Mid life crisis/change of jobs/inspiration thread

mpatts

Afternoon all.

I feel on the cusp of a change of direction. A general sense of 'meh' has led to a sense that I need to move on, career wise that is. I do recognise that I have a relatively secure job which isn't coal mining or anything, and I see the risk in this but not the reward.

So, I need your stories, good, bad and different.

bompington

Most guys here just buy another bike

First.Aspect

What do you do now and what do you think you would be qualified to do instead? Also, how old are you, roughly?

I made a few early career changes, which would have been mid career by some measures.

Pross

I suspect a lot of us have thought similar and would like to move into a more 'lifestyle' job but in most cases the reality is that unless you are already in a fairly low paid job or can get something where your existing qualifications and experience are of assistance you are probably going to have to take a significant financial hit.

surrey_commuter

yep most people make these decisions when they are already loaded or have been canned so no downside.

advice I read elsewhere was to live on a budget equal to your proposed new job and see how it feels.

if striking out on your own do as much prep as possible whilst on somebody else's payroll.

beware suggesting other jobs that you see as a soft touch as others on here may already be doing them and see life differently. This may be good as it will give you an insight.

and consider the impact on your pension

dg74

I’ve wrapped in the NHS after 17 years after it took a hell of a lot out of me physically & mentally.

Swapped over to my (hopefully) new career as train driver which I start on Monday.

At 46 it’s a big step.

shirley_basso

I'm in a similar boat and was wondering about posting here about it.

I am not sure how I got into the situation, but I think it's a combination of being the only person from my team in my office, (others work in London), new baby and sharing childcare with my wife and also a slight change from what I was doing before, which due to the wrong attitude has meant I haven't picked it up as quickly as I should have, and now I find myself struggling with my performance - and lockdown has made it worse as I haven't got colleagues I can easily ask for advice - as in, speak to the guy sitting next to you.

Mentally I am fine, but performance wise, well below par and where I should be. I have a fantastic job but find myself unable to progress and my peers are starting to leave me behind.

I am looking at a slight career change but really I want a bit of a shirt, but also looking at doing the same in a less prestigious firm and see what happens.

I am in a slightly crap position as I am having to leave (before I am pushed).

It's been a heck of a wakeup call.

dg74

oxoman said:

Decided at 53 fed up of days and nights and corporate BS so now work a 4 on 4 off day shift with no BS and able to switch off once i leave. I also went N+1. 2yrs of relatively easy paced work and potentially looking at slowing down further as no mortgage. Just need youngest to finish school and college and I can relax even more. Currently in a position I'd be happy to work PT.

You sound like you also worked for the NHS ambulance service

orraloon

SB never leave before you are pushed, always leave with a package. Speaking as one who took exit £ deals 4 times over the course of a varied, multiple position corporates and consultants career. I never was suited for the corporate life, my happiest times were as a contractor, straight exchange as in I do this job, you pay me x, no BS. There is always a deal there, make sure you get it.

I finally jacked that life at 50, had enough both £ and of the BS, took a gap year and became a happy gardener. Eventually you find what is right for you.

shirley_basso

Orraloon - it's hard to describe but I work for one of the best firms in the country (world?) for what I do which was a bit of a happy accident. I moved from a similar role but suddenly I find the day jobs chalk and cheese and now I seem unable to progress.

In short I was asked to leave and offered a kind, but not amazing package. I rejected it and chose to stick it out and see if I could up my game - which I have done, but not enough (the bar is deliberately set almost impossibly high in these situations).

It's been an excellent learning experience for me both personally and professionally but also means that as I haven't done enough, it's either being booted without a reference or I choose to leave with the usual 3 months notice. Unfortunately there is no option to do a contractor role or any other negotiations. I can't afford a blemish on my CV.

I've had some calls with recruiters over the last 2 weeks and there are things out there, which is promising. I need to keep working on my skills while in the market and continue the self-improvement.

surrey_commuter

dg74 said:

I’ve wrapped in the NHS after 17 years after it took a hell of a lot out of me physically & mentally.

Swapped over to my (hopefully) new career as train driver which I start on Monday.

At 46 it’s a big step.

Congratulations - I thought that 1,000 people applied for train driver jobs and then it went to Bob Crow’s nephew.

First.Aspect

shirley_basso said:

I'm in a similar boat and was wondering about posting here about it.

I am not sure how I got into the situation, but I think it's a combination of being the only person from my team in my office, (others work in London), new baby and sharing childcare with my wife and also a slight change from what I was doing before, which due to the wrong attitude has meant I haven't picked it up as quickly as I should have, and now I find myself struggling with my performance - and lockdown has made it worse as I haven't got colleagues I can easily ask for advice - as in, speak to the guy sitting next to you.

Mentally I am fine, but performance wise, well below par and where I should be. I have a fantastic job but find myself unable to progress and my peers are starting to leave me behind.

I am looking at a slight career change but really I want a bit of a shirt, but also looking at doing the same in a less prestigious firm and see what happens.

I am in a slightly censored position as I am having to leave (before I am pushed).

It's been a heck of a wakeup call.

Sounds awful. I've been the only guy who knows what I do in a team before now and it can be crappy. You just get blamed for telling people what they don't want to hear, but who don't accept why.

In any crappy job situation, getting out of it can be like lancing a boil.

surrey_commuter

orraloon said:

SB never leave before you are pushed, always leave with a package. Speaking as one who took exit £ deals 4 times over the course of a varied, multiple position corporates and consultants career. I never was suited for the corporate life, my happiest times were as a contractor, straight exchange as in I do this job, you pay me x, no BS. There is always a deal there, make sure you get it.

I finally jacked that life at 50, had enough both £ and of the BS, took a gap year and became a happy gardener. Eventually you find what is right for you.

My expectation is that I will get canned in the next couple of years with a good package, get another job for a year or so off the back of this one before setting up myself. I feel with screwing the tax man I will only need to earn half of what I do.

I flit between ideas but at the moment am attracted by the 90% margins in running a coffee cart. It is a kind of release to scope out vehicles and consider pitches.

A young bloke took over an egg stall down the market and sells 3,000 eggs a day. That gets you thinking.

shirley_basso

First.Aspect said:

shirley_basso said:

I'm in a similar boat and was wondering about posting here about it.

I am not sure how I got into the situation, but I think it's a combination of being the only person from my team in my office, (others work in London), new baby and sharing childcare with my wife and also a slight change from what I was doing before, which due to the wrong attitude has meant I haven't picked it up as quickly as I should have, and now I find myself struggling with my performance - and lockdown has made it worse as I haven't got colleagues I can easily ask for advice - as in, speak to the guy sitting next to you.

Mentally I am fine, but performance wise, well below par and where I should be. I have a fantastic job but find myself unable to progress and my peers are starting to leave me behind.

I am looking at a slight career change but really I want a bit of a shirt, but also looking at doing the same in a less prestigious firm and see what happens.

I am in a slightly censored position as I am having to leave (before I am pushed).

It's been a heck of a wakeup call.

Sounds awful. I've been the only guy who knows what I do in a team before now and it can be crappy. You just get blamed for telling people what they don't want to hear, but who don't accept why.

In any crappy job situation, getting out of it can be like lancing a boil.

My situation is the opposite. I sort of know what I am doing but not well enough to work alone, and not being around the other team means I haven't learned as quickly as i should have. I'd been cruising and have been found wanting.

It's my fault but I've only just realised why.

First.Aspect

surrey_commuter said:

yep most people make these decisions when they are already loaded or have been canned so no downside.

advice I read elsewhere was to live on a budget equal to your proposed new job and see how it feels.

if striking out on your own do as much prep as possible whilst on somebody else's payroll.

beware suggesting other jobs that you see as a soft touch as others on here may already be doing them and see life differently. This may be good as it will give you an insight.

and consider the impact on your pension

There's also the "before it's too late" moves.

I was on the PhD -> academia before I figured that I wasn't very good at that, went into R&D, hated it. Not really sure why. Because it was more polishing a tur-d than science, I think. But I can still feel the attraction of both.

I eventually retrained entirely from my mid 30s
It was *just* in time.

But what I would say is that there are doors you can't walk back through. Good job I am fairly well suited to what I'm doing now, but it was a heck of a risk.

thegreatdivide

Spent a couple of decades in the music business Dj’ing all over the place, making music, running record labels and promoting events and I had a really brilliant time, but I could see the ar$e begin to fall out of it and started to look at other avenues. I’m now a business analyst and I mostly work three days a week (pretty much non stop) with a small team of great guys, and then I decompress for the other four. Depending on what needs done I can end up with up to six days off. Ideal for someone who likes cycling! I still run a couple of record labels, but it’s more of a hobby than a business.

shirley_basso

That's interesting TGD.

dg74

surrey_commuter said:

dg74 said:

I’ve wrapped in the NHS after 17 years after it took a hell of a lot out of me physically & mentally.

Swapped over to my (hopefully) new career as train driver which I start on Monday.

At 46 it’s a big step.

Congratulations - I thought that 1,000 people applied for train driver jobs and then it went to Bob Crow’s nephew.

it’s only taken 2 years of saying I know Bob Crow....

mpatts

First.Aspect said:

What do you do now and what do you think you would be qualified to do instead? Also, how old are you, roughly?

I made a few early career changes, which would have been mid career by some measures.

44. Tech/leadership job - exec level. Very employable in that respect.

What I really want to do is something more 'cerebral' and less 'corporate BS'. I love building teams that do interesting stuff, and have a bit of a flair for that, but the things that often one is required to do I find very stressful (managing up, towing the line, etc etc etc) - and I find some of the people at my level tiring to the point that I don't want to talk to them. Its a bit of a negative spiral because, in reality, they are all Ok and just doing the best with what they know, and its judgmental of me to think otherwise.

I've long thought (and been asked a few times) that a switch to advisory/management consultancy would suit bits of my experience, but I think this might be a really bad trade as - honestly - i am a home bird and I don't like travel.

I think - if I'm honest with myself - I'm a bit burnt out. Lockdown has been good for me (I know not for everyone) in a health respect, lost 5kg, eating and sleeping better, and saw an almost instant 10hbpm resting heart rate drop.

So in essence, what I really want to do is cook, garden, ride my bike, write books and my blog full time, at current salary, and on the side scale my 'save the world' environmental consultancy to the point that it does actually save the world. Which I think might be impossibly unrealistic because - if I admit it to myself - I'm a slave to the wage, not for material stuff (recently got rid of my car, for example), but so I can look after my family.

So all of the above really is why I was looking for some inspirational stories, rather than advice.

First.Aspect

mpatts said:

First.Aspect said:

What do you do now and what do you think you would be qualified to do instead? Also, how old are you, roughly?

I made a few early career changes, which would have been mid career by some measures.

44. Tech/leadership job - exec level. Very employable in that respect.

What I really want to do is something more 'cerebral' and less 'corporate BS'. I love building teams that do interesting stuff, and have a bit of a flair for that, but the things that often one is required to do I find very stressful (managing up, towing the line, etc etc etc) - and I find some of the people at my level tiring to the point that I don't want to talk to them. Its a bit of a negative spiral because, in reality, they are all Ok and just doing the best with what they know, and its judgmental of me to think otherwise.

I've long thought (and been asked a few times) that a switch to advisory/management consultancy would suit bits of my experience, but I think this might be a really bad trade as - honestly - i am a home bird and I don't like travel.

I think - if I'm honest with myself - I'm a bit burnt out. Lockdown has been good for me (I know not for everyone) in a health respect, lost 5kg, eating and sleeping better, and saw an almost instant 10hbpm resting heart rate drop.

So in essence, what I really want to do is cook, garden, ride my bike, write books and my blog full time, at current salary, and on the side scale my 'save the world' environmental consultancy to the point that it does actually save the world. Which I think might be impossibly unrealistic because - if I admit it to myself - I'm a slave to the wage, not for material stuff (recently got rid of my car, for example), but so I can look after my family.

So all of the above really is why I was looking for some inspirational stories, rather than advice.

"Same salary" is possibly not realistic. But a lot of the rest looks to me like the sort of thing that academics get into. Thought about semi-independent centres associated with universities, or spinouts/SMEs floating around campuses or science parks? If there's one skill in scarce supply in those settings, it is good project management.

Either that or enter Masterchef.

mpatts

First.Aspect said:

mpatts said:

First.Aspect said:

What do you do now and what do you think you would be qualified to do instead? Also, how old are you, roughly?

I made a few early career changes, which would have been mid career by some measures.

44. Tech/leadership job - exec level. Very employable in that respect.

What I really want to do is something more 'cerebral' and less 'corporate BS'. I love building teams that do interesting stuff, and have a bit of a flair for that, but the things that often one is required to do I find very stressful (managing up, towing the line, etc etc etc) - and I find some of the people at my level tiring to the point that I don't want to talk to them. Its a bit of a negative spiral because, in reality, they are all Ok and just doing the best with what they know, and its judgmental of me to think otherwise.

I've long thought (and been asked a few times) that a switch to advisory/management consultancy would suit bits of my experience, but I think this might be a really bad trade as - honestly - i am a home bird and I don't like travel.

I think - if I'm honest with myself - I'm a bit burnt out. Lockdown has been good for me (I know not for everyone) in a health respect, lost 5kg, eating and sleeping better, and saw an almost instant 10hbpm resting heart rate drop.

So in essence, what I really want to do is cook, garden, ride my bike, write books and my blog full time, at current salary, and on the side scale my 'save the world' environmental consultancy to the point that it does actually save the world. Which I think might be impossibly unrealistic because - if I admit it to myself - I'm a slave to the wage, not for material stuff (recently got rid of my car, for example), but so I can look after my family.

So all of the above really is why I was looking for some inspirational stories, rather than advice.

"Same salary" is possibly not realistic. But a lot of the rest looks to me like the sort of thing that academics get into. Thought about semi-independent centres associated with universities, or spinouts/SMEs floating around campuses or science parks? If there's one skill in scarce supply in those settings, it is good project management.

Either that or enter Masterchef.

I hadn't actually - that's a good shout, and I happen to live v near Cranfield and the OU.

What makes you make the good project management comment? I ask as I ended up here through projects (support --> training --> Project Manager --> Senior PM --> Programme Manager --> Programme Director --> Head of Projects). My Head of projects job had a couple of hundred PM's and over £100m budget. I probably don't appreciate that there aren't many people with experience at this scale.

rick_chasey

If it makes you feel better SB, taking a step back, you're in a career and industry, where the floor is fairly high.

If you are interested in caring less about the status of being with a 'top' firm (for some people it is a big kick, and I get that), it can open up a world of roles where you get paid almost as much, but without the same stress, albeit without the status.

surrey_commuter

mpatts said:

First.Aspect said:

mpatts said:

First.Aspect said:

What do you do now and what do you think you would be qualified to do instead? Also, how old are you, roughly?

I made a few early career changes, which would have been mid career by some measures.

44. Tech/leadership job - exec level. Very employable in that respect.

What I really want to do is something more 'cerebral' and less 'corporate BS'. I love building teams that do interesting stuff, and have a bit of a flair for that, but the things that often one is required to do I find very stressful (managing up, towing the line, etc etc etc) - and I find some of the people at my level tiring to the point that I don't want to talk to them. Its a bit of a negative spiral because, in reality, they are all Ok and just doing the best with what they know, and its judgmental of me to think otherwise.

I've long thought (and been asked a few times) that a switch to advisory/management consultancy would suit bits of my experience, but I think this might be a really bad trade as - honestly - i am a home bird and I don't like travel.

I think - if I'm honest with myself - I'm a bit burnt out. Lockdown has been good for me (I know not for everyone) in a health respect, lost 5kg, eating and sleeping better, and saw an almost instant 10hbpm resting heart rate drop.

So in essence, what I really want to do is cook, garden, ride my bike, write books and my blog full time, at current salary, and on the side scale my 'save the world' environmental consultancy to the point that it does actually save the world. Which I think might be impossibly unrealistic because - if I admit it to myself - I'm a slave to the wage, not for material stuff (recently got rid of my car, for example), but so I can look after my family.

So all of the above really is why I was looking for some inspirational stories, rather than advice.

"Same salary" is possibly not realistic. But a lot of the rest looks to me like the sort of thing that academics get into. Thought about semi-independent centres associated with universities, or spinouts/SMEs floating around campuses or science parks? If there's one skill in scarce supply in those settings, it is good project management.

Either that or enter Masterchef.

I hadn't actually - that's a good shout, and I happen to live v near Cranfield and the OU.

What makes you make the good project management comment? I ask as I ended up here through projects (support --> training --> Project Manager --> Senior PM --> Programme Manager --> Programme Director --> Head of Projects). My Head of projects job had a couple of hundred PM's and over £100m budget. I probably don't appreciate that there aren't many people with experience at this scale.

ex-Girlfriend was mid-office on a trading floor and hated the corporate BS and managing people and went consulting and absolutely loved it. Scary at first as the lead times were so short but got used to it. I know they tightened the rules but she paid a lot less tax so need to climb the greasy pole

rjsterry

mpatts said:

First.Aspect said:

What do you do now and what do you think you would be qualified to do instead? Also, how old are you, roughly?

I made a few early career changes, which would have been mid career by some measures.

44. Tech/leadership job - exec level. Very employable in that respect.

What I really want to do is something more 'cerebral' and less 'corporate BS'. I love building teams that do interesting stuff, and have a bit of a flair for that, but the things that often one is required to do I find very stressful (managing up, towing the line, etc etc etc) - and I find some of the people at my level tiring to the point that I don't want to talk to them. Its a bit of a negative spiral because, in reality, they are all Ok and just doing the best with what they know, and its judgmental of me to think otherwise.

I've long thought (and been asked a few times) that a switch to advisory/management consultancy would suit bits of my experience, but I think this might be a really bad trade as - honestly - i am a home bird and I don't like travel.

I think - if I'm honest with myself - I'm a bit burnt out. Lockdown has been good for me (I know not for everyone) in a health respect, lost 5kg, eating and sleeping better, and saw an almost instant 10hbpm resting heart rate drop.

So in essence, what I really want to do is cook, garden, ride my bike, write books and my blog full time, at current salary, and on the side scale my 'save the world' environmental consultancy to the point that it does actually save the world. Which I think might be impossibly unrealistic because - if I admit it to myself - I'm a slave to the wage, not for material stuff (recently got rid of my car, for example), but so I can look after my family.

So all of the above really is why I was looking for some inspirational stories, rather than advice.

Exactly what sort of environmental consultancy do you have in mind?

I don't know if it's inspirational or just a bit mad but I know of someone retraining in veterinary medicine in their 40s. They also managed to raise all the money to cover the course fees by applying to various funds and trusts.

TheBigBean

surrey_commuter said:

orraloon said:

SB never leave before you are pushed, always leave with a package. Speaking as one who took exit £ deals 4 times over the course of a varied, multiple position corporates and consultants career. I never was suited for the corporate life, my happiest times were as a contractor, straight exchange as in I do this job, you pay me x, no BS. There is always a deal there, make sure you get it.

I finally jacked that life at 50, had enough both £ and of the BS, took a gap year and became a happy gardener. Eventually you find what is right for you.

My expectation is that I will get canned in the next couple of years with a good package, get another job for a year or so off the back of this one before setting up myself. I feel with screwing the tax man I will only need to earn half of what I do.

I flit between ideas but at the moment am attracted by the 90% margins in running a coffee cart. It is a kind of release to scope out vehicles and consider pitches.

A young bloke took over an egg stall down the market and sells 3,000 eggs a day. That gets you thinking.

My cunning idea is massively overpriced soft play that sells similiarly overpriced coffee. I was staggered just how much the wealthy would pay for kids entertainment.

First.Aspect

mpatts said:

First.Aspect said:

mpatts said:

First.Aspect said:

What do you do now and what do you think you would be qualified to do instead? Also, how old are you, roughly?

I made a few early career changes, which would have been mid career by some measures.

44. Tech/leadership job - exec level. Very employable in that respect.

What I really want to do is something more 'cerebral' and less 'corporate BS'. I love building teams that do interesting stuff, and have a bit of a flair for that, but the things that often one is required to do I find very stressful (managing up, towing the line, etc etc etc) - and I find some of the people at my level tiring to the point that I don't want to talk to them. Its a bit of a negative spiral because, in reality, they are all Ok and just doing the best with what they know, and its judgmental of me to think otherwise.

I've long thought (and been asked a few times) that a switch to advisory/management consultancy would suit bits of my experience, but I think this might be a really bad trade as - honestly - i am a home bird and I don't like travel.

I think - if I'm honest with myself - I'm a bit burnt out. Lockdown has been good for me (I know not for everyone) in a health respect, lost 5kg, eating and sleeping better, and saw an almost instant 10hbpm resting heart rate drop.

So in essence, what I really want to do is cook, garden, ride my bike, write books and my blog full time, at current salary, and on the side scale my 'save the world' environmental consultancy to the point that it does actually save the world. Which I think might be impossibly unrealistic because - if I admit it to myself - I'm a slave to the wage, not for material stuff (recently got rid of my car, for example), but so I can look after my family.

So all of the above really is why I was looking for some inspirational stories, rather than advice.

"Same salary" is possibly not realistic. But a lot of the rest looks to me like the sort of thing that academics get into. Thought about semi-independent centres associated with universities, or spinouts/SMEs floating around campuses or science parks? If there's one skill in scarce supply in those settings, it is good project management.

Either that or enter Masterchef.

I hadn't actually - that's a good shout, and I happen to live v near Cranfield and the OU.

What makes you make the good project management comment? I ask as I ended up here through projects (support --> training --> Project Manager --> Senior PM --> Programme Manager --> Programme Director --> Head of Projects). My Head of projects job had a couple of hundred PM's and over £100m budget. I probably don't appreciate that there aren't many people with experience at this scale.

Academics can't manage their way out of a wet paper bag, in the main.

Doesn't matter if it's people, money, or time.

Here in Scotland there's a small community of serial exec directors and non exec directors steering SMEs spun out of universities. Because the "brains" behind it all simply can't.

Someone who can juggle whatever it takes to juggle a £100M budget? Different class.

The flip side about academics is that they care.

A lot.

And that passion is contagious. Same with anyone who is at the sharp end of an SME. Takes big balls to run an SME, you know.

In my job, as a patent attorney, these clients are a big time sink, so not good for the bottom line. But boy oh boy do you live vicariously, because it really matters.

slowmart

I took redundancy and leave my current role at the end of the month. The payout wasn’t great but the future and prospects for the business looked grim and for the first time in my career and returning to employee status I really loath my current job, culture and shocking ineptitude of senior managers. It’s jaw dropping.

So the day after I finish I start working in a community bike shop they’ll upskill me while I work for free. The place has a fantastic vibe and I’m looking forward to starting a new career.

We are comfortable but not to the point where I can stop earning, Ive built and ran two small businesses and I’m already looking to branch out on my own ( I’m 53 and as there is no queue outside my front door offering roles) so I need to make this happen myself. Which feels great.

I bought a small business many years ago for the sole reason of creating something special where people could come to work, do a good job and be proud of what we created.

So 14 years after buying my first business I’m starting again. Much smaller, no personal guarantees , no debt just some plans that are starting to crystallise. I’m under no illusion of the hard yards in front of me but I’ve got the support of a wonderful family and I’ve always been a resilient git.

And after some challenging years I’m starting to remember the future is in each of our own hands, it’s never the right time to start a business and prevarication kills innovation. Operating outside comfort zones is rewarding, makes you think differently and gives you an extra gear when interesting situations occur.

Mad_Malx

On Sept 1st I took voluntary exit after 29 years with my employer. I had long planned leaving at 60, which is autumn next year, so this way I get an extra year to do what I like. All happened very suddenly, but with no debt, ok savings and pension, and the prospect of shouting at the computer screen for the next 6 months, I didn’t hesitate.

None of which is much help to the OP. Very much depends on your age, commitments and attitude to risk given your skill set. I very much recognise the feeling of ‘meh’. There were a few times I looked at other things and got someway down the line after being approached by recruiters in a different arena, but in the end took the easy option and stayed put. I’ll never know where a different path would have taken me, but I’m very happy with the way things have turned out.

surrey_commuter

Congratulations Max, not many retire in their ‘50s any more.

I do think that if changing direction it is worth considering your target retirement age and income you will need then and to get you there.

It has been discussed on here how amazed people are at how expenditure dropped in lockdown then think what that would look like with no mortgage and kids off the books. Downsizing the house could save you thousands a year.

Cargobike

Marry a woman "from money".
Worked for me

veronese68

Cargobike said:

Marry a woman "from money".
Worked for me

Bit late for that now