Eating disorders

Tashman

Hello cycling collective.
I'm looking for any first hand advice from anyone that may have had dealings with a young teen with an eating disorder. Where did you find offered the best support for then and yourself. Any pearls of wisdom to help everyone?
Somewhat selfishly I'm mid re-breakdown myself so our home is currently not a happy place and any signposting would be appreciated.

rick_chasey

Mate, really sorry to hear that.

No experience myself (touch wood) but my brother in law had dealt with it a lot with his sister.

From the little I gleaned, he seemed extremely pro professional intervention. His view is that it is too much for the family to take on on their own.

First.Aspect

It's going to depend on their psychology, and you will need guidance from a health professional.

In general terms it is a stress response and a means of asserting or acquiring some individuality or control, at the time of life where they want more of that than they can have.

Not suggesting any blame, but often something in the home is a trigger, with the young person's own insecurities acting as a conduit for how that trigger is processed and manifests. For others it would be violence or addiction or some other type of self harm, for example.

Dealing with it is specialist, potentially none of the treatments will ultimately be from you though.

I would advise seeking advice, and sooner rather than later.

On the one hand your involvement as a parent may be exactly what they need, in that they want your attention. Even if you can't get immediate help, you'll be showing you've noticed. On the other hand, they may well also or alternatively really need someone independent they can confide in, because they may never ever want to show you their inner workings.

It isn't easy, and I hope it's not something that takes root.

Consolation is that the person in question is probably very bright and will probably get through it in the end, and still be very bright.

Hope that helps.

sungod

can only add that a couple i know had their mid-teens daughter had similar

they got professional help, i think the school may have recommended someone, from what they told me it was definitely the right thing to do

must have been 2-3 years ago, i know there was a gradual improvement over time, saw them in the summer, she's doing ok now

Tashman

Thank you both. She's in the system of referral now. I know each individual is different but just trying to see what has helped anyone else who's been/going through it.

ddraver

From personal experience (yup...)

First call is the GP to assess if there are any underlying health issues that need dealing with ASAP

They can make a referral to a number of local mental health services but the reality is that unless they need to go to rehab or are at immediate risk of harming themselves you are going to need to find a private counsellor.

The most important thing here is that the person gets on with and has a god relationship with them. This is not easy to do sadly. Both my sister and I have found online session work just as well as going to someone's office and can be cheaper...

(I am not a parent so I won't even try to give you advice there)

First.Aspect

Tashman said:

Thank you both. She's in the system of referral now. I know each individual is different but just trying to see what has helped anyone else who's been/going through it.

Sounds obvious, but one thing you can do to help is not make it worse.

I observed that criticism and any attempt to wrest back control was counter productive. The person needs to be *exerting* control over their own destiny by choosing to not do things - which depending on the situation, paradoxically they have now lost control of.

Exasperated refrains of. "Just eat it" or similar do not, it turns out, have the desired effect, for example. Or, at least, they don't necessarily result in actual digestion.