Unsympathetic Other Halves

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  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    My girllfriend doesn't like me cycling, but understands its what I do and so tries to be supportive and ensures that I'm safe.

    Point in case, hi-viz. She wanted me to wear something hi-viz. I didn't and put forward a rational argument. In the end I asked her to buy me a bright blue one instead (yes my rational argument was thrown out the window, by the infallable female logic and so I resorted to "if you want me to wear it you buy it). She did. It's sh*t though, boil in the bag and too big so I don't wear it.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    OP, does the wife pre-date the cycling or vice versa?

    If the cycling came first she knew what she was getting into and it's recently become a problem. If vice versa, it's feasibly something she's never liked you doing.

    Which one?

    As far as doing dangerous things and concerned partners, my line has always been 'your opinion is interesting but it will have no impact whatsoever on my actions'. Once they realise you're not going to change they give up. Show a chink of weakness and you're farked!

    Compromise much?
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • DonDaddyD wrote:
    OP, does the wife pre-date the cycling or vice versa?

    If the cycling came first she knew what she was getting into and it's recently become a problem. If vice versa, it's feasibly something she's never liked you doing.

    Which one?

    As far as doing dangerous things and concerned partners, my line has always been 'your opinion is interesting but it will have no impact whatsoever on my actions'. Once they realise you're not going to change they give up. Show a chink of weakness and you're farked!

    Compromise much?

    No, no I don't. I do exactly what it says on the tin. Don't see why I should - they either like me or they don't, and 'me' is all of it, including the penchant for dangerous sports.
  • Roastie
    Roastie Posts: 1,968
    My wife rides a lot more than I do, and is far more fearless. If anything, she nags me to get out riding (because I am lazy).
  • R_T_A
    R_T_A Posts: 488
    I don't have problems with the lady wife about cycling, but more about how much money it's costing.

    With the weather this rubbish and parts wearing out, it feels like running a car would be cheaper :evil:
    Giant Escape R1
    FCN 8
    "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
    - Terry Pratchett.
  • Oddjob62
    Oddjob62 Posts: 1,056
    While my legs are screaming to stop, my unsympathetic other half insists that they keep on pedalling :P
    As yet unnamed (Dolan Seta)
    Joelle (Focus Expert SRAM)
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689

    No, no I don't. I do exactly what it says on the tin.
    May I see the tin?
    Don't see why I should - they either like me or they don't, and 'me' is all of it, including the penchant for dangerous sports.

    I was like that. But then I realised that I had to adjust/compromise to to allow for the existence of another person in my life.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • DonDaddyD wrote:

    No, no I don't. I do exactly what it says on the tin.
    May I see the tin?
    Don't see why I should - they either like me or they don't, and 'me' is all of it, including the penchant for dangerous sports.

    I was like that. But then I realised that I had to adjust/compromise to to allow for the existence of another person in my life.

    sure much as I'd like to go on club runs on the few times I had sundays off, I tend not to, as I feel that i don't see my wife that much anyhow.
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    No, no I don't. I do exactly what it says on the tin.
    May I see the tin?
    Don't see why I should - they either like me or they don't, and 'me' is all of it, including the penchant for dangerous sports.

    I was like that. But then I realised that I had to adjust/compromise to to allow for the existence of another person in my life.

    sure much as I'd like to go on club runs on the few times I had sundays off, I tend not to, as I feel that i don't see my wife that much anyhow.

    A man's life is full of sacrifice. I never understood my Dad's moaning about this until I got a car and found that I only drive it on my weekends to do stuff for other people.

    Actually riding my bike on the weekend has become an act of selfishness....
    :cry:
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • A couple people have said about arguments about not wearing a helmet as if they have a valid reason for not wearing one! Gotta ask, why do you guys not wear a lid?! Mine's saved my life at least twice (literally) on the trails, my bro would be a vegetable now if it wasnt for his lid when him n his bike had an argument with a bus. I have a freind we call E-head, not because he enjoys funny little pills, but because he has an "e" shaped scar on his head from having a large peice of his skull removed and then replaced to relieve the pressure that would have killed him after he crashed without a lid.

    As for the problems with the mrs, mine does get a bit worried about me commuting, but is more worried about me when i'm out in the middle of the moors or on the DH trails. I've spent enough years as an at risk road user on motorbikes, mountain bikes and road bikes to be well aware of how vunerable you are at all times and how much more attention you have to pay to everyone else!

    The arguments against wearing a helmet tend to be those of risk compensation & greater chance of rotational injuries. They are summed up here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_he ... helmet_use

    Anyway - I prefer, Shimano, don't jusmp red lights and wear a helmet, and riding fixed gear does not make one discover inner peace.
  • Oh god.
    To be fair, it has been a few weeks since the last round ...
  • teagar
    teagar Posts: 2,100
    Cuts both ways though surely?

    I have this.

    On the one hand you want sympathy when you "almost died" when that bus cut you up, and want your other half to tend to your wounds from that thrown cider bottle that smashed on your toptube, and just generally making out you're so tough going out into the war zone, but then don't want them to worry when you do hop on your bike.

    I want it both ways!

    Alas.
    Note: the above post is an opinion and not fact. It might be a lie.
  • kelsen
    kelsen Posts: 2,003
    Tell her you understand, so you are getting motorcycle lessons instead.

    Unfortunately, I can't use that cos I already have a motorcycle licence :D Haven't been on a motorbike for a few years though, so maybe I can say I'll give up the bicycle for a 600cc version!
    OP, does the wife pre-date the cycling or vice versa?

    If the cycling came first she knew what she was getting into and it's recently become a problem. If vice versa, it's feasibly something she's never liked you doing.

    Which one?

    As far as doing dangerous things and concerned partners, my line has always been 'your opinion is interesting but it will have no impact whatsoever on my actions'. Once they realise you're not going to change they give up. Show a chink of weakness and you're farked!

    Actually, good question! You could say the cycling came about because of the wife. When we were still dating, I moved to London to be near her, and started cycling to avoid the Tube. I agree with you that if you start compromising too much, before you know it, there's a giant thumb looming over your head!

    To be honest, she doesn't make that big a fuss about it. She's just worried about my safety so I asked this question to get everyone's thoughts and maybe put her mind at ease if she reads your comments.

    And I didn't mean this to turn into a helmet debate so let's be friends everyone!
  • NGale
    NGale Posts: 1,866
    It's nice that your other halves should worry about it, it shows they care.

    Jake gets worried when I cycle to work even though I have a grand total of just 100yards actually on the road (the other 7 miles are all off road cycle path) and likewise I get worried about him with his commute from his digs down to the naval base.

    Tis only natural. :)
    Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    My better half persuaded me to give up mountaineering to take up cycling so she's happy that I'm now indulging in a much safer sport 8) :wink:
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    My better half persuaded me to give up mountaineering to take up cycling so she's happy that I'm now indulging in a much safer sport 8) :wink:

    combine the twio?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGkPPyDtWJc

    :shock:
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • bails87
    bails87 Posts: 12,998
    My better half persuaded me to give up mountaineering to take up cycling so she's happy that I'm now indulging in a much safer sport 8) :wink:

    combine the twio?

    Mountain biking surely?
    MTB/CX

    "As I said last time, it won't happen again."
  • biondino
    biondino Posts: 5,990
    Anyway - I prefer Shimano, don't jump red lights and wear a helmet, and riding fixed gear does not make one discover inner peace.

    +1
  • biondino
    biondino Posts: 5,990
    My girlfriend worries and if ever the subject of bike danger is raised she changes it! But she would never for a second stop me riding, and cycling preceded her so it's not something she's had to adjust to. I love that she cares, and feel bad for making her worry, but try not to think about it.
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    My better half persuaded me to give up mountaineering to take up cycling so she's happy that I'm now indulging in a much safer sport 8) :wink:

    combine the twio?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGkPPyDtWJc

    :shock:

    Now that's an idea - must be technically possible to cycle down Ben Nevis - no the peds would get in the way - just don't let Mrs JW see that :wink:
  • fossyant
    fossyant Posts: 2,549
    I changed jobs almost 3 years ago, for a number of reasons, but to be able to get back to bike commuting..... (been working too far away for about 8 years)......

    I warned my wife that this would mean a good chance of being knocked off again... (been there a few times).... she was OK about it and accepted it.....low and behold..18 months into the new commuting...offed big style.....

    I work on a big off every 3 years, commuting or training....seems my average.

    I just don't mention much to her..not worth the worry.