Does mtb make you infertile

pesky_jones
pesky_jones Posts: 2,890
edited October 2014 in The Crudcatcher
Recently been pranging myself out over cycling. I've already smoked enough to decrease my chances and I dont want to further it.

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Comments

  • Chunkers1980
    Chunkers1980 Posts: 8,035
    You need to actually have sex (with a girl) for it to matter.
  • pesky_jones
    pesky_jones Posts: 2,890
    Good point, you can tell by my frequenting/ post count on an internet forum that this isn't an issue :lol:
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    No idea, but I'm sure posts like this are going to give me cancer :x
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  • pesky_jones
    pesky_jones Posts: 2,890
    I've heard it does. The guy from embarrasing bodies said it did so it must be true?! He knows a lot about bodies
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    I've heard it does. The guy from embarrasing bodies said it did so it must be true?! He knows a lot about bodies

    Haha, probably because he himself is f*cking mutant!

    If it makes you feel any better I'm smoke and ride bikes and have still managed to produce a mini-me ;)
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  • cooldad
    cooldad Posts: 32,599
    Easy cruddie solution to that question.

    Find hooker.
    Impregnate.
    Store in basement for a few months. (Don't forget to feed)
    Inspect for growth.
    Visit favourite ditch.
    I don't do smileys.

    There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda

    London Calling on Facebook

    Parktools
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    cooldad wrote:
    Easy cruddie solution to that question.

    Find hooker.
    Impregnate.
    Store in basement for a few months. (Don't forget to feed)
    Inspect for growth.
    Visit favourite ditch.

    You forgot visit B&Q to buy spade, gaffer tape and tarpaulin.
    Current:
    NukeProof Mega FR 2012
    Cube NuRoad 2018
    Previous:
    2015 Genesis CdF 10, 2014 Cube Hyde Race, 2012 NS Traffic, 2007 Specialized SX Trail, 2005 Specialized Demo 8
  • nicklouse
    nicklouse Posts: 50,675
    some friends of mine both MTB and Road cycle now have twins.
    "Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
    Parktools :?:SheldonBrown
  • nicklouse
    nicklouse Posts: 50,675
    CitizenLee wrote:
    cooldad wrote:
    Easy cruddie solution to that question.

    Find hooker.
    Impregnate.
    Store in basement for a few months. (Don't forget to feed)
    Inspect for growth.
    Visit favourite ditch.

    You forgot visit B&Q to buy spade, gaffer tape and tarpaulin.


    what is wrong with the left overs from last time?
    "Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
    Parktools :?:SheldonBrown
  • cooldad
    cooldad Posts: 32,599
    CitizenLee wrote:
    cooldad wrote:
    Easy cruddie solution to that question.

    Find hooker.
    Impregnate.
    Store in basement for a few months. (Don't forget to feed)
    Inspect for growth.
    Visit favourite ditch.

    You forgot visit B&Q to buy spade, gaffer tape and tarpaulin.
    Fool. Any self respecting crudder already has those. And well used at that.
    I don't do smileys.

    There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda

    London Calling on Facebook

    Parktools
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    Haha, bloody hell :D
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    NukeProof Mega FR 2012
    Cube NuRoad 2018
    Previous:
    2015 Genesis CdF 10, 2014 Cube Hyde Race, 2012 NS Traffic, 2007 Specialized SX Trail, 2005 Specialized Demo 8
  • pesky_jones
    pesky_jones Posts: 2,890
    cooldad wrote:
    Easy cruddie solution to that question.

    Find hooker.
    Impregnate.
    Store in basement for a few months. (Don't forget to feed)
    Inspect for growth.
    Visit favourite ditch.

    But what happens if my baby turns out to be like her mum, and becomes a hooker herself? She'll indefinitely start using hard drugs, and start fixating about the identity and whereabouts of her mother (which i've kept secret for obvious reasons). Then, one day, it will all become clear in a drug induced craze and she will fall into a mad frenzy. She'll seek revenge for her deceased mother and I'll be the one in the ditch. Moral of the story, hookers arent for babies.
  • Chunkers1980
    Chunkers1980 Posts: 8,035
    Have you migrated to crack?
  • cooldad
    cooldad Posts: 32,599
    You're overthinking this.
    Hooker - ditch.

    The rest

    SucklingPigInnAtTheCrossRoadsSariannLehrer0568w.jpg

    Nonmnomnom
    I don't do smileys.

    There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda

    London Calling on Facebook

    Parktools
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    Have you migrated to crack?

    So moving to crack for the winter and then back to smack when things start to warm up in spring?
    Current:
    NukeProof Mega FR 2012
    Cube NuRoad 2018
    Previous:
    2015 Genesis CdF 10, 2014 Cube Hyde Race, 2012 NS Traffic, 2007 Specialized SX Trail, 2005 Specialized Demo 8
  • pesky_jones
    pesky_jones Posts: 2,890
    CitizenLee wrote:

    If it makes you feel any better I'm smoke and ride bikes and have still managed to produce a mini-me ;)

    Really? Yeah it does thanks :)

    Does yours look like this as well then?

    IMAG0867_zpss702tdvy.jpg
  • pesky_jones
    pesky_jones Posts: 2,890
    Have you migrated to crack?

    Huh? Sum1 say crck!? U gt sum crack?
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227

    Really? Yeah it does thanks :)

    Does yours look like this as well then?

    IMAG0867_zpss702tdvy.jpg

    More like the centre of a Cream Egg.
    Current:
    NukeProof Mega FR 2012
    Cube NuRoad 2018
    Previous:
    2015 Genesis CdF 10, 2014 Cube Hyde Race, 2012 NS Traffic, 2007 Specialized SX Trail, 2005 Specialized Demo 8
  • pesky_jones
    pesky_jones Posts: 2,890
    Literally only just realised cream eggs are made to look like real eggs. Ignorance is bliss
  • pesky_jones
    pesky_jones Posts: 2,890
    If I actually wanted some answers should I have posted this elsewhere? Dam
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,178
    If you want answers you should ask Cody on the 650b thread. You may not agree with them though.
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 21,793
    Just remember if it's up the bum she won't get pregnant
  • I found the answer to this the hard way.

    That problem has now been taken care of.
    It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.
    Join us on UK-MTB we won't bite, but bring cake!
    Blender Cube AMS Pro
  • cooldad
    cooldad Posts: 32,599
    If I actually wanted some answers should I have posted this elsewhere? Dam

    You deserve nothing but ridicule for posting here, but as a young whipper-snapper with your life ahead of you, you shall have a proper answer.

    I have been cycling for almost half a century. I am infertile.




    Obviously nothing to do with my vasectomy.
    I don't do smileys.

    There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda

    London Calling on Facebook

    Parktools
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,178
    cooldad wrote:
    I have been cycling for almost half a century. I am infertile.
    Me too.

    cooldad wrote:
    Obviously nothing to do with my vasectomy.
    I haven't :shock:
    But lots of chemo did for mine.
  • matthew h wrote:
    Just remember if it's up the bum she won't get pregnant
    I found the answer to this the hard way.

    That problem has now been taken care of.

    Sorry, what? :lol:
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,178
    matthew h wrote:
    Just remember if it's up the bum she won't get pregnant
    I found the answer to this the hard way.

    That problem has now been taken care of.

    Sorry, what? :lol:
    He didn't the former so she wound up the latter. The only possible outcome involved ditches and rotated heads to avoid having the CSA after him in 9 months.
  • oodboo
    oodboo Posts: 2,171
    Doesn't make you infertile but kids reduce the amount you get to ride. Or at least my two make sure I hardly get out on my bike these days.
    I love horses, best of all the animals. I love horses, they're my friends.

    Strava
  • Veronese68 wrote:
    matthew h wrote:
    Just remember if it's up the bum she won't get pregnant
    I found the answer to this the hard way.

    That problem has now been taken care of.

    Sorry, what? :lol:
    He didn't the former so she wound up the latter. The only possible outcome involved ditches and rotated heads to avoid having the CSA after him in 9 months.

    Ahh, I thought TKM had tried making babies via "in bumtro fertilisation"..