Next Prime Minister and the Cruddy Cabinet
Gazlar
Posts: 8,084
Like the best toy on the market....this is a real double header
The first bit, a poll, not the name of an awesome band....but of the runners and riders, who do you want to see running this ere shambles of a country? I promise to abide by the result of the poll and do nothing.
And in a twist, if we were to launch a Crudder party to fight any forthcoming general election, who'd get what job in our cabinet? This will also help me reacquaint myself with whoever is on here.
In my own bid for the top job. lets just say i'm a bit of a bumbling idiot who is cleverer than he lets on, with a great track record of being the face of major events, who has spent a little bit of time pursuing other jobs, but now is back and looking to stir up shoot because people have asked me to.....sound familiar?
Now......talk!
The first bit, a poll, not the name of an awesome band....but of the runners and riders, who do you want to see running this ere shambles of a country? I promise to abide by the result of the poll and do nothing.
And in a twist, if we were to launch a Crudder party to fight any forthcoming general election, who'd get what job in our cabinet? This will also help me reacquaint myself with whoever is on here.
In my own bid for the top job. lets just say i'm a bit of a bumbling idiot who is cleverer than he lets on, with a great track record of being the face of major events, who has spent a little bit of time pursuing other jobs, but now is back and looking to stir up shoot because people have asked me to.....sound familiar?
Now......talk!
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Can i be minister for schools please, girls schools in particular, think i'd do a right good job, very hands on!Loving life in rural SW France
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Can I be minister of killing all chavs...
I promise to round up people who tuck there tracksuits into there socks, and enter them in a grand arena where we can watch them slaughter each other for entertainment for a small fee.. drinks and food available for purchase...0 -
Waylander has gone for the job I wanted, in that case I think I should be foreign secretary as I are foreign.
Can we change the rules of the referendum and make it so all the lying phucktards in the Leave campaign have to put their money where their mouths are and actually leave themselves, they can take the fucknuggets that voted for on racist grounds with them. Once their boats are beyond swimming distance we blow them up.0 -
Veronese68 wrote:Waylander has gone for the job I wanted, in that case I think I should be foreign secretary as I are foreign.
Can we change the rules of the referendum and make it so all the lying phucktards in the Leave campaign have to put their money where their mouths are and actually leave themselves, they can take the fucknuggets that voted for on racist grounds with them. Once their boats are beyond swimming distance we blow them up.
Can I suggest a modification?
Put them in my Grand Arena.. Lion feeding time is always popular with the crowds, as well as mass fighting events..0 -
Bg....I think we'd have to check your restraining order, although, what's the European courts gonna say now....yeah go on then, here s the ministerial haribo. Just promise you won't enter the young musician of the year!
Waylander...I believe the job that farks up chavs is called work and pension secretary, which as a grumpy self opinionated nerd, i'd say you're perfect for that role.
Veronese, as you are foreign, that would imply that you know too much about foreign stuff to be in charge of foreign stuff, maybe a role as immigration minister though, welcoming people into the country with a smile, a handshake a crossbow and a map of said fucktards?
Now this cabinet needs some lady crudders to serve under me!0 -
I can arrange for you a visitation with the lady chavs before they visit the arena... for the first time and the last! kind of like a last meal!0
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^ Diplomat in the Farage sense? Not being a racist, I mean telling people to be grown up about something then laughing at them and insulting them. There's diplomacy.0
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If you were any good as a spy you'd be one without me even knowing!
Waylander I'd rather touch those chav ladies with yours......bring me the nerd girls eager to be in my front bench!0 -
Can I apply for Transport Minister? I don't actually do anything so I'd fit in nicely.0
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Step83 wrote:Can I apply for Transport Minister? I don't actually do anything so I'd fit in nicely.
Hmm and the best way to ask is suggest to a serving train driver that they do nothing? I mean OK its true, we just don't want it broadcast.
So lazy, opinionated, think you're better than others....I'm singing you to the role of foreign secretary!0 -
I should be Chancellor of the Exchequer - see my efforts in cake stop fighting the dark forces of leftiebollox
"I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
Hey you've bagsied the job, you get to know the countries pin number, well that's actually pin as its personal identification number, pin number would be personal identification number number and we can't be having too many numbers....unless you have the number of actress Sophie Rundle, for personal reasons.
No get to work and make me some money0 -
I'll be Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs. I can dispose of any bodies that people want getting rid of by burning them to make electricity. I can also organise barbecues and food events (with beer of course) and then change all footpaths into bridal ways, and allow bikes everywhere!It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.
Join us on UK-MTB we won't bite, but bring cake!
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Good idea.. my arenas will provide you plenty of bodies... and solve food crisis...0
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We need a minister for hookers and ditches. Likewise a lime and string minister.
Any takers?"I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
Rural affairs, sounds promising! So essentially you're the minister for sheep worrying! Also in your remit is having Matt Baker erased for being Lucifer's representative on earth. I mean if killing a man is homicide and killing groups of men is genocide, then surely killing Matt Baker would be countryside. I may have spelled that wrong.
Lime and strings and ditch digging is culture, media and sport0 -
I declare no deaths outside the arena where we can money..0
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In my new roll as Foreign Secretary can I blag a visit to France? Ill take a tour bus an fill it with alcohol on the way back. Ill use diplomatic immunity to get round those pesky customs issues.
Any orders?0 -
Step83 wrote:In my new roll as Foreign Secretary can I blag a visit to France? Ill take a tour bus an fill it with alcohol on the way back. Ill use diplomatic immunity to get round those pesky customs issues.
Any orders?
Yeah get some gitanes and some galloises too, can flog them round the houses of parliament for a fiver a pack! Oh and some of those pain as chocolate go well with a nice glass of French red.0 -
Christ, what a list.none0
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Don't go too far in, there are some right wierdos if you go too far. Particularly in the Vienne region I believe.Step83 wrote:In my new roll as Foreign Secretary can I blag a visit to France? Ill take a tour bus an fill it with alcohol on the way back. Ill use diplomatic immunity to get round those pesky customs issues.
Any orders?0 -
Veronese68 wrote:
Don't go too far in, there are some right wierdos if you go too far. Particularly in the Vienne region I believe.Step83 wrote:In my new roll as Foreign Secretary can I blag a visit to France? Ill take a tour bus an fill it with alcohol on the way back. Ill use diplomatic immunity to get round those pesky customs issues.
Any orders?
Hellooooooooooo!
I can look after you, do you have any children? Little girls? A wife? Girlfriend?Loving life in rural SW France
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I would like to be cheif whip0
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Sorry, chief whip is a role reserved for lady crudders, I mean bread too have some equality in there, so it's that, the department of domestic science and the department of health (nurses and bed baths) out the question for the men. I'm you really want to hand out brains, you fancy the job of home secretary?0
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bg13 wrote:Veronese68 wrote:
Don't go too far in, there are some right wierdos if you go too far. Particularly in the Vienne region I believe.Step83 wrote:In my new roll as Foreign Secretary can I blag a visit to France? Ill take a tour bus an fill it with alcohol on the way back. Ill use diplomatic immunity to get round those pesky customs issues.
Any orders?
Hellooooooooooo!
I can look after you, do you have any children? Little girls? A wife? Girlfriend?
I believe in France you can still purchase children for a reasonable rate. The luggage area in these political tour buses isn't bad so can stash a few0 -
Job.. its a loose use of the word..0
