The 10 Roadie Commandments
secretsam
Posts: 5,120
1. There is only one true faith, which is the way of the roadie. Harken not to the foul persuasions of the false prophets who swim and run as well, or those covered in mud wearing baggy clothing
2. Honour thy father and mother, or whoever else taught you to ride, for they are righteous and have bestowed upon you a great gift
3. Similarly, pass on thy faith wherever thy can, advising the unenlightened to make full use of the abbreviated path to righteousness known as the “Cycle to Work Scheme”
4. Worship thou the most holy brethren known as “the Pros”, for they are most righteous and are hard in an entirely wholesome manner. This includeth fallen brethren of the hyperdermic persuasion, except for the American who-shall-not-be-named, hereafter forever to be known as “The Bell End”
5. Blessed is (s)he who helpeth his brother or sister in their time of need, with holy gifts of patches, tubes, help and advice. Accursed is (s)he who does not do the whole Good Samaritan act
6. Thou shalt know the faithful by their appearance, and shall acknowledge their holiness with the nod or other form of recognition
7. Adhere to the unwritten but omnipresent and all-knowing righteous code of the road, that thou shalt not jumpeth the red light (although if thou breakest the speed limit that is OK)
8. Thine ride shall have the curled bars of holiness and more than one gear. If thou must havest but one gear, thou must have the righteous amount of braking equipment as specified in the Gospel according to DoT, lest thou be a c0ck
9. If thou havest an ‘ironic’ beard, frumpy specs and saggy-arseth jeans, thou art a hipster and therefore accursed in the eyes of the Lord, and everyone else. Wiseth thou the feck up
10. Covet not thy neighbour’s ride, his shoes or his level of fitness. Rather, get thine own house in order and be thankful for the mercy of the Lord in bestowing the gift of cycling righteousness upon thee.
Here endeth the commandments. They shall be carved on tablets of Carbon Fibre, Steel and Alu, that the righteous may forever learn from their wisdom.
2. Honour thy father and mother, or whoever else taught you to ride, for they are righteous and have bestowed upon you a great gift
3. Similarly, pass on thy faith wherever thy can, advising the unenlightened to make full use of the abbreviated path to righteousness known as the “Cycle to Work Scheme”
4. Worship thou the most holy brethren known as “the Pros”, for they are most righteous and are hard in an entirely wholesome manner. This includeth fallen brethren of the hyperdermic persuasion, except for the American who-shall-not-be-named, hereafter forever to be known as “The Bell End”
5. Blessed is (s)he who helpeth his brother or sister in their time of need, with holy gifts of patches, tubes, help and advice. Accursed is (s)he who does not do the whole Good Samaritan act
6. Thou shalt know the faithful by their appearance, and shall acknowledge their holiness with the nod or other form of recognition
7. Adhere to the unwritten but omnipresent and all-knowing righteous code of the road, that thou shalt not jumpeth the red light (although if thou breakest the speed limit that is OK)
8. Thine ride shall have the curled bars of holiness and more than one gear. If thou must havest but one gear, thou must have the righteous amount of braking equipment as specified in the Gospel according to DoT, lest thou be a c0ck
9. If thou havest an ‘ironic’ beard, frumpy specs and saggy-arseth jeans, thou art a hipster and therefore accursed in the eyes of the Lord, and everyone else. Wiseth thou the feck up
10. Covet not thy neighbour’s ride, his shoes or his level of fitness. Rather, get thine own house in order and be thankful for the mercy of the Lord in bestowing the gift of cycling righteousness upon thee.
Here endeth the commandments. They shall be carved on tablets of Carbon Fibre, Steel and Alu, that the righteous may forever learn from their wisdom.
It's just a hill. Get over it.
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Comments
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The time you spent coming up with that you could have made it funny or original or something!0
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11. STFUAdvocate of disc brakes.0
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Made me smile0
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mfin wrote:The time you spent coming up with that you could have made it funny or original or something!
Or not posted the same shite you posted in Commuting Chat :P"Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity"
seanoconn0 -
It's not "thou havest" it's "thou hast". Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to "Trivial things that annoy you"Specialized Roubaix Elite 2015
XM-057 rigid 29er0 -
Giraffoto wrote:It's not "thou havest" it's "thou hast". Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to "Trivial things that annoy you"
It's neither. It's DU HAST. Queue Till and Co.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98RYXRN8GTM
Rammy... possibly best live act in world at moment. With exception of AC/DC if they ever get back on stage.0 -
Memo to self: people on Commuter forum are not as rude as on here.
It's just a hill. Get over it.0 -
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