Those Cycling Stupid Moments

airborne_warrior

So my new carbon clinchers have just arrived and in my haste to try them out I swap my tyres and innertubes out from my old wheels and head out the door like a 5 year old kid at Christmas! Two flats within 50 metres and I'm walking back to the house! When I take off the tyres I realise there's no rim tape on the wheels and both innertubes have spectacularly blown out.

I can deal with being retarded at times but with only one spare innertube left and my (not so local) LBS nearly 200 miles away in Dubai I'm going nowhere till weekend. At least the spinning bike will see some action :roll:

Anyone else got any stories of bike tomfoolery and general monginess?

fenix

Not sure you can use retarded in this sense.

sloppyschleckonds

Fenix wrote:

Not sure you can use retarded in this sense.

He bought carbon clinchers

rolf_f

Fenix wrote:

Not sure you can use retarded in this sense.

It passes the Family Guy test of politically correct political incorrectness.

keef66

Not cycling related but yesterday I was faffing with a double electric socket in the kitchen while tiling. One of the faceplate screws sheared off. Eventually I managed to grind it off and drill it out, retapped the threaded tab in the box, and refitted the faceplate with new screws. Standing back to admire my handiwork I thought something doesn't look quite right about it. Took me a few minutes to realise the thing was on upside down :roll:

Alain Quay

Ben6899

SloppySchleckonds wrote:

Fenix wrote:

Not sure you can use retarded in this sense.

He bought carbon clinchers

QFT

fenix

I do remember once noticing my bar end plug was working its way loose.

Never smack your handlebar end as you ride along. The bike doesn't seem to like it.....

crispybug2

Riding on rollers in my garage once, I was giving it some oomph when my neighbours cat jumped down from the garden fence and landed directly in front of me and my rollers!

The best thing I learnt from what followed is DON'T swerve to avoid the cat!!!


Also my then four year old daughter investigating the almighty racket learnt some brand new and very colourful words that took me and my wife months to eradicate from her vocabulary.

keef66

Fenix wrote:

I do remember once noticing my bar end plug was working its way loose.

Never smack your handlebar end as you ride along. The bike doesn't seem to like it.....

In a similar vein back in the early 70s I tried to kick my fork mounted light back into alignment while riding along. But missed and stuck my foot through the spokes. Which was ok for a second until the rotating foot reached the fork. At which point the bike abruptly stopped and did a kind of forward roll. I landed on my back on the road, shortly to be joined by the bike as it pinned me to the tarmac by my testicles. Which took my mind off the idea that I might have sliced my toes off.

Don't try that at home either

ddraver

Never try and adjust your shifter position (MTB, but still), using a multi tool whilst riding along, especially down a rocky track....

pinno

Fenix wrote:

I do remember once noticing my bar end plug was working its way loose.

Never smack your handlebar end as you ride along. The bike doesn't seem to like it.....

Last summer, I kept telling myself to get some new cleats as the old one's were looking more like a work of art rather than something that had a mechanical function. So, like all things labelled 'sundry', I put it off and put it off until...
Leaving for a ride, looking down on my front tyre in the gravel on the drive, trying to ascertain if the front tyre was a little soft or was the gravel making it look soft. Should I stop and check or should I just pedal away?
...and in that moment of indecision, I had slowed to standstill, couldn't pull left foot out of the cleat and went bang on to the deck. Due to the low speed off and simultaneously getting a monkey off my back, I was lying on my side unhurt, still attached to my bike and laughing like a kid on pop.

bbrap

Cleaning the chain with one of those chain cleaner thingys. Merrily winding the pedals backwards, handle on cleaner falls off (had not put it on properly), rest of it shoots forward to be mashed between chain and front chainring, chain cleaner fluid (dirty) gets flung everywhere along with bit of broken plastic. Then to add insult to injury I cut my finger on a shard of the plastic which was covered in the fluid, stings like buggery.

pinno

bbrap wrote:

Cleaning the chain with one of those chain cleaner thingys. Merrily winding the pedals backwards, handle on cleaner falls off (had not put it on properly), rest of it shoots forward to be mashed between chain and front chainring, chain cleaner fluid (dirty) gets flung everywhere along with bit of broken plastic. Then to add insult to injury I cut my finger on a shard of the plastic which was covered in the fluid, stings like buggery.

I hope you cleaned your finger with Muc-off.

oblongomaculatus

Bought some cleat covers recently to hopefully prolong the life of my cleats. Put them on the shoes, began getting ready for a ride; pumping up tyres, filling water bottle, generally faffing about. Finally get on the bike, then wonder why I can't clip in...

neilr4

oblongomaculatus wrote:

Bought some cleat covers recently to hopefully prolong the life of my cleats. Put them on the shoes, began getting ready for a ride; pumping up tyres, filling water bottle, generally faffing about. Finally get on the bike, then wonder why I can't clip in...

Done that more than once!!! :?

Matthewfalle

Old type fan assisted turbo trainer. Think it was a blue Tacx job but the fan bit was like this: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/imag ... JW_ZwMsQLK

The plastic fan cracked as I was happily turboing along. The rest of it shattered as I went flat out, leading to a billion shards of ultra sharp plastic flying into my thigh at the speed of ten thousand gazelles all running as fast as they could.

I grimaced manfully as I bled all along the driveway, through the house then grimaced manfully some more as TDV picked the bits of plastic out of my leg with some tweesers.....

capt_slog

I rode as far as Richmond Park on the RideLondon 100 with the back brake slightly on.

The caliper had been knocked off centre when the back wheel was out for transport and despite checking the bike very carefully I managed to miss that and it didn't start to rub until the first time the back brake was applied, and then only very lightly.

But it was enough, Son and I were riding through London with me panting, finding it difficult and both of us wondering how the hell I was going to finish if I was like THIS in the first 20 miles.

I realised there was a problem in Richmond park when it was bit quieter around us and I could hear it rubbing. I reached back and released the brake and it felt like the me and the bike just shot forward. :roll:

pinno

Cycling in Sweden one day in June '98, not knowing quite what my route was, I tried to make a U turn as I realised that I was heading the wrong way towards a busy road (well, 'busy' is not busy by our standards but there were plenty of quiet roads available).
As I turned left, suddenly my bike just would not move forward - very similar to when you haven't tightened your QR skewer and the back wheel jams but I was 100% certain I hadn't done that. I accelerated quickly as there was a gap on the traffic. I hit the deck in an unceremonious heap in the middle of the road, scratching my head and wondering why the hell the bike suddenly stopped.
A kindly Swedish bloke helped me up and was very considerate.
I didn't actually find any fault. That is, until I happened to be lifting my bike in a particular way some days later and saw the back brake pinch the rim just as the handlebars turned. I had a pair of Delta brakes and I had deliberately put the cable to the right of the seat post instead of the left because if anyone knows, you have to set them up with the tiniest tolerance for them to actually work (a little) and my tendency in the UK, if on the rare occasion, I was making an actual turn and not leaning, I would turn to the right.