Nothing I say....

Debeli

... on the topic of bicycle maintenance has any validity from this moment on.

I beamed some weeks ago in another thread about how a generous neighbour had given me an old aluminium Spesh Langster he no longer used.

It was lovely, but in need of love and attention. Off came all the parts, in went a new BB and new cones for the front wheel.

I re-sprayed it from dog-poo brown with strange skull decals to a lovely shade of Maglia Rosa pink.

Every part came off, was replaced or cleaned and re-fitted with appropriate grease and care.

Then, after a few runs to the shop I took it for its first proper ride. After two miles of which one of my shoes started to move in an eccentric fashion. Surely Crank Bros cleats hadn't come loose?

No, they hadn't..... A few hundred yards further up the road the left crank parted company with the bicycle. There is almost no sillier feeling on the planet than riding up a hill with one foot waving in the air, attached to an egg-beater and a swinging crank.

Luckily for me, the bike was in fixed mode, so the ride home was easy if slightly comical.

It would appear that I'd neglected to tighten the crank on as God (or similar) intended.

I hereby denounce any technical advice I have ever given on this or any other forum as baseless and mendacious. The same applies to any advice I may feel obliged to offer in future.

I never found the missing bolt, but know where it probably is to within half a mile or so.

lakesluddite

Ah...one of the great DOH! moments. I remember having a pedal come of the crank-arm midway up a shallow climb, and I too had my foot just dangling there, pedal attached to cleat. God knows how I kept upright. Fortunately for me I had the appropriate allen key to re-attach it.

morstar

As a twenty something youngster, my crown jewels just escaped smashing the top tube when my crank fell off accelerating away from a junction whilst stood up on the pedals. Still hurt, but could have hurt a lot more. Borrowed my dads ratchet set to re-attach it properly after that. (square taper bb for you youngsters).

Anonymous

Have to put my hand up and admit to doing the same. Didn't tighten up a BB30 10mm alan key socket enough and after about 5km the offside crank came off. I tried to rethread it back on with my finger only to rip my fingernail to bits.

N0bodyOfTheGoat

A left crank randomly loosening off and then falling off part way up a hill, without having done any maintenance previously, has only ever happened to me once. The ride home felt odd pretty much right from the off, but I couldn't put my finger on what was going on, as I'd never experienced anything like it before while riding. I felt like a right spanner for not working out what had been going on for ~10mins before that "ding ding ding" moment as the crank bounced to a halt on the tarmac! Fortunately I had my multi-tool with me at the time to sort it out, but I felt a massive tool for not realising what was going on (crank bolts were very loose) when I left work and wondered how the heck they suddenly came so loose since cycling in that morning.

Magem

Queue Circus music.

slowmart

I seriously censored up with my Aston Martin.

Its a dry sump and I kept filling up the engine until the oil registered on the feeler gauge.

Cue low loader and a bill from the Aston garage to drain the engine and refill with fresh oil.

In the words of a mechanic at the dealership, " I don't which is worse, owners that don't touch their cars or owners who do"

That was me told!

Now fast forward to a quick bunch of cyclists and me, who is not so quick. I have a puncture, its winter and cold. I'm not adept with working with my hands and I'm a slower inner tube changer than cyclist

The moral, accept the limitations of nature and adapt!