Your 'Darwin Award' workshop admissions

pilot_pete · July 2017

After reading slowbikes admirable admission regarding removing his HT2 crank arms using an incorrect technique in this thread http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=40004&t=13081990 I thought a bit of confession might be good for the soul.

So, what is your best dufus moment in the workshop worthy of the Bike Radar Dawin Award for cack handed spannering?

I'll get the ball rolling with being an over enthusiastic (and penniless) youngster who built my own bikes from discarded bits from various council tips. This made me think I was a master mechanic with my abilities and my love of stripping things down and cleaning them to within an inch of their lives, then putting them back together with my dads Castrol LM grease etc.

After two years of scrimping, saving pocket money and doing little jobs here and there for cash I saved the grand sum of £140 and bought my dream bike - a Raleigh Rapide in beautiful polar white. Why on earth I thought this needed the same treatment as my previous 'bitsas' is beyond me, but one day not very long after getting the bike and certainly not after any significant mileage I decided to strip, clean and re-grease the bottom bracket bearings.

I found a C spanner in my dads toolbox that didn't actually fit but was close enough :roll: and wound out the cups. I cleaned off the 'old grease' and had everything looking spotless. I packed them with the trusty LM and started to re-fit them. Seemed a little tight, but no bother, just use a little more force until they were fully wound home. Job done, stand back and admire. Seemed to work fine, but eventually it dawned on me that I had screwed them back into the opposite sides and completely cross threaded both of them. :shock: I never removed them again and just kept my fingers crossed that all would be well. Not doing that many miles I sort of got away with it as I never wore out the bearings thus needing to actually change them... :roll:

So, pretty dufus and back in the very early 1980's with no YouTube, workshop manuals or the like and being an overly keen 14 yo mechanic with too much pride to actually ask anyone how to do it I was probably bound to c0ck it up at some point! Main thing is to learn from mistakes and I am now pretty obsessive about researching correct techniques etc before getting my club hammer out... :shock:

Any other candidates out there willing to put their hands up?

PP

londoncommuter · July 2017

Go on, I'll start you off with one I think a lot of us have done.

New chain / don't thread properly through rear mech / connect chain / spin crank / grinding noise.... must have done that a couple of times.

Did have to explain to a club mate once that he should maybe try loosening his stem bolts before attempting to tightening his headset....

arlowood · July 2017

Have done several bike builds in past but on the last one I managed to thread the chain round the outside of the little guide bracket just below the upper jockey wheel.

Rode the bike like that for a couple of hundred miles before I spotted the error - DOOOOH!. Have now worn a nice groove on the outside of that little bracket but it's not structural and the chain still seems fine.

Finally explained why I thought the drivetrain was a bit noisier than I remembered on previous builds

pilot_pete · July 2017

Liking that one Arlo, although I must admit to being a little surprised that you did a few hundred miles before noticing the error! I once routed the chain in a similar manner but spotted that almost immediately when I turned the cranks....!

PP

pilot_pete · July 2017

londoncommuter wrote:

Did have to explain to a club mate once that he should maybe try loosening his stem bolts before attempting to tightening his headset....

Yes I've seen someone doing that too....funny old thing is he put the T handle Allen key in and was using the full leverage offered by the tool to make it tighter and tighter. Never thought to stop even though no play was being removed...!

PP

joncomelately · July 2017

My first attempt at recabling, and I forgot to put a ferrule on the rear gear cable as it enters the brifter. 9 months later I wondered why my rear derailleur stopped working mid ride... Fortunately, managed to cut/prise out the strands of the outer that the brifter had eaten, the inner wasn't damaged so removal wasn't too tricky once I'd actually figured out the problem. I was, however, on the verge of spending several hundred pounds as I'd convinced myself that if I was having to replace the brifters I may as well upgrade the chainset! Needless to say, my next attempt had the requisite protection in all the right places.

buckmulligan · July 2017

I've just cracked a ceramic piston on my disc brake caliper two days before I'm supposed to be travelling up north for Ironman UK.

pilot_pete · July 2017

BuckMulligan wrote:

I've just cracked a ceramic piston on my disc brake caliper two days before I'm supposed to be travelling up north for Ironman UK.

Ooh, bugger...

PP

andcp · July 2017

Some moons ago I had some 'air assisted' MTB forks. They were getting a bit slack so I though I'd give them a service - removed the circlip at the top of the forks that held the alloy body that the valve was in, but the body didn't move. I poked and prodded and then, quite suddenly and with no advanced warning, an object flew past my ear at great velocity. Note to self: release the air pressure from the forks BEFORE trying to remove the valve......

CptKernow · July 2017

arlowood wrote:

Have done several bike builds in past but on the last one I managed to thread the chain round the outside of the little guide bracket just below the upper jockey wheel.

Rode the bike like that for a couple of hundred miles before I spotted the error - DOOOOH!. Have now worn a nice groove on the outside of that little bracket but it's not structural and the chain still seems fine.

Done this. I only managed 50 miles of thinking something's not quite right. Also ended up with a nice groove cut into the cage.

My latest one was only a few weeks back when my pedal came off at the top of Haytor. After not being able to get my last pair off and reading they were self tightening I was very careful not to overtighten them...

keef66 · July 2017

Just like pilot Pete I too liked dismantling things with a selection of ill-fitting tools. Just about got a freewheel to bits when I got the distinct feeling it was about to explode. So I started tightening it back up again, but I the process mangled one of the 2 surprisingly delicate pawl springs. Too skint to pay for it to be fixed, and too embarrassed to admit what I'd done, I just carried on riding it for the next 10 years. I think God must've been looking over me and my testicles.

Couple of times I've been close to cutting an outer cable with the inner in place, but apart from that, bikes are such simple things it's hard to cock up.

DIY on the house and cars is an entirely different matter...

veronese68 · July 2017

keef66 wrote:

...but apart from that, bikes are such simple things it's hard to fool up...

You under estimate the abilities of man.
I did the thing with not tightening a pedal too hard thinking they were threaded in opposite directions as the self tighten. I hadn't been clipless for very long and I was going to meet friends at a pub in Twickenham so put flats back on the hack. Had nearly arrived at the pub when the drive side pedal fell off as I was riding over some cobbles. It ripped most of the thread out of the crank so I couldn't get the pedal back on. Having had a few drinks or so I set off home, pushing the bike along. Soon got bored so thought I'd pedal and scoot along to get home a bit quicker. Riding along the tow path I slipped somehow and managed to miss the ground with my foot, overbalanced and down I went. Obviously this had nothing to do with the volume of beer consumed and the broken rib was entirely due to my fettling incompetence. Whatever was the cause this illustrates that whilst a bicycle may be a simple thing, man is simpler. Certainly this one at any rate.

slowbike · July 2017

My first road bike was 2x8 - anyway - loved the bike - upgraded the wheels to some Fulcrum Racing S's ... run forward a couple of years and I've got a second bike (carbon this time) ... nicer wheels ... but then ping! goes a spoke on the backwheel - no prob - I'll drop it into the LBS and they can sort - although it'll take a little while as it's not standard spokes (is it ever?) - hmm want to carry on riding the carbon bike - no prob - just take my FRS's and change the cassette - rear mech needs a tweak and off we go ... commute to work

On the way back home it all goes wrong - can't pedal and the chain is getting mangled in with the frame ... hmm ... panic diagnosis - start removing the rear wheel ... only for the cassette to fall apart - quick put it back together before I'm left with pieces all over the road! Fortunately I'm at a bus stop on a main route - so start waiting for the bus - but before it arrives a van pulls in from a business opposite where I work and offers me a lift - all good!

Get home - check what's happened to the cassette ... ok the locknut is undone - but not because it wasn't tightened enough - no - it was tightened too much and fractured the freehub - now the freehub is missing the last mm's of length and can't take a 10speed cassette (very easily anyway) ...

oscarbudgie · July 2017

oh cripes I think I've done nearly all of these things, some of them twice...loose pedal cost me a collarbone

redvee · July 2017

When I first had a bike with a cassette rear wheel I bought a new cassette and tool to change it, got home and started the job. Lockring tool in place and noticed the cassette turned too, so I jammed a screwdriver through the cassette and spokes and turned and broke 3 spokes.

bompington · July 2017

Well, none of you lot come close to the original Darwin Awards... and neither did I, at least not in the sense of actually removing myself from the gene pool.
But many years ago, as a callow and ignorant teenager, I was trying to lever something off the handlebars - I can't even remember what, if might have been the air horn I proudly replaced the bell with - using a screwdriver that was, of course, nicely greasy and dirty by that stage. One slip and the screwdriver went merrily right through the palm of my hand, a bit less than a inch in between the base of the index and middle fingers.
Cue significant pain, much blood, quite a few stitches, and a lot of embarrassment.

londoncommuter · July 2017

Actually, if we're talking close to death then the wife nearly killed me the other week after I had to drill some holes in a SKS Chromoplastic rear mudguard (SKS have shocking quality control). I merrily drilled through the guard, through the phone book I'd cunningly put underneath to protect the floor and then through the floor....

Funny how all you can see in our hall now is three tiny drill holes in the wooden floor. Maybe I should take advantage and stick another bike in the hall as everything other than the holes is now invisible seemingly.

Oh and Keef66, I've carefully trimmed 1cm off cable outer, to get the bike looking perfect, oblivious to the inner already inserted. You do feel so stupid.

cambiker71 · July 2017

Just before a centre parcs family holiday I checked all the other bikes, decided a mountain bike frame would be a better bet for the week for me so added some wheels, bars, brakes etc, quick ride up the road and the steering felt funny, swapped the tyres for some Schwalbe city jets, another quick ride and all was well.
Unloaded all the bikes on holiday, riding along thinking this still doesn't feel quite right so put up with it for the afternoon.
Had a quick look that evening and tightened the head races a little, play gone, all will be fine tomorrow I think!
Next day, bike is verging on unrideable, so I loosen the races off a bit, and it's back to just feeling a bit weird so a make a mental note to quickly look at it that evening once the kids are in bed and have another day wobbling about.
kids in bed, tools out, handlebars off, head races undone to look at the bearings.... none, no bearings at all in top or bottom of the stem, now what??
So I cut a spare tube into rings and wrap a few around the bottom of the stem, a few more for the top to take up the gap where the bearings should have been and use washing up liquid to lubricate it all and bolt it back together ready for the next day.
Success!! it worked, bike felt normal, and it lasted until the end of the week too!
Moral of the story, if you buy a few bikes as a job lot and one is mostly stripped down, check everything before bloody using it!!!

pinno · July 2017

Here we go...

Long time ago as a teenager, I challenged some bloke to a bike race. It was a lot of bravado but I was intent on carrying it out. Word got around school of the start and finish point. So I was committed. Night before the race, I decided to give the bike a once over. The same bike that was really shiny if I wiped the frame with cooking oil (until it went all crusty).
Some spokes were slightly loose but despite the fact that they were true, I fashioned a spoke key with a file and a piece of metal and tightened all the loose spokes. Result: one very wonky unrideable back wheel. Shame faced for missing 'the race' and all the taunts at school I got following this.
The upside was that not long after that, I joined the local CC. I still see the guy I was supposed to race and he's on the very podgy side. I do like riding past him when he's out walking.

Next was an event in Sweden. I took my bike over there when I went to spend some time with the then GF. I set up a mobile bike repair service in Uppsala. I had one bike with panniers for tools and bits and my Battaglin, complete with Delta brakes. If you know Delta brakes, they are a pain to set up. I set it up with the cable around the seatpin on the right hand side because the clearance of the pads was so small and anyone who's had Delta's will know that you need to set them up like this because they were pretty hopeless. This allowed me to turn to the right should I have to.
However, on a road I didn't know heading out of town, I decided to do a U turn and wallop, promptly hit the deck.
So there I was lying in the middle of the road wondering what the hell had happened and some kindly Swedish bloke who stopped his car and helped me dust myself down. It took me a while to figure out why the back wheel had suddenly stopped moving but I hadn't thought to alter the cable route to the left of the seatpin and it tightened enough to stop the back wheel as I was cycling on the right hand side of the road.

More recently, on the swap from the winter bike to the summer bike, I decided to strip and clean both bikes. After a frustrating 60 miles where I couldn't get the damn 11 speed to work properly, constantly adjusting the barrel shifters and the adjuster at the back of the rear mech.
The winter bike came out after a couple of days of downpour and I was remarking to myself how smooth the 10 speed Record was as opposed to the 11. What was I going to do? I checked hanger alignment, chain, levers, BB cable guide, jockey wheels, cassette wear - nothing; all fine...and then it came to me at about 2am - I had mixed the bloody chains up.

It's funny how some off's seem to happen in slow motion. Last November, I went on my way on a winter ride. I live at the top of a hill, so for the first half mile, I hardly pedalled. I crossed the busy main road to a back route through the industrial estate and as I put the slightest pressure on the pedals, the back wheel stopped going round. In this moment, looking down for the reason, I had come to a grinding halt and left myself no time to unclip. Clonk, on the deck. Right in front of a local factory which makes aviation and motorcycle helmets, all the occupants looking on.
I didn't tighten the rear QR skewer properly after some fettling.
I was sort of glad it hadn't happened on the downhill bit but I didn't half feel stupid.

redvee · July 2017

Another one of mine from when I was living on other peoples taxes, i.e. unemployed. Bar ends were the latest thing for MTBs and I couldn't afford the £30 that they were selling for back then so decided to make my own. Off to the local stockholders and bought 12" of 7/8" alloy bar. Cut all the bits to shape and size but needed to drill and tap some hole so used the facilities on the Employment Training course I was on. Fitted them to the bike a few days later and noted the ends were a bit sharp and could damage the toptube so I set about cutting the corners off the bar ends and making the ends angled, done the first one no problem, cut the second one cleanly but the hacksaw dropped and the cutting motion remained with my wrist stopping the hacksaw going any lower. I ended up with a cut 3/4" long and 1/4" deep on my wrist but no blood so rode to A&E, 4 miles away after removing the barends from my bike and the doctor that treated me asked if I had full movement in my wrist, I didn't mention I had just rode 4 miles on a MTB to get there.

ddraver · July 2017

Technically also an MTB one from last week...

So the bike had a really horrible creak when i pedalled. Fine, thinks I, new bottom bracket time. Find and fit one but it still creaks. Spend 2 hours fitting and removing the press fit Bb as the bloody thing wouldnt stop creaking.

Give up and ride most of the way up to La Plagne to fetch the van ( currently my 'job') sounding like a broken motorbike.

On return i renove and regit the BB a few more times until i notice that the cassette is looking a bit wobbly. Tirns out my freehub has collapsed and that grinding is the cassette lockring gouging a trench into the freehub lockring!

davidof · July 2017

Cracking a head tube by not using a headset press.

EssexBhoy82 · July 2017

arlowood wrote:

Have done several bike builds in past but on the last one I managed to thread the chain round the outside of the little guide bracket just below the upper jockey wheel.

Rode the bike like that for a couple of hundred miles before I spotted the error - DOOOOH!. Have now worn a nice groove on the outside of that little bracket but it's not structural and the chain still seems fine.

Finally explained why I thought the drivetrain was a bit noisier than I remembered on previous builds

I came to this thread to tell EXACTLY the same story...having spent 2 days unsuccessfully (obviously) indexing the gears. LOL!

Nick Payne · July 2017

Not my own stuff-up, but a demonstration that professional riders don't necessarily know very much about the bikes they ride and can be pretty lousy mechanics.

About a dozen years back a pro rider who had started his riding career with our local club, and who was then riding with a European ProTour team, rang and asked if he could borrow my TT bike, as his team wouldn't fly his TT bike out to Australia for him to ride in our national championships. At the time I had a Cervelo P3, which was then pretty much the bees knees of TT machines. Anyway, I loaned him the bike, he rode it to 2nd place in the nationals, and he then delivered it back to me along with a nice bottle of wine. It wasn't till I was looking the bike over in preparation for our next club TT that I realized that it had come back to me with the front shifter cabled to the rear derailleur and the rear shifter cabled to the front derailleur.

When I asked him about it the next time we met, he looked a bit embarrassed - explained that he hadn't liked the Cinelli Angel bars I had on the bike, and had swapped them out for some other bar for the event and then put my bars back afterwards. He obviously hadn't even done any trial gear changes on the workstand to check that things were working after re-cabling the shifters.

pilot_pete · July 2017

Wow Nick!

To think that you would re-cable shifters and not even see if they operated before giving the bike back to a mate who has helped you out is pretty crass...! Judging by the antics of pro riders when their bike suffers a mechanical mishap, and how they throw them, break them in anger etc I don't think I'd let a pro anywhere near my pride and joy!

PP

liamcahill1 · July 2017

First off, I want to say that this thread has kept me entertained at work today and also relieved me of much worry that I was alone in learning to fix bikes by first breaking them.

My first tale comes from before I owned my first proper racer, a Felt AR4. I was riding my Dad's Wilier La Triestina. It has carbon forks front and rear, and Campagnolo Veloce in chrome which was other worldly in my eyes at the time. So as it was beautiful, I wanted to keep it pristine whilst borrowing it. I noticed a build up of gunk in the jockey wheels and thought I'd clean it up. I made sure to keep the pieces in order whilst cleaning each wheel and both cages with care. I still don't know exactly what I did, but during my cafe ride the next day, the rear mech exploded all over the cycle path. Cue much laughter from my training buddy as he pushed me the 5 miles (thankfully for him) downhill to our local bike shop. I didn't have the heart to tell the mechanic that I'd been fiddling the the mech. "My Dad did it" I heard myself say. We both knew truth. That's a $90 mistake I've learnt from...

That's not all. I have a second sin Father...

Before a trip to the Alps I decided that a new set of wheels was in order. Carbon wheels gave the 'pro' look I so desired but my pockets weren't deep enough for the real deal. So to China I turned and purchased a generic set and some 'lightweight' decals to complete my pro illusion. I also decided that having ridden Alp d'Huez on a 34 tooth chainring the previous summer, I should probably change the 36 I'd installed over the winter back to said 34. This would make my trip more enjoyable I reasoned. I'd spent a lot of money on the trip and wheels, so I didn't want to waste too much money on a ring I'd only be using for 2 weeks. On to eBay I went to buy a lightly used 34 tooth inner ring.
Needless to say my bike looked 'amazing' and I was going to fly up the mountains. So off we go, up the Col d'Ornon as our warm up mountain. We spun up the first part which is quite shallow, before hitting the steeper pitches near the top. As soon as the gradient goes up above 10%, I'm forced to stand on the pedals. CRUNCH!!!!
I sit down and look to my wheel, my friend who is riding alongside and works in a bike shop remarks that it sounds like the freehub is slipping. Dammed Chinese I think. Novatch hubs must be awful.
That afternoon, we go to the bike shop in Bour d'Osainas. I stand in line for 2 hours waiting to be seen, wheels in hand. I try my best, with zero French, to explain the freehub is slipping. The mechanic takes the wheel and turns to his colleague.

"Pas de Lightweight. C'est merde" They remark, my home decals not fooling them one bit.

He hands the wheel back to me having checked the pawls.

"Ce n'est pas le freehub."

So I rode like this for the whole trip, with my freehub slipping any time I put power down. "Those French mechanics know nothing" I lambaste.

After returning home, I swap out my wheels and head to my local climb of Cheddar Gorge. Riding up the 16% section I hear CRUNCH!!! I conclude that I'm supper strong to be destroying freehubs on a weekly basis. Until my bubble is burst. A rider near me casually points out that it sounds like my chainring is worn. Same thing happened to him he says.

Yep, my effort to save a tenner had resulted in me questioning the mechanical knowledge of both the French and the Chinese nations, somewhat spoiled my holiday and had probably ruined my chain as well.

I still maintain that this is the best way to learn though. The pain of the embarrassment has taught me caution and gave me a desire to learn as much as possible about bicycle mechanics.

Your 'Darwin Award' workshop admissions

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