Attention: Boris Bike users: rules
secretsam
Posts: 4,976
Everyone knows the best way to see our capital's sights us by bicycle. This is made easier by London's hire bikes, commonly known as "Boris Bikes"*.
However, as a regular central London rider, it's clear to me that many of you don't know the basic rules of Boris Biking, which are:
1. The ability to ride a bike is entirely optional, as the ability to steer, ride in a straight line or handle the bike with any competence is irrelevant, due to rule 2, which is:
2. At all times, one hand must be off the bars, so you can consult your phone. On no account look where you're going, other road users are all psychic
3. At all times, ride two-abreast, unless in a very busy area, when three-abreast works best. Other road users love overtaking you on London's narrowest roads
4. Stop whenever suits, don't signal or anything, every one else is psychic, remember?
5. (British users only): this will be the only time you use a bike this year, so you are allowed to run all red lights, on the proviso that you spend the rest of the year complaining how "bloody cyclists" are a menace and "don't even pay road tax"**
*Fact: BoJo the Clown was nothing to do with them, they were Red Ken's idea
** Fact 2: there's no such thing as "road tax"
However, as a regular central London rider, it's clear to me that many of you don't know the basic rules of Boris Biking, which are:
1. The ability to ride a bike is entirely optional, as the ability to steer, ride in a straight line or handle the bike with any competence is irrelevant, due to rule 2, which is:
2. At all times, one hand must be off the bars, so you can consult your phone. On no account look where you're going, other road users are all psychic
3. At all times, ride two-abreast, unless in a very busy area, when three-abreast works best. Other road users love overtaking you on London's narrowest roads
4. Stop whenever suits, don't signal or anything, every one else is psychic, remember?
5. (British users only): this will be the only time you use a bike this year, so you are allowed to run all red lights, on the proviso that you spend the rest of the year complaining how "bloody cyclists" are a menace and "don't even pay road tax"**
*Fact: BoJo the Clown was nothing to do with them, they were Red Ken's idea
** Fact 2: there's no such thing as "road tax"
It's just a hill. Get over it.
0
Posts
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.
SecretSam needs to Fat Check his posts like.. before he posts them
Stop being Fattist
Have amended spelink now
It's just a hill. Get over it.
I didn't follow any of the rules, but I felt it a bit difficult to get used to the wide flat bars.