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Pedaleur de Répulsion

No_Ta_DoctorNo_Ta_Doctor Posts: 11,191
edited July 2017 in Pro race
As the opposite of the Pedaleur de Charme award (which is for aesthetically pleasing cyclists - those with fluid strokes, low backs and a soupçon of souplesse - it's not about triers, or bravery, or attacking panache) I'd like to open the nominations for Pedaleur de Répulsion. These are the cyclists that are an affront to the aesthetics of the sport. Not because they're born ugly, but because everything they do on a bike just looks wrong. You can have a face only a mother could love and still win the Charme award, and you could have the cheekbones for a cover appearance on a fashion mag and still win the the Répulsion award.

My opening nomination is for Aru, who is a disgrace to the Italian national champions jersey. I don't care that his face would be improved by hitting it with a spade, it's he way he rides that disgusts me. I honestly can't bear to see him in the red, white and green.

Lets face it, when it comes to cycling aesthetics the Italians win hands down. If an Italian can't rock his jersey like this:

maxresdefault.jpg

Or this:
2009_07_12_zsabsdrjsh_lg.jpg

Or this:
image.jpg&h=350&w=606

then they should give up and go home.
“Road racing was over and the UCI had banned my riding positions on the track, so it was like ‘Jings, crivvens, help ma Boab, what do I do now? I know, I’ll go away and be depressed for 10 years’.”

@DrHeadgear

The Vikings are coming!
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Posts

  • ridgeriderridgerider Posts: 2,843
    Hand slinging off your rival...Changing gear with your hand...Class!

    I always manage to spot Hesink in a group of riders, another true 'bikefighter'.
    Half man, Half bike
  • The_BoyThe_Boy Posts: 3,099
    Latour, aru, froome, cadel. Probably missed a few.

    Voeckler!!
    Team My Man 2018: David gaudu, Pierre Latour, Romain Bardet, Thibaut pinot, Alexandre Geniez, Florian Senechal, Warren Barguil, Benoit Cosnefroy
  • I always thought Dan Martin is unweildly He looks like my recurring dream where I can't cycle because the pedals don't go round in an expected manner

    I can't remember if Landis pedalled censored or not but I always think yes because I hated him on a bike

    Riis with that stupid gurn and big gear rotation Repulsive
  • ProssPross Posts: 29,599
    Chris Anke Sorenson or Chris Horner are up there along with Froome and TV Tommy of course.
  • No_Ta_DoctorNo_Ta_Doctor Posts: 11,191
    Possibly controversial, but I'm going to add Contador - purely for his TTing. He shuffles on his saddle like a dog cleaning it's censored on the grass.
    “Road racing was over and the UCI had banned my riding positions on the track, so it was like ‘Jings, crivvens, help ma Boab, what do I do now? I know, I’ll go away and be depressed for 10 years’.”

    @DrHeadgear

    The Vikings are coming!
  • emaddenemadden Posts: 2,431
    In much the same way as Chris Anker Sorensen and Dan Martin make the selection due to their horrific bobbing up and down... lets also not forget the atrocious style of Mollema.
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  • RonBRonB Posts: 3,984
    Contador looks pretty cool climbing out of the saddle though.
  • above_the_cowsabove_the_cows Posts: 11,318
    Pozzovivo. I know he's one of MY MEN but he looks like he's mashing potatoes with his pedal mashing.
    Correlation is not causation.
  • blazing_saddlesblazing_saddles Posts: 18,212
    Paco "Quasimodo" Mancebo.
    Sadly, Mauricio Soler. Another all arms and legs man.

    Fernando Escartin.
    "Science is a tool for cheaters". An anonymous French PE teacher.
  • prawnyprawny Posts: 5,417
    Mollema looked like a python on his TT bike today, was rank.
    Saracen Tenet 3 - 2015 - Dead - Replaced with a Hack Frame
    Voodoo Bizango - 2014 - Dead - Hit by a car
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  • dolan_driverdolan_driver Posts: 831
    Dirk De Wolf - LBL winner, 1992.

    Cool name, appalling pedalling style.

    Un candidate pour le title "Pedaleur de Repulsion"!

    DD.
  • andypandyp Posts: 8,708
    Fernando Escartin.
    photo.jpg

    /thread ends
  • above_the_cowsabove_the_cows Posts: 11,318
    prawny wrote:
    Mollema looked like a python on his TT bike today, was rank.

    Mollema is not a pretty sight full-stop. But you are right that he looks like a snake, I could never figure out what it was about the way he moves that bothered me but that is it.
    Correlation is not causation.
  • above_the_cowsabove_the_cows Posts: 11,318
    andyp wrote:
    Fernando Escartin.
    photo.jpg

    /thread ends

    Oh come on the dude is lost in the roadside moment, give him a break. :wink:
    Correlation is not causation.
  • B3rnieMacB3rnieMac Posts: 384
    Ilnur Zakarin and his weird, spidery froome-like arms greatly disturbs me.
  • prawnyprawny Posts: 5,417
    B3rnieMac wrote:
    Ilnur Zakarin and his weird, spidery froome-like arms greatly disturbs me.


    220px-Japanese_spider_crab.jpg

    Zakarin and Aru earlier today
    Saracen Tenet 3 - 2015 - Dead - Replaced with a Hack Frame
    Voodoo Bizango - 2014 - Dead - Hit by a car
    Vitus Sentier VRS - 2017
  • B3rnieMacB3rnieMac Posts: 384
    5-3-Romandie-Winner-AFP.jpg

    *shudder*
  • k1875k1875 Posts: 485
    B3rnieMac wrote:
    5-3-Romandie-Winner-AFP.jpg

    *shudder*
    :shock:
    Jesus, that'll haunt my dreams like the big spider in harry potter.

    Degenkolb is not pretty when he's giving it the beans.
  • yourpaceormineyourpaceormine Posts: 1,245
    Aru's 'givin it some' uphill looks like he stepped out of Belleville Rendezvous. Only in BV it looked good, Aru just looks awful.

    The fact that Aru can look so bloomin awful on a bike disproves the hypothesis (somewhere up there ^ ) that Italians are the epitomy of suave sophistication en velo.
  • Lanterne_RogueLanterne_Rogue Posts: 3,330
    Anyone who can make it through the HC climbs with the big boys and then ends up in a sprint finish. Even the ones who normally look okay on a bike. All the energy they're putting out ends up frantically trying to escape in whichever direction is most convenient, presumably out of pure embarrassment for being associated with the whole farrago.
  • takethehighroadtakethehighroad Posts: 5,989
    Ha, that sprint finish into Chambery was the epitomy of that. Someone described Froome as "looking like he was leading himself out"
  • emaddenemadden Posts: 2,431
    prawny wrote:
    B3rnieMac wrote:
    Ilnur Zakarin and his weird, spidery froome-like arms greatly disturbs me.


    220px-Japanese_spider_crab.jpg

    Zakarin and Aru earlier today

    a_spider_bought_a_bicycle_by_layla_tian.jpg
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  • emaddenemadden Posts: 2,431
    Jens Voigt was never able to ride in a straight line... front wheel in and out. And, then he had his knees pointing out at right angles: simply horrific.
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  • jimmythecuckoojimmythecuckoo Posts: 4,558
    Another vote for Aru from me.

    He looks like he is wrestling.
  • timoid.timoid. Posts: 3,133
    From the current crop: Aru, Martin, Mollema, Voeckler (or is he historic now?) and of course Froome

    From the past: Mancebo - rode with his head sideways
    It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.
  • davidofdavidof Posts: 2,578
    Ten dam is disgusting

    e8f5316b6fcb2acc0b81a07311a23527.jpg
    BASI Nordic Ski Instructor
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  • above_the_cowsabove_the_cows Posts: 11,318
    Oy laat Laurens alleen.
    Correlation is not causation.
  • r0bhr0bh Posts: 1,599
    000_par6395012tendam_600.jpg
  • No_Ta_DoctorNo_Ta_Doctor Posts: 11,191
    Just a reminder, this isn't about having good looks. You can have the face of Adonis himself and still look like a sack of potatoes on a bike. Conversely, you can have a face that scares babies and causes grown men to look away and still look like elegance personified when you start to pedal.
    “Road racing was over and the UCI had banned my riding positions on the track, so it was like ‘Jings, crivvens, help ma Boab, what do I do now? I know, I’ll go away and be depressed for 10 years’.”

    @DrHeadgear

    The Vikings are coming!
  • meursaultmeursault Posts: 1,433
    My Fav description of Va va Froomedog "Like an octopus shagging a washing machine".
    Superstition sets the whole world in flames; philosophy quenches them.

    Voltaire
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