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groom speach

wannabecyclistwannabecyclist Posts: 149
edited June 2015 in The cake stop
Some feedback for my speach will be great. Dont worry the names are made up! I appreciate reading it on paper and when you dont know the people involved it may not come across the same but any feedback wiil be great I am very nervous!

Hello everyone. Right, in the nicest possible way I want to get this over with as soon as possible so we can get outside and enjoy the views and you all stop looking at me. Just to warn you I am going to do 2 or 3 toasts so pace out your champagne as Nic only let me get 1 glass per person, apparently if I drink more than that I fall asleep under trees or my mum and dads bathroom floor.
First of all, on behalf of my Wife, Nicola James and I, we truly thank you all for coming. There are people that have travelled a great distance, mainly from my side of family as Nics relatives just had to roll out of bed to get here. Gareth and his partner Annika have come all the way from Australia to be here so have come the furthest. Gareth is the one with the fantastic beard. In fact there are many amazing beards around today, there is even one on this table, I could put in my first mother in law joke there but may be a bit too early.
So everyone in this room, we are truly happy every single one of you are here. We have met some amazing people in our lives, obviously family but friends, work mates, school mates, travelling friends and you have all been a big part of our lives at some point so it is brilliant to have you all in the same room at once. With me doing shift work, having large families spread around the country it is hard to see everyone as much as we should so you are all truly valued.

When we were looking at venues we really liked this one as it was so near to the church that Nics family have an attachment to and the views are amazing even if it is not a beautiful sunny day. We were a bit worried that half the people in the room would be a bit separated from us due to the pillars though. If it is any consolation to the people in the other half, you are literally in one of the safest parts of the world right now. That side are paramedics, physios, doctors and emergency plnners. If a bomb went off now, this side will be in trouble but over there will carry on as if nothing happened. Not only that, there are a couple of police officers there so will probably arrest the person responsible.
Family and friends toast

Now for a lot of thank yous. When you all sat down you would have noticed a great looking cup cake. These were made by Teresa so a clap for Teresa please as it was delicious. She also made the cake topper.
We have 2 wedding cakes, so a clap for Verina and Nics Auntie Sheila. Not as loud though, we haven’t tasted them yet they may not be very nice.
We had 2 readings in the church. My sister Katie did one, she is probably the cleverest person in our family so we were in safe hands there. And a reading from Nics friend Becca, though I was disappointed she didn’t do a joint one with her partner Jimmy and turn it in to a dance or some kind of rap battle.
To the bridesmaids, it is a cliché but so true how amazing do they all look. When Nic wrote down her list of bridesmaids I think it was about 20. She has so many close friends that she has been bridesmaid for but she also has a fair few god daughters which is why they are so young and supported by nics sister Laura. Laura has been a brilliant support to Nic and an amazing Aunt to Caitlin and organised a great hen do apparently. Normally it is the elder sister that offers the wisdom and leads by example, but I have lost count of how many times Laura has to pick Nic up from town after she has had a few too many.

The ushers Rhys, John Mark, Liam and Jacob look amazing in the suits I picked, gorgeous in fact. They will be up on ebay in a few days so look out for them. The suits that is not the ushers. The youngest is my very first nephew Jacob. He is not old enough to buy a drink yet so he will probably be at the bar trying to get you to buy him one later. Get him a Guinness if his mum isn’t looking, his birthday is st Patricks day so he needs to get used to it.
I’ve got 2 best men today. I have known them both almost all my life since our first school aged ¾ years old I guess. We have started school together, I have copied their homework, won cricket tournaments and played for some terrible football teams as well as the odd good one. Tom Parker is an accountant setting up his own business the last couple of years. Any self-employed here need your books doing give him a shout. He is also a lifeguard. So if any ladies are looking like they are struggling he may well swoop in later and try mouth to mouth resuscitation. He is also single, so if there are any single ladies here, you know, why not? I would mention who the single ladies are but I don’t want to embarrass Sarah, Hannah, and Kelly amongst others. Also Emily is not single but her partner couldn’t make it so who knows. What happens on a wedding day stays on a wedding day. I will remain neutral and not say which one for him to set his sights on but apparently Sarah has her own room tonight. Also she must be feeling confident as when she phoned up to book her room she said only 1 person would be checking in but would need breakfast for 2…

The other bestman is also called Tom. He isn’t single sadly ladies, but when his nickname is Big Willy you are never going to be available for long. He is a PE teacher and one of those annoying people that is great at all sports. We played 5 a side football for the last couple of years of our distinguished years. Games typically ended 19-17 high scoring. He became injured and left and we realised he was scoring all our goals and we started losing 17-0 so the team didn’t last much longer.
Today really wouldn’t be possible without the help of our parents. We could all be here but probably one meal between 2. We do have presents for them but will sort that out another day as I want to get this speech over with asap and we don’t want this to be an awards ceremony. My dad probably doesn’t need a present though, he is just glad he is attending one of his kids marriages without having to do a speech. My mum and dad have been an amazing support for me and then nic when they met her. They spent their weekends and evenings when I was young travelling around taking me to football and cricket matches, they seemed overly keen to kick me out of the house when I was a teenager to go travelling for a year, but they let me come back each time and also let nic and I move in for a few months when we were buying our house. They have probably lost count of how many grandchildren they have now as there are so many, but they still have time to look after Caitlin, especially last few months when nic and I have been busy sorting out today.
Pam and Ian are first time grandparents but alo have been great with Caitlin. I think the reason Caitlin is so kind hearted and literally wants to cuddle and kiss everyone is because of the love she is shown by our parents.
Pam and Ian have been so welcoming to me since I first met them. I was a little worried about today as Nic and I were on holiday in Iceland when I proposed. I had gone outside the night before to phone Ian to ask for permission but it was so windy where I was I couldn’t actually hear him very well and wasn’t actually sure if he said yes. Seeing as he brought her down the isle though I guess he didn’t mind.
Pam, Nics mum, started calling herself my mother in law in the first few months of meeting her, obviously realisng what a good thing Nic had got hold of. She has always made me feel at home in their house. When she makes ypu luchh it is literally what bread do you want, how many tomatoes, how much cucumber, do you want sauce in it. I am sure she is great working in teaching and helping Ian on the farm but she should really have worked in Subway.
TOAST parents
I am standing here today as quite simply one of the luckiest people alive and I am not sure how I have got in the position to call Nic my Wife. She looks incredible today and it does still feel like a dream. Nic is the most caring, thoughtful and kind hearted person you could meet and is truly an incredible mum to Caitlin. We’ve named the tables today after places we have travelled to, my photos and printouts don’t do them justice we have been to some of the most amazing cities, towns, waterfalls and beaches in the world and to have Nic by my side whilst we were doing it makes it extra special and an experience I will never forget.
In the last couple of years I have changed jobs to try something more interesting which ment cutting my salary in half. With raising Caitlin and having a wedding to pay for you would think your partner would panic but Nic hasn’t once complained and has been a great support encouraging me to be happy and enjoy life in everything we do.
I’ve met and loved being part of her large family where she has aunties that aren’t really aunties, Christmas dinners where 25 people sit round a table that should only fit 10 and have a great time.
She has lifelong friends like the Cowen Mason Gills. That is 3 separate families, they aren’t really posh with a triple barrelled name. They aren’t posh at all. We have had pre Christmas meals and curry nights where I have drunk more alchohol in one evening than my entire 3 years at Uni.
So I am amazed to be in this position with Nic by my side. However, I think I should get a little credit as well for some of the things I have to put up with. I have lost count of the number of times I have cooked a great meal, full of taste and flavour only for Nic to pour half a bottle of ketchup over it. She is probably the only person aged under 90 that watches Murdoch mysteries. Trying to speak to her whilst she is engrossed in episodes of Grays Anatomy or Castle should come with a health warning. She has lived in the south for a few years now and ocaasionaly falls in to some weird accent teying to fit in. If you haven’t heard this before, think of a cross betweem Bianca from Eastenders and censored Van censored in Mary Poppins. Also whilst Nic is incredibly tolerant, you could be a UKIP supporter and she will still speak to you, park badly in our street and take up more space required she will never speak to you again.
But in all seriousness I am so glad to have Nic in my life. I can’t wait to see what happens and where we go and I love having our own little family with an amazing daughter who is almost stealing the show today.So if you could please take your champagne and stand up, quite simply, to NIC TOAST.

Pass over


  • DeVlaeminckDeVlaeminck Posts: 7,793
    To be honest I don't like it but then I'm not going to be in the audience.
    [Castle Donington Ladies FC - going up in '22]
  • QuinsQuins Posts: 239
    It does it for me, enjoyed it. Covers all bases, thanks , humour etc, not stuffy...I'm sure you know your audience well enough for the banter. A bit of anxiety is good for performance but not so that you are crippled by nerves. Confident, clear delivery. Once you are up and into it you will enjoy it. Practice So that you are saying it out louder than you normally speak, even with a mic, everyone wants to hear it, otherwise they will switch off, get bored , feel left out. Are you having best man speeches? If so , how long are they? Get an idea of how long your speeches might take, and decide if that time is appropriate for your audience.

    Wishing you all the best for your day. The day goes super quick.
  • secretsamsecretsam Posts: 4,904
    I wrote half a dozen notes on a page and winged it. Job done. Reading from a page makes if feel contrived and lacks spontaneity. Better to say something from the heart that's a bit wobbly than come across like a computer.

    But then, I've "done" the whole presentation thing, in front of hundreds of people, and it really doesn't bother me. So as long as you're saying what you want, I guess it's fine.

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • jawoogajawooga Posts: 530
    First of all congratulations and have a great time.

    Having done both Groom and Best Man's speech, I can say as most will concur, the Grooms speech is easier and your chance to address all your friends and family. That is because you don't have to be funny and everyone is willing you to do well and is genuinely interested in hearing what you to say from the heart. In fact, the best humour in a Groom's speech is the light hearted throw away comments that are not scripted.

    It's not my place to advise you to change anything because you should say what you want to say, but with the above in mind, I agree with Secret Sam - distil your speech in to half a dozen key bullet points and try to talk unscripted around each for just a minute or two. Doesn't sound a lot! But there's a 10 minute speech. Possibly leave out the scripted gags, that's your best man's job and detracts from the warmth of your own speech. As I say, it's the unscripted comments to stage left that just come to you at the spur of the moment that will get the laughs should you need them.
  • capt_slogcapt_slog Posts: 3,705
    As said above, you don't have to be funny. I've not read it word for word, but to me it looks rather long.

    You know your audience, but the "Big Willy" references would go if it was me, as would anything that might cause offence, even if you really meant it as a joke. (eg mother in law's beard, and the 'not too loud clap for the cakes'; you might regret that if they actually turn out to be censored ).

    It's sort of traditional to begin the grooms speech with "My wife and I", the older people will like it and give you a cheer.

    The older I get, the better I was.

  • BobbinogsBobbinogs Posts: 4,841
    I am with the above, forget the jokes about big willies and that. Many weddings have young children and some older folks who really won't see the funny side of having to explain that or any other smutty reference.

    I also dislike speeches that sound like someone reading it all just ends up sounding boring. The usual way around this is to use speech notes/cards. Just a few, each with a single word or sentence on to remind the speaker what bits to cover off. It also makes it very easy to skip stuff without losing your place so that the overall time can be kept in check.

    Keep it natural, don't try and be funny if you are not and just try to relax and reflect the happy occasion with a few well chosen words.
  • GiantDanceGiantDance Posts: 129
    joe2008 wrote:
    Mine was simple: I stood up, looked at my wife and said "Darling, today you have left me speechless", I raised my glass and sat down.

    Genius, I'm using that one.
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  • briantrumpetbriantrumpet Posts: 10,105
    I'd also suggest trying to speak from brief notes, and keeping it short and heartfelt. Get their attention with some thought about the day, thank everyone who's put the show together warmly for what they've one to make your day special (do write down a list of names, as it's ever so easy to forget someone), and tell your by-then-wife how much she means to you (leaving out the bedroom part and any unusual practices, obviously). And make sure that your best man doesn't use the phrase (as I heard at one wedding) "If you do this again...".
  • craigus89craigus89 Posts: 887

    Just don't try too hard to be funny and you'll be fine.
  • gweedsgweeds Posts: 2,400
    I see about 40 of these a year (wedding photographer)

    Without fail the best ones are not read from notes word for word. And they're kept short.
    Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
  • DeVlaeminckDeVlaeminck Posts: 7,793
    I think there is some good advice there - keep it short and sweet, cut out the jokes at others expense or anything that some may consider too course. Above all don't use any double entendres, that said there are people who could go against all that advice and pull it off.
    [Castle Donington Ladies FC - going up in '22]
  • fatsmokerfatsmoker Posts: 585
    I liked the beard gag with your grandma. Squeeze that in earlier - Get them laughing at the start, end on a laugh and nobody will remember the middle.
  • drlodgedrlodge Posts: 4,826
    Let the best man do all the funny stuff, as groom keep your speech short. Its mainly just thanking/praising all those involved (bride, bridesmaids, best man, relatives etc) in an appropriate manner.
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  • ugo.santaluciaugo.santalucia Posts: 26,758
    drlodge wrote:
    Let the best man do all the funny stuff, as groom keep your speech short. Its mainly just thanking/praising all those involved (bride, bridesmaids, best man, relatives etc) in an appropriate manner.

  • tlw1tlw1 Posts: 20,611
    drlodge wrote:
    Let the best man do all the funny stuff, as groom keep your speech short. Its mainly just thanking/praising all those involved (bride, bridesmaids, best man, relatives etc) in an appropriate manner.


    Agree, there becomes a danger of it being a stand up competition (excuse the pun)
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