How to piss people off.

bad ass biker 2007
bad ass biker 2007 Posts: 9
edited June 2007 in The Crudcatcher
I found this on google, Could be fun.

<u>HOW TO PISS PEOPLE OFF</u>


Ask people what gender they are.

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

If you have a glass, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Blow your nose when some one is eating.

Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "eat away your food " !

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Name your dog "Dog."

Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Drum on every available surface.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Set alarms for random times.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

only type in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Wear a LOT of cologne.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Never make eye contact.

Never break eye contact.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Take the hotel towel.

Pay tolls with $100 bills.

Practice the art of limp handshakes.

Tell the ending of movies.

Give little kids clothes for their birthdays.

Leave the toilet seat up.

Take more than 10 items to the express checkout lane.

Turn on your brights for oncoming traffic.

Finish other people's crossword puzzles.

Use the last square of toilet paper.

Tailgate the elderly.

Drum your fingers during other people's presentations.

Blow out other people's birthday candles.

Don't leave a message at the beep.

Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the
parking lot.

Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways.

Eat produce at the market; don't buy it.

When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.

Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food
wrappings and those sorts of things.

Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April.

Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures.

See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are
sitting by the window.

Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making
dinner and hotel reservations.

Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

Go up the down escalator.

Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of
lines.

Snap your gum.

Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave
the cap off.

Open umbrellas in crowded hallways.

Announce when you're going to the bathroom.

Read over other people's shoulders on the bus.

When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you.

Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want.

Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower.

Chew other people's pencils.

Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair.

Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces.

Tell teenagers how things were in your day.

Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation.

Pee in the swimming pool.

Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut
in.

Wear large hats during the movies.

Forget the pooper scooper.

Race the old woman for the last bus seat.

Cause gridlock.

Bring 15 things into the dressing room.

Draw mustaches on posters.

Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back.

Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on Thanksgiving.

Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you.

Touch strangers.

Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus.

Bite your dentist's finger.

Fart in cramped places.

Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads.

Don't stand during hymns and anthems.

Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa.

Rubberneck.

Leave pages in the copier.

Be "in conference" all the time.

Don't clean the dryer lint screen.

Buy it, wear it, return it.

Tell people they have bad breath.

Smell smoke often and announce it.

Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet.

Put everyone on speakerphone.

Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you.

Rain on someone's parade.

Make scary faces at babies.

Flirt with a friend's spouse.

Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team.

Pretend you're listening.

Shake with your left hand.

[:)]

Trails n' Trials, its the only way!

MBUK Rules!!!
Trails n\' Trials, its the only way!

MBUK Rules!!!

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