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Standing up or sitting down?

Riding HighRiding High Posts: 21
edited June 2017 in The cake stop
How do you wipe your bum?

I am 46 years old and only last night found out that there are people who somehow manage to wipe sitting down!!! I find that bizarre.

Can't believe I am just finding out about this phenomenon........ :?

Posts

  • cooldadcooldad Posts: 32,599
    My butler finds it easier if I stand up.
    I don't do smileys.

    There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda

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  • bbrapbbrap Posts: 610
    I use my prehensile willy and hang from the light fittings.
    Rose Xeon CDX 3100, Ultegra Di2 disc (nice weather)
    Ribble Gran Fondo, Campagnolo Centaur (winter bike)
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    Land Rover (really nasty weather :lol: )
  • gethincerigethinceri Posts: 1,352
    I have trained an otter for this purpose.
  • First.AspectFirst.Aspect Posts: 11,778
    Karcher pressure washer. Job done.
  • Ben6899Ben6899 Posts: 9,681
    Toilet brush
    Ben

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  • BelgianBeerGeekBelgianBeerGeek Posts: 5,226
    Scoot across a nice dewy lawn.
    Ecrasez l’infame
  • robertpbrobertpb Posts: 1,866
    It's all down to whether the toilet seat is pointing uphill or downhill.
    Now where's that "Get Out of Crash Free Card"
  • fat daddyfat daddy Posts: 2,605
    both ..... sitting for efficiency and if I am going to be wiping for a long time ..... but if I want more power, or to race someone, or just to stretch the legs if I have been sitting for ages ... then I stand.
  • jmm434jmm434 Posts: 18
    Always sitting, but might give standing a shot...might give me some more quad work
  • navrig2navrig2 Posts: 1,774
    When I did my PhD in this particular topic I concluded that standing allows the cheeks to resume the normal position and for those of us with a tight bum resulted in unwanted spread. Sitting often resulted in a better outcome and the use of less paper. Hence sitting is environmentally more friendly.
  • solosuperiasolosuperia Posts: 333
    Wire brush and Dettol..........
    Whoops sorry that is for clearing the crabs.
  • capt_slogcapt_slog Posts: 3,854
    Wire brush and Dettol..........
    Whoops sorry that is for clearing the crabs.

    No, you need 'blue unction' for that (see "Adolf Hitler, my part in his downfall"...Spike Milligan :D )

    Another can of worms...

    There's more choices than the thread title suggests. There's the added option of when sitting*, does one "reach through" or "reach behind**"?


    *or I suppose when standing.
    **carefully avoids "reach around". :roll:


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • figbatfigbat Posts: 680
    Not to mention the "scrunch or fold" debate.
    Cube Reaction GTC Pro 29 for the lumpy stuff
    Cannondale Synapse alloy with 'guards for the winter roads
    Fuji Altamira 2.7 for the summer roads
    Trek 830 Mountain Track frame turned into a gravel bike - for anywhere & everywhere
  • tangled_metaltangled_metal Posts: 4,021
    Or use, fold and use again. Is that environmentally friendly or just gross?
  • tangled_metaltangled_metal Posts: 4,021
    Then before the clean up is needed do you sit to censored or squat on the toilet seat. Apparently squatting is better for your bowels.
  • vimfuegovimfuego Posts: 1,783
    I bet you savages hang the paper under the roll too.....?
    CS7
    Surrey Hills
    What's a Zwift?
  • tangled_metaltangled_metal Posts: 4,021
    vimfuego wrote:
    I bet you savages hang the paper under the roll too.....?
    Eh? Do you mean the free hanging bit of the loo roll against the wall side or the more practical outside hang which is easier to grab?
  • fat daddyfat daddy Posts: 2,605
    Then before the clean up is needed do you sit to censored or squat on the toilet seat. Apparently squatting is better for your bowels.

    squatting is better for EVERYTHING ! .. allegedly .... between Squatting and Broccoli I am sure you could cure the world of its problems, reverse Brexit, save the rain forests etc
  • vimfuegovimfuego Posts: 1,783
    vimfuego wrote:
    I bet you savages hang the paper under the roll too.....?
    Eh? Do you mean the free hanging bit of the loo roll against the wall side or the more practical outside hang which is easier to grab?

    exactly that
    CS7
    Surrey Hills
    What's a Zwift?
  • peatpeat Posts: 1,242
    washlet+remote+control.jpeg
    Anyone who's been to Japan will attest that wiping is an all together inferior cleaning experience.
  • briantrumpetbriantrumpet Posts: 14,076
    More to the point, why is French toilet paper sooooo small? Is there something about their cleaning habits I should know?
  • capt_slogcapt_slog Posts: 3,854
    Peat wrote:
    washlet+remote+control.jpeg
    Anyone who's been to Japan will attest that wiping is an all together inferior cleaning experience.

    I'd be very wary of those buttons, one of them could be an 'automatic tampon puller'. :shock:


    The older I get, the better I was.

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