Comments section bingo

hantstooflat
hantstooflat Posts: 122
edited June 2018 in The cake stop
Thinking of article comments sections e.g. Have Your Say on the BBC site... If you had to design a "Comments Section Bingo" card, which common cycling related phrases/statements/hate speech should be on there?

I'll get a few of the more obvious ones out of the way:

"They don't pay taxes"
"They all run red lights"
"They should all have number plates"

Bonus points if you can come up with any commonly positive ones/commonly seen counter arguments (that may or may not help).

Inspired by a comments section about Sam Bennett bringing out the anti-cyclist comments.
“Jij bent niet van suiker gemaakt”

Comments

  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,406
    "No such thing as Road Tax"
    "Always on the pavements"
  • figbat
    figbat Posts: 680
    "MAMIL"
    Cube Reaction GTC Pro 29 for the lumpy stuff
    Cannondale Synapse alloy with 'guards for the winter roads
    Fuji Altamira 2.7 for the summer roads
    Trek 830 Mountain Track frame turned into a gravel bike - for anywhere & everywhere
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 25,977
    Insurance.
    Licenses.
    Self righteous.
    Helmets.
    Lights.
    Hi Viz.
    Should be on bike paths.
    Shouldn't be on the road.
    Shouldn't be on the pavement.
    No signals.
    ...
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • Mad_Malx
    Mad_Malx Posts: 5,018
    Lycra
    Sweaty
    2 abreast
    Middle of the lane
    Bells (lack of)
    Bells (using in an aggressive manner)
    We are not Dutch
    Too hilly in my town
    Too wet in uk
    Almost an accident
  • sadlybiggins
    sadlybiggins Posts: 158
    Sick and tired of all cyclists [insert favourite complaint]
    I was nearly run over the other day by a cyclist on the pavement/running a red light/on the road/because he didn't have a bell on his TT rig etc
  • thegreatdivide
    thegreatdivide Posts: 5,804
    These Lycra clad louts!
  • Mad_Malx
    Mad_Malx Posts: 5,018
    If I can do a 50 mile commute than so should everyone
    I'm allowed to ride down the middle of the road at 5mph even though there is a perfectly good empty cycle route alongside
    Everyone that isn't me
    I'm entitled to cycle like a knob through a crowded shopping street

    Why are so many British so self-centred? The overwhelming reason why mixed urban cycling works in European cities is because cyclists and peds are willing to share the space and adjust behaviour accordingly. Here it always seems to end up in conflict.
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 25,977
    Mad_Malx wrote:
    Why are so many British so self-centred? ... Here it always seems to end up in conflict.
    Take a look at the history books.
    We don't do peace too well.
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,952
    It's healthy
    Keyboard warrior
    When I was a kid, the police would arrest you for that.
    What do they think they look like?
    I'm going to sprinkle tacks on the road.


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,412
    PBlakeney wrote:
    Mad_Malx wrote:
    Why are so many British so self-centred? ... Here it always seems to end up in conflict.
    Take a look at the history books.
    We don't do peace too well.
    Don't need history books, what got us into the clusterfuck we're in now?
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 73,082
    I’ve had 20 relatives killed by overgrown men on their bikes going as fast as 10mph on the pavement.

    They are so annoying they should be off the road. Modern life is distracting enough looking for speed cameras to slow down for and tweeting pictures of tw@t cyclists riding two abreast; it’s not even allowed!

    Do I win a prize?
  • Ben6899
    Ben6899 Posts: 9,686
    "Lycra"
    "Nazi"
    "Lycra Nazi"
    "Bradley Wiggins"
    "Tour de France"
    "We pay for them and they don't have the decency to use them"
    "Enoch Powell was right!"
    Ben

    Bikes: Donhou DSS4 Custom | Condor Italia RC | Gios Megalite | Dolan Preffisio | Giant Bowery '76
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ben_h_ppcc/
    Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/143173475@N05/
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 27,883
    I’ve had 20 relatives killed by overgrown men on their bikes going as fast as 10mph on the pavement.

    They are so annoying they should be off the road. Modern life is distracting enough looking for speed cameras to slow down for and tweeting pictures of tw@t cyclists riding two abreast; it’s not even allowed!

    Do I win a prize?

    I can't actually tell if that's made up or not.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • laurentian
    laurentian Posts: 2,399
    Road Lice
    Wilier Izoard XP
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,952
    "two tonnes of metal"

    (not many cars weigh that, but that's the often quoted figure)


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • "Motorists have to obey the law and if they don't they get fined. Cyclists always get away with it."

    "The day is coming when cyclists will be banned from the roads". (Source - Cambridge News, from a regular anti cycling bigot who can't tell the difference between what he'd like to happen and reality).
  • florerider
    florerider Posts: 1,112
    You paid how much for that bike, you could buy a car for that.
  • darkhairedlord
    darkhairedlord Posts: 7,180
    Smug as an imac owner
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 40,993
    One I've just read commenting on a cyclists being knocked out by string across a cycleway:-

    "It should be treated as attempted manslaughter"!
  • We used to do Cycling Proficiency when I was a kid. They should bring that back.
    [Usually shortly followed by ...]
    Err, try googling Bikeability.

    Or

    They're allowed on the road without having to do any training.
    [Usually followed by ...]
    Car drivers don't have to do any training / Doesn't stop car drivers killing 2,000 people each year in the UK / Most adult cyclists have a full driving licence

    Or

    He wasn't wearing a helmet. It would have been his fault if I'd knocked him off and given him brain damage.
    Never be tempted to race against a Barclays Cycle Hire bike. If you do, there are only two outcomes. Of these, by far the better is that you now have the scalp of a Boris Bike.