Not so humble brags, efforts, and stories.....

burnthesheep

You know the drill. The group is done and sitting around the cafe or the pub having some beers. Out comes the smack talk, ridicule, the humble brags, the not so humble brags. And even some lies and some damned lies.

Let's open up the pub and consider the group ride over. One twist, in this one you can't ridicule the person for not having as good a brag as you do, or another person. If they finally dropped someone on a group ride, but it was only half of what you can do........too bad. It's all about them.

The only ridicule allowed is pressuring someone for screenshots of a ride, link to the effort, or power data to prove it's true. Because some brags may seem too good to be true without context. Like doing xxmph, with a 30mph tail wind.

Cool stories not related to an effort are allowed also..........like "I was out farting around and such and such pro or celebrity passed by! Then they had a beer with me when we stopped at the same place!"

Well.........get on with it.....I won't be first, my brags aren't very fun or interesting.

voodooman

ooh I've got one!

Commute back from Lyndhurst to Ashurst stretch and went past 3 guys on aero bikes with aero bars etc. They were on the road and I was on the gravelly path on my Ridley X-Bow complete with rucksack and laptop etc. Flew past and averaged 46kph for the stretch and left them for dead.

NB: it is only 3 k, they might have done miles and I was desperate to get home. Unfortunately pre signing up to Strava so it was only on my old Polar and before I got Polar Flow and all the other gubbins.

joe2008

I inadvertently dropped Tyler Hamilton on a mountain pass.

July 2006, Boulder, Colorado. I was riding towards Lefthand Canyon when a very tanned cyclist passed me and said "good morning". About 10 minutes later as I started to climb Lefthand I saw him again in the distance, I then gave it some effort to catch him, and judging by the look on his face, much to his amazement, I rode right past him.

He graciously gave me a gap for a minute and them came past me like a motorbike, just pausing long enough to say "how's it going?", I was too f***ed to reply. He sped off up the canyon at an unbelievable pace.

A few miles later I rode past an old guy on a mountain bike who cheerily said "you can catch me, but you won't catch Tyler", it was only then that it dawned on me that I had 'dropped', and been dropped by Tyler Hamilton.

There's a small shack come cafe near the top of Lefthand Canyon and parked outside was a Parlee with Tyler Hamilton Foundation on the side of it, Tyler was sitting outside at a bench having a Coke on his own.

I thought, well let's hope he doesn't recognise me as 'that guy' and I sat down and said hello. We chatted for about 10 minutes while he finished his drink, I then got him to sign my shirt.

Later I told this tale to my wife, who was pregnant at the time, and I ended the story with "...and his wife is called Haven", it was a lightbulb moment for both of us.

Our daughter Haven turned 11 last week.

fenix

I caught and passed Chris Boardman once - he was in full GAN kit at the time.

About a minute later he blasted past again. Then I twigged I'd caught him resting between intervals. My flat out was his recovery effort...

bendertherobot

I have a Kom over Alex dowsett

bigmat

I dropped the Katusha squad on the Baneberg the day before Gent-Wevelgem. They then followed me down the descent and held my wheel for a couple of km before turning off towards the Kemmelberg.

shortfall

bendertherobot wrote:

I have a Kom over Alex dowsett

I have one over Scott Thwaites.

burnthesheep

Keep em' coming. I'm liking this! Cool story about Hamilton. I like that you were able to chat for a bit afterwards.

The only thing about seeing anyone I ever have is being down in Hincapie land in Greenville SC. I've had to work a bit down there travelling. Each day after work I'd go on the local bike path when I was more novice, but moved over to Paris Mountain once I got strong enough to even make it up.

I was out doing repeats on the mountain one evening and had parked at the bike shop and bar combo at the bottom. No, I didn't see Hincapie or drop him. That would be awesome to catch his ass on his last repeat while you're on your first. I'm still not a huge fan of that guy yet despite any amelioration over time.

But........I did see a hot girl from one of the American Netflix TV series at the bottom in the bar afterwards. Not sure what she was doing there but was definitely Linda Cardellini from Bloodline. Super fancy car outside was probably her ride.

I was sitting there chugging down a recovery beer in my ugly as sin Team Novo kit, so other than a glance and hello when people in the bar saw each other........I said nothing else. Celebrities like that unless they fancy a chat I'd just assume let them have their privacy and enjoy themselves.

Definitely a few blokes around that area trying to LOOK like they're trying too hard. I was putting my bike back into the truck and watched a guy roll out a freaking yoga mat in the parking lot and start doing all sorts of plank behind his car. After his ride. Yeah, you can do that at home or at the gym.

I've got pretty much no drop stories. I passed an e-bike once while I was doing intervals one night. I've passed a few B-group pacelines before while riding solo. A few pitiful little 1 minute and less KOMs. I've had cars try to race me when it's slightly downhill and I can go over the speed limit.

I guess I'm mostly amazed I'm down about 20lbs now from last year and up 50 watts or so too. Being able to hold 600w for a minute or low 300's for 5 min is fun. Still small beans but I'm proud of it just riding as short a time as I have.

A sportive isn't a race......but when over half the people are on triathlon bikes and Ironman riders it is fairly rewarding to drop some people. C'mon, you sat in the draft for 30 miles on a tri bike but couldn't keep up for some roller hills closer the finish. At the last 3 miles there was only one tri bike left at the front, rest of us roadies.

So nothing really neat.

lettingthedaysgoby

My 6 year old daughter still loves telling people about the time we were on a ride and she sailed past a bloke on a 6% hill.

She was riding her little Frog bike, he was on several grands worth of Bianchi

The look on his face was priceless

term1te

I went past Thrust SSC near High Wycombe 17 or 18 years ago.

OK, it was on a low-loader and in a layby, but I was taking it easy too.

burnthesheep

lettingthedaysgoby wrote:

My 6 year old daughter still loves telling people about the time we were on a ride and she sailed past a bloke on a 6% hill.

She was riding her little Frog bike, he was on several grands worth of Bianchi

The look on his face was priceless

I am so screwed as my one son gets older. He's now 7. I told him we'd ride to get ice cream on his birthday. Didn't know how far yet he could make it with a hill. Told him what we were after and he got after it once he knew he'd get ice cream! I roll behind him to be the lookout. I checked the time once I got home and he was still ahead of the slower 20% of adults on that segment.

Kid is going to drop me like a rock by the time he's 12 or so. He has a lot of bike handling skills to acquire though versus a kid the same age living in Belgium or Britain.

When the kiddos were younger I'd use the bike trailer. I passed riders in full club kit and nice roadie a few times. That ended when the kids weighed enough that they broke the support straps going over a bump one time.

bonk_king

My story is far from a brag, more like downright embarassment. I ride alone, always have so know nothing about riding in groups. I was riding up cragg vale in yorkshire (2014 tdf went up there). It's an easy climb but as you get to the moorland at the top it can be brutal if the winds up. Anyway, half way up this guy passes me. He wasn't going much faster than me really so i just upped my pace a bit and latched onto his wheel. Happy days. Then a few minutes later 2 more guys joined us and latched onto my wheel.

So there we are, 4 guys who've never met before plodding up cragg vale. Now at this point i was feeling pretty good. The reason i was feeling pretty good was that the guy who i latched onto had been hiding me from the ever increasing headwind as we neared the barren last couple of kilometers at the top. In hindsight, i should have knew this but it just didn't register. I then foolhardedly decided to pull out of my sheltered haven and leave the 3 of them. The very second i pulled out i knew i'd made a huge mistake. The wind hit me like a train. There was no going back though, i had to put some distance between myself and the 3 other guys. It took a monumental effort just to get a 50 meter gap and i was spent. There was still maybe a kilometer to go and i knew i wasn't going to make it.

I just had to brace myself and wait for them to pass me and pray that these guys would be kind to the pillock who had just tried, and failed monumentally to dust them. Thankfully they didn't say anything, not a word. But the look on all there faces as they passed me spoke a million words. Lesson well and truly learnt.

cougie

Ooh I know. My first custom built bike paid for with wages from my first job. It was lovely and just what I'd dreamt of.

My first decent ride on it was a 70 miller into the hills of Wales. It was a summers day and people were out having a great time in the sun. On a descent I see a Ferrari ahead of me. Like the ones from Magnum. It's a twisty descent and he can't get past the caravan in front.
But my bike can.
The feeling as I overtook the open top Ferrari was awesome.

My first and last ever Ferrari overtake !

redvee

Back in 2011 when I had my singlespeed Tricoss I went out for a short Sunday ride. My cycling wardrobe was small and I was wearing Aldi SPD shoes, Altura baggie shorts and kneewarmers and a jacket of no name aka a right hotch-potch. Coming back into Bristol through Long Ashton I see three roadies ahead and see them as a target and catch them and tuck in behind tail end charlie for 1/2 mile, just as we hit a small climb all three slow down so I pull out and pass all three, as I get to the front rider I hear a groan from him. I don't look back and just go as fast as the gearing and traffic allows.

bristolpete

After moving to South Devon from Bristol four years I ago I decided to pack the sport in as Devon for me was simply too hard and no fun as such and I felt isolated. 100 miles a long way when you move. I did not ride for 18 months from October 13 to Spring 2015. It is just so hilly and I have never been a great climber and the move did my nut in, in cycling terms.

But last year (16) I got back on the bike rode 2500 odd miles, this year I have completed 4500 miles and taken on all of the local beasts including Haytor, Mamhead, Mortonhampstead and co. Half the issue with Devon riding is getting to the iconic climbs in the first place. I rode around the South Hams towards Plymouth in late November and it is literally 1000 feet of climbing per ten miles. Naturally, I am a better rider now. Stronger but less fit. Less long ploddy rides, more full gas short sharp 30-50 mile rides. I have concluded that back in Bristol we simply rode about zone 1 /2 good quality recreational riding but not really working hard. I am now up to 280 watts FTP have a better understanding of power and working hard on the turbo for 2018. 2017's big success effort for me was netting a KOM on a local strava climb which rolls like a MOFO and an average speed of 22.5 mph / 232 watts for 1.9 miles.

Met a guy on his bike, struck up a chat, started a fast tuesday ride with him and we have become great friends in the last year and weirdly another ex-pat Bristol chap. Funny old world but a reminder that the bike bonds us.

46 next year and life in the old dog yet. Small fry to many a rider but for me just great.

dabber

To my utter amazement I was looking on Strava at the ride I made up Luz Ardiden back in June and found that I'm the KOM (on several of the related segments) for the full climb.
Just one thing though...
.......
.......
.......
.......
.......
.......
It's only for my age group ... 70 to 74 8)

homers_double

bonk king wrote:

My story...

Are you from these parts Mr.King? I live in Littleborough.

bonk_king

homers double wrote:

bonk king wrote:

My story...

Are you from these parts Mr.King? I live in Littleborough.

Yes, i live in bacup, small world.

napoleond

I’m often compared to Tom Dumoulin.
e.g.
“Hey, NapD, you’re absolutely NOTHING LIKE Tom Dumoulin”

voodooman

Got another tho not cycling as frankly my cycling is rubbish unless flat or downhill.

Back in 2005 I got an invite to the Rose Bowl to bowl at the Aussies in the morning and England in the afternoon prior to the T20 match (England won it) and before THAT Ashes series. 12 years younger I still had a bit of pace about and managed to pin the following on the lid: Langer (not that good - he always got hit); Katich and Brett Lee. Then pinned Strauss, Flintoff and Harmison in the afternoon. Fortunately I was there to bowl so didn't have to bat!

JesseD

No pro riders or celebrities involved, but me and 3 others recently took 3rd place in a Local TTT on road bikes beating lots of other teams on full on TT set-ups, we were set of 3rd 2 mins down on the 2nd team off and 4 down on the 1st team both of whom were from the local Tri club and sporting incredibly expensive Tri bikes with discs etc and pointy hats an all.

We caught the 2nd team on the road at the climb on the halfway point which was fun, but even better was when on the long straight flat back to the finish we caught the team who were sent off 1st and had 4 mins on us, they were pretty shocked to see us sail past them on road bikes with around 2 miles to go, and their heads must have gone down pretty quickly as we put another 30 seconds into them over the last 2 miles, they refused to look at us after the finish.

mamil314

NapoleonD wrote:

I’m often compared to Tom Dumoulin.
e.g.
“Hey, NapD, you’re absolutely NOTHING LIKE Tom Dumoulin”

So you have a well functioning digestive system, woohoo, life is good!

chippyk

Out near Market Bosworth the other month with the Rapha MCR-LDN ride going the other way. Saw a slightly overweight bearded tattooed bloke with tights and a short sleeve top on a Pinarello. Clocked him coming towards me and thought, you look a bit of a tw@t. About half an hour later the penny dropped.

Wiggins.

redvee

The Bristol Triathlon happens on Sunday morning and I've been working the Sunday when it's on it seems and the cycle section is out and back on the Portway which is also my commute which has a shared use path alongside the road. Those on their bikes aren't too happy when I'm keeping pace or passing them as I ride along on my bike with a pannier of work gear etc.

Matthewfalle

Just sold some E Class wheels on Fleabay to ... wait fit ... an employee of Merceds F1 in Brackley.

pilot_pete

Went out with two mates to watch our other mate compete in the Chester Triathlon. We set off early to ride out the 25 odd miles to get to the bike circuit and see him come through near Farndon. One of my mates had a puncture so we duly fixed that but it ate into our time and it looked 50/50 whether we would make it to the viewing spot in time to see him go through.

Being the strongest in our group I hit the front and rode hard into the strong headwind. I mean really hard. I had to keep dropping the pace slightly to allow the other two to hold my wheel. We averaged 20mph and got to our agreed spot and literally 30 seconds later our mate sailed through on his borrowed TT machine. Our cheers were a little muted due to lack of breath!

We spent some 20 minutes cheering other riders on and offering encouragement - most were very slow 'have a goers', but hats off to them for getting out there and putting a number on their backs. Two riders stopped and asked for help - one had a crank arm falling off it was so loose, so I tightened it with my 8mm Allen key on my tiny multi tool, probably still nowhere near the correct torque, but he was ever so greatful and off he went. Two minutes later we helped an even more greatful rider whose tri bars had come loose at the stem/ steerer clamp! Holy cow, they were flapping around they were so loose, how the hell he stayed upright I don't know. Clamped them up and off he shot.

We then set off on the route to get to the park in Chester for the run leg. We'd agreed we would give it the beans for a laugh and if you got dropped we'd just meet again at the park entrance. Sailing passed full on tri rigged, tri club members was really funny. Obviously I sat up and went passed on the tops just to rub it in with a cheery "mornin', dig in!"

It's on Strava somewhere, but in the spirit of this thread I can't be arsed to find it....!

PP

aberdeen_lune

Pilot Pete wrote:

Went out with two mates to watch our other mate compete in the Chester Triathlon. We set off early to ride out the 25 odd miles to get to the bike circuit and see him come through near Farndon. One of my mates had a puncture so we duly fixed that but it ate into our time and it looked 50/50 whether we would make it to the viewing spot in time to see him go through.

Being the strongest in our group I hit the front and rode hard into the strong headwind. I mean really hard. I had to keep dropping the pace slightly to allow the other two to hold my wheel. We averaged 20mph and got to our agreed spot and literally 30 seconds later our mate sailed through on his borrowed TT machine. Our cheers were a little muted due to lack of breath!

We spent some 20 minutes cheering other riders on and offering encouragement - most were very slow 'have a goers', but hats off to them for getting out there and putting a number on their backs. Two riders stopped and asked for help - one had a crank arm falling off it was so loose, so I tightened it with my 8mm Allen key on my tiny multi tool, probably still nowhere near the correct torque, but he was ever so greatful and off he went. Two minutes later we helped an even more greatful rider whose tri bars had come loose at the stem/ steerer clamp! Holy cow, they were flapping around they were so loose, how the hell he stayed upright I don't know. Clamped them up and off he shot.

We then set off on the route to get to the park in Chester for the run leg. We'd agreed we would give it the beans for a laugh and if you got dropped we'd just meet again at the park entrance. Sailing passed full on tri rigged, tri club members was really funny. Obviously I sat up and went passed on the tops just to rub it in with a cheery "mornin', dig in!"

It's on Strava somewhere, but in the spirit of this thread I can't be arsed to find it....!

PP

e
Did you get your trainers on and beat them on the run leg too? Thought not.

joe2008

Pilot Pete wrote:

Went out with two mates to watch our other mate compete in the Chester Triathlon. We set off early to ride out the 25 odd miles to get to the bike circuit and see him come through near Farndon. One of my mates had a puncture so we duly fixed that but it ate into our time and it looked 50/50 whether we would make it to the viewing spot in time to see him go through.

Being the strongest in our group I hit the front and rode hard into the strong headwind. I mean really hard. I had to keep dropping the pace slightly to allow the other two to hold my wheel. We averaged 20mph and got to our agreed spot and literally 30 seconds later our mate sailed through on his borrowed TT machine. Our cheers were a little muted due to lack of breath!

We spent some 20 minutes cheering other riders on and offering encouragement - most were very slow 'have a goers', but hats off to them for getting out there and putting a number on their backs. Two riders stopped and asked for help - one had a crank arm falling off it was so loose, so I tightened it with my 8mm Allen key on my tiny multi tool, probably still nowhere near the correct torque, but he was ever so greatful and off he went. Two minutes later we helped an even more greatful rider whose tri bars had come loose at the stem/ steerer clamp! Holy cow, they were flapping around they were so loose, how the hell he stayed upright I don't know. Clamped them up and off he shot.

We then set off on the route to get to the park in Chester for the run leg. We'd agreed we would give it the beans for a laugh and if you got dropped we'd just meet again at the park entrance. Sailing passed full on tri rigged, tri club members was really funny. Obviously I sat up and went passed on the tops just to rub it in with a cheery "mornin', dig in!"

It's on Strava somewhere, but in the spirit of this thread I can't be arsed to find it....!

PP

And posted with a total absence of humility.

chippyk

joe2008 wrote:

Pilot Pete wrote:

Went out with two mates to watch our other mate compete in the Chester Triathlon. We set off early to ride out the 25 odd miles to get to the bike circuit and see him come through near Farndon. One of my mates had a puncture so we duly fixed that but it ate into our time and it looked 50/50 whether we would make it to the viewing spot in time to see him go through.

Being the strongest in our group I hit the front and rode hard into the strong headwind. I mean really hard. I had to keep dropping the pace slightly to allow the other two to hold my wheel. We averaged 20mph and got to our agreed spot and literally 30 seconds later our mate sailed through on his borrowed TT machine. Our cheers were a little muted due to lack of breath!

We spent some 20 minutes cheering other riders on and offering encouragement - most were very slow 'have a goers', but hats off to them for getting out there and putting a number on their backs. Two riders stopped and asked for help - one had a crank arm falling off it was so loose, so I tightened it with my 8mm Allen key on my tiny multi tool, probably still nowhere near the correct torque, but he was ever so greatful and off he went. Two minutes later we helped an even more greatful rider whose tri bars had come loose at the stem/ steerer clamp! Holy cow, they were flapping around they were so loose, how the hell he stayed upright I don't know. Clamped them up and off he shot.

We then set off on the route to get to the park in Chester for the run leg. We'd agreed we would give it the beans for a laugh and if you got dropped we'd just meet again at the park entrance. Sailing passed full on tri rigged, tri club members was really funny. Obviously I sat up and went passed on the tops just to rub it in with a cheery "mornin', dig in!"

It's on Strava somewhere, but in the spirit of this thread I can't be arsed to find it....!

PP

And posted with a total absence of humility.

And posted with a total absence of honesty. FFTY.

pottssteve

Not cycling related, but I (probably) saved a child's life back in November by giving him the Heimlich manoeuvre when he was choking on a big lump of sausage sandwich.

Just sayin'

Matthewfalle

pottssteve wrote:

Not cycling related, but I (probably) saved a child's life back in November by giving him the Heimlich manoeuvre when he was choking on a big lump of sausage sandwich.

Just sayin'

I presume you went through the first two stages of choking protocol before doing that?