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The 'Project document' files

pinnopinno Posts: 40,256
edited January 2017 in The bottom bracket
Thanks to corruption/inefficiency in Kenya, I have to start the process of putting together a pile of documents to replace the one's that got 'lost'. For the record, it will underline how bureaucratic life is in general. If you want to contribute your own story, feel free.

I need:
1 x Original Death certificate
1 x Copy of passport
2 x Passport photo's

Notarised, Legalised by the Foreign and Commonwealth office and authorised by the Kenya High Commission.

Step 1. Log in to the Births, Marriages and Deaths dot gov website. Password not recognised. Request new password. Password request does not materialise in the pre-requisite 1 hour.
Call them up, select from the following menu... wait... get played some funerealesque 'musak' (in the words of the immortal Spike M). Order a copy over the phone. "It will be sent on Tuesday". And now, the wait in this paperchain...
seanoconn - gruagach craic!

Posts

  • sungodsungod Posts: 13,221
    could be worse, could be nigeria

    i'd say i'm not bitter, but i'm bitter
    my bike - faster than god's and twice as shiny
  • pinnopinno Posts: 40,256
    Day 5.

    Received premium service Death cert,
    Contacted solicitor for Notary duties by email. Received an automatic out of office reply... here we go.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • team47bteam47b Posts: 6,424
    Only three bits of paper!

    Good job it's not Portugal :D

    I needed documents of my father before I could apply for a water meter, I said he is not Portuguese, they said that doesn't matter, I said he has never been to Portugal, they said that doesn't matter, I said he will never come to Portugal, they said that didn't matter, I said he was dead, they said that doesn't matter we need his documents for you to apply for a meter otherwise no water, I said I have a piece of pipe where the meter should be they came round the next day :D
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • sloppyschleckondssloppyschleckonds Posts: 8,019
    team47b wrote:
    I said I have a piece of pipe where the meter should be they came round the next day :D

    hUH?
    I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles
  • pinnopinno Posts: 40,256
    sloppyschleckonds wrote:
    team47b wrote:
    I said I have a piece of pipe where the meter should be they came round the next day :D

    hUH?

    I think there was a comma or a full stop missing. Perhaps it should read:

    I said I have a piece of pipe where the meter should be. They came round the next day.
    You'll have to forgive T47, he's been on the beer after curry.

    The inference was that as there was no meter, they couldn't charge him so it prompted action.
    Anyway, is there diminishing faculties issue with you Sloppy? :wink:
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • webboowebboo Posts: 3,169
    Maybe he's been having a drink with bartman.
  • team47bteam47b Posts: 6,424
    One bloody comma, I'm sure you could understand it, if you tried really hard :D

    Bartman drinks girly wine COMMA in girly quantities :wink:
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • pinnopinno Posts: 40,256
    team47b wrote:
    One bloody comma, I'm sure you could understand it, if you tried really hard :D

    Bartman drinks girly wine COMMA in girly quantities :wink:

    I heard that Bartman got porked by Aqua.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • pinnopinno Posts: 40,256
    ROFL. The documents arrived in Kenya. It was confirmed today. Oh well...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • sungodsungod Posts: 13,221
    they'll be on sale in the market by this afternoon
    my bike - faster than god's and twice as shiny
  • homers_doublehomers_double Posts: 6,703
    Are you offloading dodgy machinery to some poor african soul?
    Advocate of disc brakes.
  • team47bteam47b Posts: 6,424
    Here you need a license for everything and to get any license you need passport, ID card, residençia card, fiscal card, social security number, proof of address etc, pre the revolution in 1974 you had to use matches from the one state owned match company to light your cigarettes, if you wanted to use a lighter you had to get a license :D
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • FishFishFishFish Posts: 2,152
    Here you used to be required to get a dog license and also a radio license. Well if you had a dog and or a radio that is. If you had a dromedary or a brontosaurus then there was no need for a license.
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • capt_slogcapt_slog Posts: 3,447
    My lads girlfriend lost her mum when she was around 9 or 10 I think.

    They had all sorts of problems getting things transferred to the husband.

    One particular one was very bad though. He called the bank and explained the situation to some woman* there and she said that in order to transfer the funds from the account, she would have to speak to the [dead] wife. He pointed out that the reason he was wanting to transfer the account was because she was DEAD......

    Woman "I'll still need to speak to her first".
    Him "I'd love to speak to her too, let me know if you find a way".

    (*who I can only think must have been educationally sub-normal.)

    The girlfriend had similar problems at school. Shortly after the death of her mum, they made Mother's Day cards in class. The teacher insisted that she make a card, even though she knew the situation, was reminded again and it was obviously upsetting the kid to have to do it. ("Perhaps you'll be able to give it someone else?") It seems taking her out of the class and finding her something to do elsewhere for the afternoon was beyond her reasoning.


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • pinnopinno Posts: 40,256
    Capt Slog wrote:
    My lads girlfriend lost her mum when she was around 9 or 10 I think.

    They had all sorts of problems getting things transferred to the husband.

    One particular one was very bad though. He called the bank and explained the situation to some woman* there and she said that in order to transfer the funds from the account, she would have to speak to the [dead] wife. He pointed out that the reason he was wanting to transfer the account was because she was DEAD......

    Woman "I'll still need to speak to her first".
    Him "I'd love to speak to her too, let me know if you find a way".

    (*who I can only think must have been educationally sub-normal.)

    The girlfriend had similar problems at school. Shortly after the death of her mum, they made Mother's Day cards in class. The teacher insisted that she make a card, even though she knew the situation, was reminded again and it was obviously upsetting the kid to have to do it. ("Perhaps you'll be able to give it someone else?") It seems taking her out of the class and finding her something to do elsewhere for the afternoon was beyond her reasoning.

    The poor bloke in question must have been at the interlocution dept., or at least that's what I remember correctly or otherwise from the book.
    Baler is going to Poland along with installation, start up and service schedules. Hopefully Google translate is decipherable to him. We shall see.

    If the documents are being sold in the market, it will have to be sold as "my albino brother". That might be a stumbling block.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
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