Scumday
pinno
Posts: 52,610
I think I have got the full list of rules for soft play areas:
1. Do not talk to anybody unless it is to berate a child that isn't yours.
2. Assume that your child is superior to any other child and treat those others with contempt.
3. Shake your head earnestly and condescendingly when another child acts up.
4. Ignore any coerciveness, rough or boystrous behaviour unless it is directed at your child.
5. Leave all your half eaten sh1t lying around to be spilt, nicked and cleaned up by someone else.
6. Buy lost of fizzy drinks and sweats for your children so that they become hyperactive and put of control.
7. Sit there with your phone texting relentlessly, occasionally looking up to correct your child to make it look like you are actually parenting.
8. Create the most mess you possibly can whilst in the toilet and fill the toilet bowl up with as much bog roll as possible so that it will imminently stop flushing.
Meh.
Laters.
1. Do not talk to anybody unless it is to berate a child that isn't yours.
2. Assume that your child is superior to any other child and treat those others with contempt.
3. Shake your head earnestly and condescendingly when another child acts up.
4. Ignore any coerciveness, rough or boystrous behaviour unless it is directed at your child.
5. Leave all your half eaten sh1t lying around to be spilt, nicked and cleaned up by someone else.
6. Buy lost of fizzy drinks and sweats for your children so that they become hyperactive and put of control.
7. Sit there with your phone texting relentlessly, occasionally looking up to correct your child to make it look like you are actually parenting.
8. Create the most mess you possibly can whilst in the toilet and fill the toilet bowl up with as much bog roll as possible so that it will imminently stop flushing.
Meh.
Laters.
seanoconn - gruagach craic!
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Comments
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As a single man with no children I just have two rules for any kind of play area
Walk past as quickly as possible
Don't make eye contactwww.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes0 -
How dare you have fun, money and sleep!As a single man with no children I just have two rules for any kind of play area
Walk past as quickly as possible
Don't make eye contact
Sort yourself out, find a woman that will mate with you ASAP and suffer like the rest of us.Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי0 -
Nice ride this morning.
Grandson at ours all day playing in our newly refurbished garden.
Pub dinner*
Now wine.
Pretty awesome day really.
*wasnt that good
Advocate of disc brakes.0 -
Slow start to the day with a mild hangover and no kids in the house was very pleasant. Spent the afternoon pottering about fixing stuff. Just chilling now.0
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Early morning ride which was lumpy and quick with a light lunch of scrambled eggs and smoked salmon.
A few episodes of Narcos followed by cooking with copious amounts of alcohol.
Feeling rather weary now...“Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”
Desmond Tutu0 -
Evevin all,
A few jobs done, a few hound related problems that needed to be dealt with. Apart from that pretty dull really. At least pedalling is involved tomorrow."I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
Not seen you in the football thread this weekend Stevo, you do know the international break is over?0
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Not seen you in the football thread this weekend Stevo, you do know the international break is over?
"It's all gone quiet over there, it's all gone quiet over there..."seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
Slow start to the day with a mild hangover and no kids in the house was very pleasant. Spent the afternoon pottering about fixing stuff. Just chilling now.
Are you sure that's a good idea? Won't you end up with stitches in your head?seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
Good day - after last nights excess at the family party (turns out wearing a tux with bib shorts attracts a lot of attention)
Today has involed a nice ride to pick up the car, a few jobs and then the pub with the wife's old man - too much beer and whiskey but fun0 -
Good day - after last nights excess at the family party (turns out wearing a tux with bib shorts attracts a lot of attention)
Today has involed a nice ride to pick up the car, a few jobs and then the pub with the wife's old man - too much beer and whiskey but fun
We can tell.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
How dare you have fun, money and sleep!As a single man with no children I just have two rules for any kind of play area
Walk past as quickly as possible
Don't make eye contact
Sort yourself out, find a woman that will mate with you ASAP and suffer like the rest of us.
I'm working on it, they usually figure out there are better fish in the sea long before children seem like a good idea!!! Soon I'll get to the age when I'll be the best of a bad bunch!
www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes0 -
How dare you have fun, money and sleep!As a single man with no children I just have two rules for any kind of play area
Walk past as quickly as possible
Don't make eye contact
Sort yourself out, find a woman that will mate with you ASAP and suffer like the rest of us.
I'm working on it, they usually figure out there are better fish in the sea long before children seem like a good idea!!! Soon I'll get to the age when I'll be the best of a bad bunch!
You are flattering yourself.
Come to Stranraer, i'll fix you up or else go to Club Bongo in Middlesbrough on a Saturday night - You'll leave with a woman even if you don't want to.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
Painted a wall, then watched it dry.my isetta is a 300cc bike0
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Painted a wall, then watched it dry.
There is some potential poeticism in the observation of drying paint but you will have to explain exactly what. Oddly, there lies a parallel with conceptual art.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
Why do I get the idea that your family is a bit like 'Meet the Fockers' crossed with 'The Hangover' ?Good day - after last nights excess at the family party (turns out wearing a tux with bib shorts attracts a lot of attention)
Today has involed a nice ride to pick up the car, a few jobs and then the pub with the wife's old man - too much beer and whiskey but fun
"I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
How dare you have fun, money and sleep!As a single man with no children I just have two rules for any kind of play area
Walk past as quickly as possible
Don't make eye contact
Sort yourself out, find a woman that will mate with you ASAP and suffer like the rest of us.
Soon I'll get to the age when I'll be the best of a bad bunch!
And with no baggage you'll be fighting them off Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי0 -
Run out of puncture repair patches Seano ?seanoconn - gruagach craic!0
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Not yet, kinky copulation finished, an episode of House of cards watched and now hoping it stops raining in Flushing Meadow so I can find some free streaming for the US Open final.Run out of puncture repair patches Seano ?Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי0 -
Why do I get the idea that your family is a bit like 'Meet the Fockers' crossed with 'The Hangover' ?Good day - after last nights excess at the family party (turns out wearing a tux with bib shorts attracts a lot of attention)
Today has involed a nice ride to pick up the car, a few jobs and then the pub with the wife's old man - too much beer and whiskey but fun 0 -
Woke up on Sunday feeling better than I deserved after some 32oz steaks and too much wine on Saturday. Recovered at my friends parentals as they were providing a birthday bbq for him and the family. Nothing productive was done but hey ho.0
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And with no baggage you'll be fighting them off
That's the plan! Or find some mentally fragile divorcee who got a very large payout from her previous marriage and I can live a life of luxury whilst browsing ashley madison type sites!www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes0 -
And with no baggage you'll be fighting them off
That's the plan! Or find some mentally fragile divorcee who got a very large payout from her previous marriage and I can live a life of luxury whilst browsing ashley madison type sites!
If you find that rich girl, you will be able to afford gong on Ashley Madison - win/win.
@seano: which sheep pen is 'Flushing meadows'?seanoconn - gruagach craic!0
