What has Top Gear Made You Do?
chris_bass
Posts: 4,913
Given the post in the cake stop in which people were moaning about Clarkson brainwashing the otherwise clever and intelligent public into intentionally running cyclists off the road I was wondering what else top gear had forced people into doing.
I for one was forced into reminiscing about a late 90s (that's 1990s not a pensioner version of) Gillian Anderson.
Over the last few years I have also woken up from a daze and found myself to be wearing a garish jacket and jeans combo.
These monsters must be stopped. People can't be expected to do anything other than blindly follow what they say or do.
I for one was forced into reminiscing about a late 90s (that's 1990s not a pensioner version of) Gillian Anderson.
Over the last few years I have also woken up from a daze and found myself to be wearing a garish jacket and jeans combo.
These monsters must be stopped. People can't be expected to do anything other than blindly follow what they say or do.
www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
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Top Gear made me think of Gillian Anderson, then you made me think of Eva Mendes. Between the two I got very hot under the collar.
James May came into the shop here about 4 years ago. Lots of people bothered him, eventually I was called upon to serve him as nobody else could cope with his enquiry. We had quite a long chat and I thought he was alright, but I couldn't help taking the mick a bit. I told him that Clarkson seemed a bit of a knobber and that my son, 12 at the time, seemed to be their target audience. I also told him he should have bought the TR6 he was looking at buying a short time before. The people that inspected it for him wound up buying it themselves it was so good. He swore at that point. If Top Gear was better I wouldn't have had such a strong urge to extract the urine.
Oh, I've run over a few cyclists because "they made me do it, honest."0 -
I bought a reasonably priced family car.Advocate of disc brakes.0
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I run over cyclists, not because of Topgear but because they can't seem to hold a line or signal their intentions (or they have bad/no lights as is the case with one commuter).
It jhas made me laugh at a lot of people who bite at the troll nature of the show, does that count?0 -
Top Gear has made me do sweet FA. Its a tv programme
If anyone has had their behaviours changed because of Clarkson please PM me and I'll get you to transfer all your cash to me.“Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”
Desmond Tutu0 -
Reach for the remote0
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I've done a few timed laps of the Top Gear test track. Great fun. Never would have done that if it wasn't for the show."I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0
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Made me laugh often, now watch with finger on fast forward.0
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Top Gear and UKIP have one thing in common: they keep their respective mindless audience entertained in the absence of Alf Garnett.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0
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I dunno, he's come out with some good lines in the past.
Jeremy Clarkson certainly has a way with words. One of my personal favorites was in reference to the new Caparo T1. “When this thing goes on sale, there isn’t going to be a ditch in the land or a hedge row that isn’t full of Premiership footballers who are broken and on fire.” Enjoy.
1. “I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.”
2. [On the Porsche Boxster] “It couldn’t pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.”
3. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel] “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.”
4. “I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.”
5. “Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”
6. “Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what… being stabbed?”
7. [On Detroit] “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.”
8. “Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.”
9. [On the Renault Clio V6] “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”
10. [On the Enzo Ferrari] “I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.”
11. [On the Porsche Cayenne] “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”
12. “The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.”
13. “Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”
14. “If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.”
15. “That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.”
16. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] “The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”
17. [On the Alfa Romeo Brera] “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t
you?”
18. “A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”
19. “This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!’”
20. “In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.”
21. [On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG] “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”
22. “I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.”
23. “Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.”
24. “Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”
25. “I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”"I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
It's made me have some great nights...... Are we talking about the same top gear?0
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Can't believe grown adults get their Y fronts in a twist about a telly programme as evidenced in some recent threads.
FFS It's "Last of the Summer Wine " with cars. Sometimes entertaining, sometimes not. In common with most shows really...
Oh except Eastenders and X Factor which are always shite.0 -
Stevo, you forgot to put in an Alfa quote:
(On the Alfa Romeo Brera) Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You've heard she's mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn't you?Scott S40 Speedster
Dialled Stay Strong MX20R
I no longer live in an ivory tower, these days it's vintage white :shock:0 -
AlexMac1973 wrote:Stevo, you forgot to put in an Alfa quote:
(On the Alfa Romeo Brera) Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You've heard she's mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn't you?
number 17 sounds mighty similar!www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes0 -
We cycled past Clarkson and team when he was in the sticks just outside of Middlesbrough when the show came to MIMA. As we all called him a wanker etc he shouted "GET A CAR!".
I still haven't bought one. So that's something Top Gear hasn't made me do."A cyclist has nothing to lose but his chain"
PTP Runner Up 20150 -
Turn TV off0
