Standing up or sitting down?

Riding High
Riding High Posts: 21
edited June 2017 in The cake stop
How do you wipe your bum?

I am 46 years old and only last night found out that there are people who somehow manage to wipe sitting down!!! I find that bizarre.

Can't believe I am just finding out about this phenomenon........ :?

Comments

  • cooldad
    cooldad Posts: 32,599
    My butler finds it easier if I stand up.
    I don't do smileys.

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  • bbrap
    bbrap Posts: 610
    I use my prehensile willy and hang from the light fittings.
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  • gethinceri
    gethinceri Posts: 1,535
    I have trained an otter for this purpose.
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 14,858
    Karcher pressure washer. Job done.
  • Ben6899
    Ben6899 Posts: 9,686
    Toilet brush
    Ben

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  • BelgianBeerGeek
    BelgianBeerGeek Posts: 5,226
    Scoot across a nice dewy lawn.
    Ecrasez l’infame
  • robertpb
    robertpb Posts: 1,866
    It's all down to whether the toilet seat is pointing uphill or downhill.
    Now where's that "Get Out of Crash Free Card"
  • fat daddy
    fat daddy Posts: 2,605
    both ..... sitting for efficiency and if I am going to be wiping for a long time ..... but if I want more power, or to race someone, or just to stretch the legs if I have been sitting for ages ... then I stand.
  • jmm434
    jmm434 Posts: 18
    Always sitting, but might give standing a shot...might give me some more quad work
  • navrig2
    navrig2 Posts: 1,849
    When I did my PhD in this particular topic I concluded that standing allows the cheeks to resume the normal position and for those of us with a tight bum resulted in unwanted spread. Sitting often resulted in a better outcome and the use of less paper. Hence sitting is environmentally more friendly.
  • solosuperia
    solosuperia Posts: 333
    Wire brush and Dettol..........
    Whoops sorry that is for clearing the crabs.
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,952
    Wire brush and Dettol..........
    Whoops sorry that is for clearing the crabs.

    No, you need 'blue unction' for that (see "Adolf Hitler, my part in his downfall"...Spike Milligan :D )

    Another can of worms...

    There's more choices than the thread title suggests. There's the added option of when sitting*, does one "reach through" or "reach behind**"?


    *or I suppose when standing.
    **carefully avoids "reach around". :roll:


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • figbat
    figbat Posts: 680
    Not to mention the "scrunch or fold" debate.
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  • tangled_metal
    tangled_metal Posts: 4,021
    Or use, fold and use again. Is that environmentally friendly or just gross?
  • tangled_metal
    tangled_metal Posts: 4,021
    Then before the clean up is needed do you sit to sh1t or squat on the toilet seat. Apparently squatting is better for your bowels.
  • vimfuego
    vimfuego Posts: 1,783
    I bet you savages hang the paper under the roll too.....?
    CS7
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  • tangled_metal
    tangled_metal Posts: 4,021
    vimfuego wrote:
    I bet you savages hang the paper under the roll too.....?
    Eh? Do you mean the free hanging bit of the loo roll against the wall side or the more practical outside hang which is easier to grab?
  • fat daddy
    fat daddy Posts: 2,605
    Then before the clean up is needed do you sit to sh1t or squat on the toilet seat. Apparently squatting is better for your bowels.

    squatting is better for EVERYTHING ! .. allegedly .... between Squatting and Broccoli I am sure you could cure the world of its problems, reverse Brexit, save the rain forests etc
  • vimfuego
    vimfuego Posts: 1,783
    vimfuego wrote:
    I bet you savages hang the paper under the roll too.....?
    Eh? Do you mean the free hanging bit of the loo roll against the wall side or the more practical outside hang which is easier to grab?

    exactly that
    CS7
    Surrey Hills
    What's a Zwift?
  • peat
    peat Posts: 1,242
    washlet+remote+control.jpeg
    Anyone who's been to Japan will attest that wiping is an all together inferior cleaning experience.
  • briantrumpet
    briantrumpet Posts: 18,264
    More to the point, why is French toilet paper sooooo small? Is there something about their cleaning habits I should know?
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,952
    Peat wrote:
    washlet+remote+control.jpeg
    Anyone who's been to Japan will attest that wiping is an all together inferior cleaning experience.

    I'd be very wary of those buttons, one of them could be an 'automatic tampon puller'. :shock:


    The older I get, the better I was.