Desert Island Discs

mouth

Recently discovered podcasts - long dog walks and a lack of decent contemporary music led to this. Richard Herring, Matt Forde and Desert Island are the current favourites.

It surprises me somewhat that no guest so far has chosen to take a lifetime supply of condoms as their luxury. I want other peoples thoughts before I divulge my reasons so I can decide if I'm barking up the wrong tree or not.

Discuss.

shortfall

You're on a desert island, just go bareback and fvck everything in sight, including the goats.

mouth

My thinking is more along the lines of their practical uses allayed to things other than getting some. They'd make a decent water carrier - I believe they're tested to hold about 7 litres, storage - at least to some degree - of anything fresh you find (airtight once tied off), use them as string or for tying things together, perhaps a hat in heavy rainfall, and possibly their most pertinent property of buoyancy - that'd be ideal for raft building.Failing all of that, they'd make a wicked replacement for fingerless gloves.

Perhaps I'm overthinking things.

shortfall

Hmmmm. I see where you're going with this now. How about doing balloon art with them to impress the local women who will be so impressed that their grass skirts will fall off all by themselves?

mamba80

Mouth wrote:

My thinking is more along the lines of their practical uses allayed to things other than getting some. They'd make a decent water carrier - I believe they're tested to hold about 7 litres, storage - at least to some degree - of anything fresh you find (airtight once tied off), use them as string or for tying things together, perhaps a hat in heavy rainfall, and possibly their most pertinent property of buoyancy - that'd be ideal for raft building.Failing all of that, they'd make a wicked replacement for fingerless gloves.

Perhaps I'm overthinking things.

i think Shortfall fell head long into your Bear Trap

shortfall

mamba80 wrote:

Mouth wrote:

My thinking is more along the lines of their practical uses allayed to things other than getting some. They'd make a decent water carrier - I believe they're tested to hold about 7 litres, storage - at least to some degree - of anything fresh you find (airtight once tied off), use them as string or for tying things together, perhaps a hat in heavy rainfall, and possibly their most pertinent property of buoyancy - that'd be ideal for raft building.Failing all of that, they'd make a wicked replacement for fingerless gloves.

Perhaps I'm overthinking things.

i think Shortfall fell head long into your Bear Trap

Not so fast Mamba! Obviously the balloon art can be fashioned cunningly into animal shapes which will act as decoys and lure unsuspecting beasts which you can then trap and eat (or have sex with if the women don't succumb to your efforts at impressing them).

mamba80

Shortfall wrote:

mamba80 wrote:

Mouth wrote:

My thinking is more along the lines of their practical uses allayed to things other than getting some. They'd make a decent water carrier - I believe they're tested to hold about 7 litres, storage - at least to some degree - of anything fresh you find (airtight once tied off), use them as string or for tying things together, perhaps a hat in heavy rainfall, and possibly their most pertinent property of buoyancy - that'd be ideal for raft building.Failing all of that, they'd make a wicked replacement for fingerless gloves.

Perhaps I'm overthinking things.

i think Shortfall fell head long into your Bear Trap

Not so fast Mamba! Obviously the balloon art can be fashioned cunningly into animal shapes which will act as decoys and lure unsuspecting beasts which you can then trap and eat (or have sex with if the women don't succumb to your efforts at impressing them).

Your cunning plans fall on their censored when the guest is female....... because she would have a life long supply of Femidoms, the trapped animals would then be caged and their f@rts harvested into said femidoms, bunched together to form a ballon and she d sail away to freedom! whilst sxx mad males (such as yourself ) spend their days bu@@ering animals lol!

mouth

Shortfall wrote:

Hmmmm. I see where you're going with this now. How about doing balloon art with them to impress the local women who will be so impressed that their grass skirts will fall off all by themselves?

Side note: A few years back I went on a Stag to Edinburgh and the groom had a relative in the area who joined us straight from work - he's a children's entertainer and had been making balloon art all afternoon. Anyway he still had his bag of tricks on him and spent the evening making models resembling various parts of both male and female anatomy. Many laughs were had and it gained a lot of attention.