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Seriously? Like seriously?

MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
in The cake stop
And next week, how to pump up your tyres......

https://www.bikeradar.com/features/clean-your-bike-in-7-simple-steps/

#slownewsweek
.
The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.

Posts

  • oxomanoxoman Posts: 11,440
    How about how to ride a bike for the 3rd lesson.
    Too many bikes according to Mrs O.
  • First.AspectFirst.Aspect Posts: 12,105
    How to put your cycling shoes on. At least two steps for each foot.
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 10,451
    Considering the amount of cyclists who sit on their saddle wobbling on tip toe when stationary, nothing is too basic.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    First.Aspect said:

    How to put your cycling shoes on. At least two steps for each foot.


    You could make a series of episodes for this:

    Week 1: Doing up Velcro
    Week 2: Doing up laces
    Week 3: Doing up Boa
    Week 4: Undoing Velcro
    Week 5: Undoing laces
    Week 6: Undoing Boa


    #likeNetflix.Butbetter
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • oxomanoxoman Posts: 11,440
    Suspect how to unclip would be popular.
    Too many bikes according to Mrs O.
  • ProssPross Posts: 36,362
    edited December 2020
    MattFalle said:

    First.Aspect said:

    How to put your cycling shoes on. At least two steps for each foot.


    You could make a series of episodes for this:

    Week 1: Doing up Velcro
    Week 2: Doing up laces
    Week 3: Doing up Boa
    Week 4: Undoing Velcro
    Week 5: Undoing laces
    Week 6: Undoing Boa


    #likeNetflix.Butbetter
    It's going to be a censored walking around in cycling shoes for 3 weeks before learning how to undo them again.
  • thistle_thistle_ Posts: 6,900
    MattFalle said:

    And next week, how to pump up your tyres......

    https://www.bikeradar.com/features/clean-your-bike-in-7-simple-steps/

    #slownewsweek

    Does it warn about carbon frames dissolving in soapy water?
  • WheelspinnerWheelspinner Posts: 6,304
    thistle_ said:

    MattFalle said:

    And next week, how to pump up your tyres......

    https://www.bikeradar.com/features/clean-your-bike-in-7-simple-steps/

    #slownewsweek

    Does it warn about carbon frames dissolving in soapy water?
    That’s the advanced course.

    Did you find out where the missing letters went? What did they mean anyway?? I guessed “may not be working”...

    Open O-1.0 Open One+ BMC TE29 Titus Racer X Ti Seven 622SL Kestrel RT1000 On One Scandal Cervelo RS
  • thistle_thistle_ Posts: 6,900
    Wheelspinner said:

    thistle_ said:

    MattFalle said:

    And next week, how to pump up your tyres......

    https://www.bikeradar.com/features/clean-your-bike-in-7-simple-steps/

    #slownewsweek

    Does it warn about carbon frames dissolving in soapy water?
    That’s the advanced course.

    Did you find out where the missing letters went? What did they mean anyway?? I guessed “may not be working”...

    No idea, they left the underscore so that's clearly not worth stealing.
    It was a former club name from way back when so no loss. May not be working sounds better.
  • veronese68veronese68 Posts: 26,294 Lives Here
    thistle_ said:

    Wheelspinner said:

    thistle_ said:

    MattFalle said:

    And next week, how to pump up your tyres......

    https://www.bikeradar.com/features/clean-your-bike-in-7-simple-steps/

    #slownewsweek

    Does it warn about carbon frames dissolving in soapy water?
    That’s the advanced course.

    Did you find out where the missing letters went? What did they mean anyway?? I guessed “may not be working”...

    No idea, they left the underscore so that's clearly not worth stealing.
    It was a former club name from way back when so no loss. May not be working sounds better.
    For some reason I'd just assumed the small screen on my phone was abbreviating it, that wasn't it.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • lincolndavelincolndave Posts: 9,441
    Do you think they will have a feature on how to charge a Garmin
  • thistle_thistle_ Posts: 6,900
    lincolndave said:

    Do you think they will have a feature on how to charge a Garmin

    I could do with one for charging my Garmin watch. When I plug it in, sometimes it charges and sometimes it doesn't and I'd love to know what I'm doing wrong.
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    Its all very cerebral stuff guys and I'm sure a lot of time and effort and planning went into it so maybe we should take it more seriously.

    MF was hoping for a feature on how to fit seat posts into frames or handlebars into stems - you know the trickier side of wrenching your steed in pain cave.

    #technical
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • pblakeneypblakeney Posts: 22,884
    edited December 2020
    MattFalle said:

    Its all very cerebral stuff guys and I'm sure a lot of time and effort and planning went into it so maybe we should take it more seriously.

    MF was hoping for a feature on how to fit seat posts into frames or handlebars into stems - you know the trickier side of wrenching your steed in pain cave.

    #technical

    The trickier issue is usually removing a seat post. 😉
    Carbon frames don't like fire.
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • WheelspinnerWheelspinner Posts: 6,304
    thistle_ said:

    lincolndave said:

    Do you think they will have a feature on how to charge a Garmin

    I could do with one for charging my Garmin watch. When I plug it in, sometimes it charges and sometimes it doesn't and I'd love to know what I'm doing wrong.
    Is it inductive charging, or an actual connector? If latter, check socket for lint. Had an iPhone that started doing the same, to the point it would mostly not charge at all, or just partially at best. Took it to repair shop. They blew the pocket lint out. Fixed.
    Open O-1.0 Open One+ BMC TE29 Titus Racer X Ti Seven 622SL Kestrel RT1000 On One Scandal Cervelo RS
  • ProssPross Posts: 36,362
    Wheelspinner said:

    thistle_ said:

    lincolndave said:

    Do you think they will have a feature on how to charge a Garmin

    I could do with one for charging my Garmin watch. When I plug it in, sometimes it charges and sometimes it doesn't and I'd love to know what I'm doing wrong.
    Is it inductive charging, or an actual connector? If latter, check socket for lint. Had an iPhone that started doing the same, to the point it would mostly not charge at all, or just partially at best. Took it to repair shop. They blew the pocket lint out. Fixed.
    Most Garmin watches use a sort of crocodile clip with several contact teeth. Older models could be a pain to line up properly but even on my current one I had to replace the cable as it just stopped working for no obvious reason. They're a terrible system.
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    pblakeney said:

    MattFalle said:

    Its all very cerebral stuff guys and I'm sure a lot of time and effort and planning went into it so maybe we should take it more seriously.

    MF was hoping for a feature on how to fit seat posts into frames or handlebars into stems - you know the trickier side of wrenching your steed in pain cave.

    #technical

    The trickier issue is usually removing a seat post. 😉
    Carbon frames don't like fire.
    undo m5/m4 bolt on the clamp.

    slide seat post out.

    voila.

    there, that's 5 minutes of video time or 4 hours of clubbie talk in 12 words

    #slideitout
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • pblakeneypblakeney Posts: 22,884
    MattFalle said:

    pblakeney said:

    MattFalle said:

    Its all very cerebral stuff guys and I'm sure a lot of time and effort and planning went into it so maybe we should take it more seriously.

    MF was hoping for a feature on how to fit seat posts into frames or handlebars into stems - you know the trickier side of wrenching your steed in pain cave.

    #technical

    The trickier issue is usually removing a seat post. 😉
    Carbon frames don't like fire.
    undo m5/m4 bolt on the clamp.

    slide seat post out.

    voila.

    there, that's 5 minutes of video time or 4 hours of clubbie talk in 12 words

    #slideitout
    That's the theory. Try it after a few years of use. 😉
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • First.AspectFirst.Aspect Posts: 12,105
    Is it time for a "10 things they don't tell you about cycling" story?

    1. You don't wear underwear under your shorts
    2. You actually need to clip in to "clipless" pedals
    3. etc.
  • oxomanoxoman Posts: 11,440
    Good idea, add how to change gears to the list as well.
    Too many bikes according to Mrs O.
  • MattFalleMattFalle Posts: 11,644
    pblakeney said:

    MattFalle said:

    pblakeney said:

    MattFalle said:

    Its all very cerebral stuff guys and I'm sure a lot of time and effort and planning went into it so maybe we should take it more seriously.

    MF was hoping for a feature on how to fit seat posts into frames or handlebars into stems - you know the trickier side of wrenching your steed in pain cave.

    #technical

    The trickier issue is usually removing a seat post. 😉
    Carbon frames don't like fire.
    undo m5/m4 bolt on the clamp.

    slide seat post out.

    voila.

    there, that's 5 minutes of video time or 4 hours of clubbie talk in 12 words

    #slideitout
    That's the theory. Try it after a few years of use. 😉
    Always been fine with MFs bikes

    Perhaps he should make a video

    #videography

    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • First.AspectFirst.Aspect Posts: 12,105
    oxoman said:

    Good idea, add how to change gears to the list as well.

    https://www.bicycling.com/training/a20004265/how-to-shift/
  • joe_totale-2joe_totale-2 Posts: 1,333
    oxoman said:

    Good idea, add how to change gears to the list as well.

    It always makes me laugh when reviews of 1x drivetrains harp on about how easy it is to use, yeah cause 2x drivetrains are so difficult and require a masters degree to operate properly...
  • oxomanoxoman Posts: 11,440
    I've got a triple tourer so what do get for that. Professorship.
    Too many bikes according to Mrs O.
  • pblakeneypblakeney Posts: 22,884
    oxoman said:

    Good idea, add how to change gears to the list as well.

    I had to explain to someone once that changing to the big ring for going uphill and small ring for downhill was an "unusual technique". 🤔
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • joe_totale-2joe_totale-2 Posts: 1,333
    oxoman said:

    I've got a triple tourer so what do get for that. Professorship.

    I'd pop that in your CV next time you apply for a job at CERN.
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