your head like youre having a fit and swear a lot, like real loud as if you have tourrettes. In a nutshell, the guy absolutely shat himself and started to backtrack to his car immediately. It always freaks them out because they think they are dealing with a mental patient and you aint all there.
I carried the routine on for a couple of minutes, waiving the baton, he sped off. The minute he was out of sight i stopped and cracked up, my mate was p*ssing himself along with several cyclists at the tea hut. I then meandered over to the hut and ordered two teas and a big slice of bread pudding, whilst smiling at everyone.
Works like a charm, trust me.0 -
Slightly off topic but, whilst waiting behind a horse box today the Horse Farted with a little follow through, missed my mouth thankfully, but my glasses were pebble dashed..0
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peddlingmadness wrote:Slightly off topic but, whilst waiting behind a horse box today the Horse Farted with a little follow through, missed my mouth thankfully, but my glasses were pebble dashed.. Love it.The post not horse crap. Cannondale CAAD 8 105
Rockrider 8.10 -
And that's my new sig quote sorted for for the next month!peddlingmadness wrote:Slightly off topic but, whilst waiting behind a horse box today the Horse Farted with a little follow through, missed my mouth thankfully, but my glasses were pebble dashed..0 -
I have been on rides where someone in the passenger side has shouted something at the people in front of me, but can never hear what they say. Is this a newish phenomenon or have people always just randomly shouted out of windows at cyclists?
Having asked that I remember in my teens being in a car with my mates and only once or twice did we shout something funny (to us at least) at people as we whizzed past. You think its hilarious for 5 seconds and then forget about it. Bloody youths!0 -
fatsmoker wrote:SpainSte wrote:Hahaha no he's old and extremely small! Never really liked him on the telly but he was actually a decent bloke in real life!
So why did he get out of the car and what did he say to make you htink he's a decent bloke?
As he was going past I looked up and noticed it was him (or someone who looked like him), I think he saw the recognition in my face. We chatted for a few minutes, talked about F1 etc which I love, chatted about the area where we were, pubs, restaurants, his neighbours and his other motors. Pretty normal bloke, not like he comes off on the telly at all which is to be honest a bit of a bell end.0 -
Last summer I had the contents of a giant super-soaker water pistol discharged on my face from a passing chav-mobile. Hope it was only water........ :? :?Cube Attempt 20110
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Hinzy9 wrote:Last summer I had the contents of a giant super-soaker water pistol discharged on my face from a passing chav-mobile. Hope it was only water........ :? :?
If it was a chav-mobile it was water. But if it was a Cav-mobile, it would have been somethig else
WyndyMilla Massive Attack | Rourke 953 | Condor Italia 531 Pro | Boardman CX Pro | DT Swiss RR440 Tubeless Wheels
Find me on Strava0 -
The thing I find remarkable is when they sneak up behind you and blast their horn, expecting you to fall off with fright. They don't seem to realise that you can hear their dustbin lid exhaust and sub woofer coming a mile away.I have only two things to say to that; Bo***cks0
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I’ve had two memorable occasions, one was a foreign chap pulling alongside me holding up loads of traffic shouting "allez, allez, allez" all the way up a very steep hill, it certainly had the desired effect and made me peddle a lot harder!
The second was a pair of young lads blasting an air horn at me as they passed; I nearly fell off and gave pursuit all the way to our local Tesco where they parked up. I confronted the passenger who turned out to be one of my soldiers! A few stern words and a few expletives and he spent the weekend on duty. As far as I know he hasn’t done it since.
I do get a lot of abuse around where I live, there’s one section of cycle path that’s covered in horse s*** and broken glass, if you venture on the road in this section its amazing how many people give you the old road tax lecture! I’m quite a big lad so not too easily intimidated or put off. 0 -
I once heard someone tooting behind me, so turned round and gave them the full "Fcuk off!" complete with gestures.
It was my Uncle, he was only saying hello...
It's just a hill. Get over it.0 -
Once had a lighter thrown at me........... Still works, still use it, to light the gas !!0
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I've had a few people shout at me! A regular is 'Oi, Bradley!!', which is odd because I am short and overweight!!
Even today, approaching a climb, two school kids shouted at me 'Go on Bradley, get up that hill', still not sure if it was taking the p*ss or encouragement!
However, my favourite one has to be once when I was struggling up a hill, an overtaking car slowed down, and the chap inside shouted out his window, 'CADENCE!! CADENCE!! FIND YOUR RHYTHM!!' A little encouragement always helps!!0 -
SecretSam wrote:I once heard someone tooting behind me, so turned round and gave them the full "Fcuk off!" complete with gestures.
It was my Uncle, he was only saying hello...
I did that once, only it was my mother .... oops :oops: 0 -
CHRISNOIR wrote:I once got " 'Ere, mate!! The thing about the Tour de France is - it's in France!!' ".
Which was ironic as the year was 2007 and the Tour de France was - at that very moment - in Kent.
Love this one... haha Pure Comedy,
I haven't personally had anything, apart from the odd screaming from a car that I'm some sort of dickhead.
But my dad did once tell me a story about him an my mum, my mum was just about to turn out of a junction and some guy came whizzing round the corner in a car at about 80 mph on a 30 mph road, so no chance to move really, he nearly killed my mum, so my dad, furious as he was, rode after him, and managed to catch him stuck at some road works, my dad pulled up outside his window, the man knew exactly what he had just done, as he had to swerve to miss my mum. The man wound down his window and automatically started f'ing and blinding, my dad telling him I ought to call the police, you nearly killed my wife... The man must of had enough and slammed his door into my dad causing him to fall to the floor, but obviously wasn't clever enough to close his window, as my dad got straight back up, punched him in the face through the window, instantaneously breaking is jaw, the stupid c***.
What a lad.0 -
lukebennett wrote:CHRISNOIR wrote:I once got " 'Ere, mate!! The thing about the Tour de France is - it's in France!!' ".
Which was ironic as the year was 2007 and the Tour de France was - at that very moment - in Kent.
Love this one... haha Pure Comedy,
I haven't personally had anything, apart from the odd screaming from a car that I'm some sort of dickhead.
But my dad did once tell me a story about him an my mum, my mum was just about to turn out of a junction and some guy came whizzing round the corner in a car at about 80 mph on a 30 mph road, so no chance to move really, he nearly killed my mum, so my dad, furious as he was, rode after him, and managed to catch him stuck at some road works, my dad pulled up outside his window, the man knew exactly what he had just done, as he had to swerve to miss my mum. The man wound down his window and automatically started f'ing and blinding, my dad telling him I ought to call the police, you nearly killed my wife... The man must have had enough and slammed his door into my dad causing him to fall to the floor, but obviously wasn't clever enough to close his window, as my dad got straight back up, punched him in the face through the window, instantaneously breaking is jaw, the stupid c***.
What a lad.
Fair play to your Dad.
When's his parole due?
It's just a hill. Get over it.0
