In your dreams

flite
flite Posts: 226
edited November 2014 in Pro race
Thank goodness this forum has lightened up. I was about to bin it untill the racing starts.
Thanks Mods! The off season should be the silly season, but not the squabbling season.

So tell us your dreams that involve cycling.
Thread rules if I’m allowed to make them:
Keep it fairly clean please.
No performance enhancing drugs to be mentioned (sporting or otherwise :oops: .)

So last night I was watching a bike race. Not many spectators, but Sir Brad was climbing what looked like a hill in the Yorks Dales in a lone break away. On the opposite side of the road was a man holding a flag or board or something. He managed to drop it on Brad’s front wheel and the tyre exploded. As I rushed across to help, I noticed Brad was wearing an old style yellow jersey with floppy back pockets. I pulled the spare tyre out of the centre pocket, saying “Pull yourself together and just get it fixed”. Inner tube and tyre levers were also produced. Continuing to rummage in his pockets, I leapt about 30 years to find an energy gel. ”And get that down you as well”
I woke up before he could tell what I could do with the energy gel…………………….

Comments

  • rajMAN
    rajMAN Posts: 429
    Make mine a pint of whatever your on. :D
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    Young climber who yoyos the hell out of everyone to make up time out of bad TTing, though I have a good position, but just not enough power.......

    *ahem*
  • buckles
    buckles Posts: 694
    I once dreamt that me and a friend (someone I toured with in real life but only cycled for about a year) were in a 2-man breakaway in a local 2/3/4 race. We'd opened up such a big gap we decided we had time to stop for coffee and a cake. We went into the next cafe we came across and sat for a good 20 minutes, chatting and enjoying our cappuccini and chocolate cakes. Smugly, I commented on how fresh we'd feel at the end of the race after consuming plenty of calories and caffeine, while everyone else would be completely ****ed.

    When it came to paying, everything went to sh*t. In front of us in the queue was an elderly couple who couldn't remember what they'd ordered. The owners of the cafe were themselves elderly; they struggled to remember what the elderly couple had ordered, struggled to calculate the bill and struggled to operate the till correctly. They laughed off each mistake they made, completely oblivious to the stress they were causing me and my breakaway partner. We both became fraught with worry as we suddenly became well aware that the bunch would soon be approaching and negating our efforts.

    Sadly, as I glanced out of the window all my hopes of finally winning a decent race went down the drain as 65 riders passed by, while I stood there holding a tenner, wishing we'd never been so cocky to have taken a cafe stop during a race.
    25% off your first MyProtein order: sign up via https://www.myprotein.com/referrals.lis ... EE-R29Y&li or use my referral code LEE-R29Y
  • buckles
    buckles Posts: 694
    During another dream, I crossed the finish line of a long and arduous road race (none of which I actually experienced during the dream). It felt as real as reality itself; my eyes itched due to irritation from dried sweat, my muscles and nervous system were fatigued, I was completely spent. I rolled up next to a woman who may or may not have been my girlfriend in this particular dream, and said "bloody hell that was hard. I'm glad that's over!". For a brief moment I wondered why I do this to myself. Why I take part in such a difficult sport for recreational purposes. Why, week in week out get up early and travel for miles just to allow other, stronger riders to kick the f**k out of me and leave me physically and mentally drained on what should be a day of rest. Yes, I was glad it was over, Three hours of suffering, finished, done, the end, time for a lie down, a rest, relax, no need to even think about racing again for the next six days.

    Suddenly I woke up. Ah, just a dream. Thank goodness I could relax, and the racing was over. I rolled over and as I prepared to go back to sleep I realised just how cruel my brain is. It was Sunday morning. I had to get up and get ready for the Two Counties Road Race.
    25% off your first MyProtein order: sign up via https://www.myprotein.com/referrals.lis ... EE-R29Y&li or use my referral code LEE-R29Y
  • RXLA41
    RXLA41 Posts: 1
    edited August 2015
    Buckles wrote:
    I once dreamt that me and a friend (someone I toured with in real life but only cycled for about a year) were in a 2-man breakaway in a local 2/3/4 race. We'd opened up such a big gap we decided we had time to stop for coffee and a cake. We went into the next cafe we came across and sat for a good 20 minutes, chatting and enjoying our cappuccini and chocolate cakes. Smugly, I commented on how fresh we'd feel at the end of the race after consuming plenty of calories and caffeine, while everyone else would be completely ****ed.

    When it came to paying, everything went to sh*t. In front of us in the queue was an elderly couple who couldn't remember what they'd ordered. The owners of the cafe were themselves elderly; They wanted to know what the elderly couple had ordered, struggled to calculate the bill and struggled to operate the till correctly. They laughed off each mistake they made, completely oblivious to the stress they were causing me and my breakaway partner. We both became fraught with worry as we suddenly became well aware that the bunch would soon be approaching and negating our efforts.

    Sadly, as I glanced out of the window all my hopes of finally winning a decent race went down the drain as 65 riders passed by, while I stood there holding a tenner, wishing we'd never been so cocky to have taken a cafe stop during a race.

    Did you happen to just read "The Tortoise and the Hare" right before you went to bed? :D
  • Dreamt last night that I had signed for Tinkoff Saxo, turned up for the team launch and they didn't have any kit left for me. All they could find was some old T-Mobile kit which didn't fit... :?
  • mr_poll
    mr_poll Posts: 1,547
    If cycling dreams are your thing then have a look here:

    http://revesperminute.tumblr.com/

    Mine from back when Wiggo vs Froome was at it's height, earlier this year, is there:

    I had a dream that I met Brad on a ride near Chorley. We got chatting and he told me that he was riding in the Tour this year, he was going to pretend to help Froome but in the last few stages he was going to upset the team plan and steal the win off Froomey to teach him a lesson. He was allowed one team member pick and as I knew the secret he picked me. I told him I was not good enough and wouldn’t make the time cut, Wiggo told me not to worry he had a plan. So there I was riding stage 1 of the tour and Brad was right, I finished with the peloton. However the next day I overslept, missed the start and was disqualified. I never found out if Wiggo stole the yellow jersey from Froome.
  • tailwindhome
    tailwindhome Posts: 19,436
    “New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!
  • ddraver
    ddraver Posts: 26,697
    I hesitate to even write this but I once dreamt that I was on a date with Laura Trott, everything was gong swell and we were walking back to our...ahem...campervan in a woddy campsite (no, I ve no idea either) to make lots of the sex when she said she had to go to the little girls room.

    Well of course I would wait for her. After 5 mins I wonder where she's gone and go and investigate to discover that she's jumped out of the window and dumped me.

    I remember waking up thinking, flippng hell even in my dreams I'm a loser! :cry:
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
  • RichN95.
    RichN95. Posts: 27,253
    I dreamt I was a General in a war in Burundi against those pig type creatures that are used as guards at the beginning of Return of the Jedi. The pigs had messed up - they had intended to invade Brunei. We beat them using fireballs fired from catapults. I don't think any cyclists were involved.
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • Ahh, you mean the Gamorreans!

    http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Gamorrean
  • RichN95.
    RichN95. Posts: 27,253
    Ahh, you mean the Gamorreans!

    http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Gamorrean
    Yeah, they're the f***ers. They're all dead now.
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • deejay
    deejay Posts: 3,138
    Oh bugger, now I'm dreaming and this is 2015.
    Say's it all I think. :roll:
    (but you never know)
    Organiser, National Championship 50 mile Time Trial 1972
  • type:epyt
    type:epyt Posts: 766
    Really guys ... you lot need to get a grip!
    Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it.
  • mfin
    mfin Posts: 6,729
    type:epyt wrote:
    Really guys ... you lot need to get a grip!

    ...or a life.

    Obviously it's verbal diarrhoea season.
  • ddraver
    ddraver Posts: 26,697
    mfin wrote:
    type:epyt wrote:
    Really guys ... you lot need to get a grip!

    ...or a life.

    Obviously it's verbal diarrhoea season.

    Nah this is a precursor to a tearful confession of the "Oh god and so do I!!" sort...
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
  • mfin wrote:
    Obviously it's verbal diarrhoea season.

    There's a season? I thought it was all year round...
  • I am always riding into Bourg D'Oisans in a break with a team mate. I am pulling on the front for them and when the climb starts we both get dropped.

    Not sure what that says.
  • josame
    josame Posts: 1,162
    I always day dream that the person on the bike in front of me is Lance Armstrong and the one on the bike behind is Jan Ullrich
    'Do not compare your bike to others, for always there will be greater and lesser bikes'
  • When I was growing up in Sheffield the end of any ride was (inevitably) uphill, so to get me home that little bit quicker I always used to imagine I was a solo breakaway being chased by the bunch.

    I almost always won (with the accompanying salute to the crowd, obviously...)
  • deejay
    deejay Posts: 3,138
    I normally don't dream but I woke with a start in the early hours this morning. (because of this)
    Came down from my hotel room and I saw someone I used to know in the Bar who was already drinking on his own.
    Said hello and ordered a pint as I handed over a £20 note and received £2 change.
    The other guy said yup it's dear in here. That woke me up. Phew I needed a Short and poured one.
    Organiser, National Championship 50 mile Time Trial 1972
  • joelsim
    joelsim Posts: 7,552
    lol @ this thread.
  • I had a dream about Jimmy Savile last night. He used to be a cyclist, didn't he?