I watched 'Spy in the Pod' last night and I really really want to be a dolphin now. Is there a course I can do to qualify as a dolphin? I've tried Googling it but I can't get any decent information.
Just pop along to your local aquarium and jump right in, just make sure it's not the shark tank
"Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity"
stage one is to practice catching live fish in your mouth and swallowing them
once you've mastered that, post a video showing your hot fish action
then the next stage on your journey to dolphin will be revealed
Then practise jumping out of the water and spin round and round to try to shake off annoying parasitic fish that have attached themselves to your groin area.
I watched 'Spy in the Pod' last night and I really really want to be a dolphin now. Is there a course I can do to qualify as a dolphin? I've tried Googling it but I can't get any decent information.
Perhaps you could start with something that's a bit better documented, like becoming a horse?:
"Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity"
Right then. Phase 1 started today. I spent 3 hours in a cold bath trying to catch a goldfish without using my hands. It was surprisingly difficult, and I got very wrinkly.
Be careful in that suit - you need to spray it with a waterproofing spray every few days or it will become waterlogged, very heavy, and drag you to the bottom of the bath. Many pre-op transdolphins have died this way.
Right then. Phase 1 started today. I spent 3 hours in a cold bath trying to catch a goldfish without using my hands. It was surprisingly difficult, and I got very wrinkly.
I've changed my mind. Watching this week's episode it looks a lot like last week's. I think it might get a bit boring. They just see to swim, eat and jump about a bit.
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once you've mastered that, post a video showing your hot fish action
then the next stage on your journey to dolphin will be revealed
seanoconn
Then practise jumping out of the water and spin round and round to try to shake off annoying parasitic fish that have attached themselves to your groin area.
Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
Perhaps you could start with something that's a bit better documented, like becoming a horse?:
http://www.unicorn-dream.co.uk/destrier/advice.html
That sounds wrong, I mean with a drill.
Giving him a drill doesn't sound a lot better
seanoconn
As part of your transition, especially as you are pre op transdolphin, I've found you a suit to help get you in the mood.
Dialled Stay Strong MX20R
I no longer live in an ivory tower, these days it's vintage white :shock:
See how happy dolphins look?
Hey, you've not been "swimming" with him have you?
wearing that won't make you a dolphin, it'll make you a yiffing furry, that's a rather different lifestyle!
We just clicked.
Just so you know what might be ahead of you, here are some detailed notes from someone who has clearly progressed well beyond Phase 3: https://web.archive.org/web/20040126120 ... insex.org/
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved
Started phase 2 yesterday with a bit of language training
Kkkrrrrrrrkrr kkrrreeeekeekkeeerrrrrrrr
That should get the lady dolphins wet. Well, wetter.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154792/dolphinoplasty
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved