The 'Project document' files

pinno

Thanks to corruption/inefficiency in Kenya, I have to start the process of putting together a pile of documents to replace the one's that got 'lost'. For the record, it will underline how bureaucratic life is in general. If you want to contribute your own story, feel free.

I need:
1 x Original Death certificate
1 x Copy of passport
2 x Passport photo's

Notarised, Legalised by the Foreign and Commonwealth office and authorised by the Kenya High Commission.

Step 1. Log in to the Births, Marriages and Deaths dot gov website. Password not recognised. Request new password. Password request does not materialise in the pre-requisite 1 hour.
Call them up, select from the following menu... wait... get played some funerealesque 'musak' (in the words of the immortal Spike M). Order a copy over the phone. "It will be sent on Tuesday". And now, the wait in this paperchain...

sungod

could be worse, could be nigeria

i'd say i'm not bitter, but i'm bitter

pinno

Day 5.

Received premium service Death cert,
Contacted solicitor for Notary duties by email. Received an automatic out of office reply... here we go.

team47b

Only three bits of paper!

Good job it's not Portugal

I needed documents of my father before I could apply for a water meter, I said he is not Portuguese, they said that doesn't matter, I said he has never been to Portugal, they said that doesn't matter, I said he will never come to Portugal, they said that didn't matter, I said he was dead, they said that doesn't matter we need his documents for you to apply for a meter otherwise no water, I said I have a piece of pipe where the meter should be they came round the next day

sloppyschleckonds

team47b wrote:

I said I have a piece of pipe where the meter should be they came round the next day

hUH?

pinno

SloppySchleckonds wrote:

team47b wrote:

I said I have a piece of pipe where the meter should be they came round the next day

hUH?

I think there was a comma or a full stop missing. Perhaps it should read:

I said I have a piece of pipe where the meter should be. They came round the next day.
You'll have to forgive T47, he's been on the beer after curry.

The inference was that as there was no meter, they couldn't charge him so it prompted action.
Anyway, is there diminishing faculties issue with you Sloppy?

webboo

Maybe he's been having a drink with bartman.

team47b

One bloody comma, I'm sure you could understand it, if you tried really hard

Bartman drinks girly wine COMMA in girly quantities

pinno

team47b wrote:

One bloody comma, I'm sure you could understand it, if you tried really hard

Bartman drinks girly wine COMMA in girly quantities

I heard that Bartman got porked by Aqua.

pinno

ROFL. The documents arrived in Kenya. It was confirmed today. Oh well...

sungod

they'll be on sale in the market by this afternoon

homers_double

Are you offloading dodgy machinery to some poor african soul?

team47b

Here you need a license for everything and to get any license you need passport, ID card, residençia card, fiscal card, social security number, proof of address etc, pre the revolution in 1974 you had to use matches from the one state owned match company to light your cigarettes, if you wanted to use a lighter you had to get a license

FishFish

Here you used to be required to get a dog license and also a radio license. Well if you had a dog and or a radio that is. If you had a dromedary or a brontosaurus then there was no need for a license.

capt_slog

My lads girlfriend lost her mum when she was around 9 or 10 I think.

They had all sorts of problems getting things transferred to the husband.

One particular one was very bad though. He called the bank and explained the situation to some woman* there and she said that in order to transfer the funds from the account, she would have to speak to the [dead] wife. He pointed out that the reason he was wanting to transfer the account was because she was DEAD......

Woman "I'll still need to speak to her first".
Him "I'd love to speak to her too, let me know if you find a way".

(*who I can only think must have been educationally sub-normal.)

The girlfriend had similar problems at school. Shortly after the death of her mum, they made Mother's Day cards in class. The teacher insisted that she make a card, even though she knew the situation, was reminded again and it was obviously upsetting the kid to have to do it. ("Perhaps you'll be able to give it someone else?") It seems taking her out of the class and finding her something to do elsewhere for the afternoon was beyond her reasoning.

pinno

Capt Slog wrote:

My lads girlfriend lost her mum when she was around 9 or 10 I think.

They had all sorts of problems getting things transferred to the husband.

One particular one was very bad though. He called the bank and explained the situation to some woman* there and she said that in order to transfer the funds from the account, she would have to speak to the [dead] wife. He pointed out that the reason he was wanting to transfer the account was because she was DEAD......

Woman "I'll still need to speak to her first".
Him "I'd love to speak to her too, let me know if you find a way".

(*who I can only think must have been educationally sub-normal.)

The girlfriend had similar problems at school. Shortly after the death of her mum, they made Mother's Day cards in class. The teacher insisted that she make a card, even though she knew the situation, was reminded again and it was obviously upsetting the kid to have to do it. ("Perhaps you'll be able to give it someone else?") It seems taking her out of the class and finding her something to do elsewhere for the afternoon was beyond her reasoning.

The poor bloke in question must have been at the interlocution dept., or at least that's what I remember correctly or otherwise from the book.
Baler is going to Poland along with installation, start up and service schedules. Hopefully Google translate is decipherable to him. We shall see.

If the documents are being sold in the market, it will have to be sold as "my albino brother". That might be a stumbling block.