Advice for tourists visiting the UK

Alain Quay

- from the Guardian...

Why not try the famous echo in the British Museum Reading Room?

It's customary for visitors to Lords Cricket Ground to stand in front of the large white screen and wave. The batsmen will always wave back.

Never pay the price demanded for a newspaper; good-natured haggling is customary.

Never attempt to tip a taxi-driver.

Visitors in London hotels are expected by the management to hang the bedlinen out of the windows to air.

Parking is permitted in the grounds of Buckingham Palace on payment of a small fee to the sentry.

London barbers are delighted to shave the patrons' armpits.

It is customary when boarding a carriage on the London Underground, to introduce yourself by name to every other passenger, and to proffer a firm handshake.

The number of yellow lines down the side of a road indicates how many rows of cars may be parked there.

secretsam

When meeting someone from the North of England, remember to ask them just how grim life is in their part of the country

It is not only dogs who are allowed to urinate against trees, lamp-posts, etc, it is also perfectly acceptable for people too

Ignorant about the various countries in Britain? Just refer to everyone as "English". This will work especially well in Glasgow, for example.

capt_slog

Wave to all taxi drivers, and if they are not looking your way at the time, shout TAXI!

Give Nottingham a miss, please, just don't bother trying to visit

simonhead

Make the most of bus travel, drivers like being paid in small change.

When using the tube it is customary to stand on the left.

Try a traditional Phall curry, its nice and mild and is ideal for beginners.

upperoilcan

When visiting Scotland one must always try the local delicasy which comes in the form of a Mars bar covered in batter.

When visiting anywhere north of Oxford its customary to have gravy with all types of food,even Cornflakes.

Alain Quay

UK airport security will be happy to let you hold their machine gun while they take your photo

If attending a Scottish football match, it is customary for visitors to wear a white strip emblazoned with "1996" in large lettering, as this commemorates a famous football victory

If walking a dog to Britain, it is customary to place droppings in a plastic bag then to fling the bag as far as possible.

Giraffoto

Bus companies are only allowed to charge fares to UK citizens - not all drivers are aware of this, so stand your ground!

seanoconn

If travelling by London Transport in the morning, invite your fellow passengers to join you in song. They will be delighted and happy sing-a-long.

arran77

seanoconn wrote:

If travelling by London Transport in the morning, invite your fellow passengers to join you in song. They will be delighted and happy sing-a-long.

I remember this when I used to work in London, not the singing bit, but how happy everyone was in the morning, they were always so cheery and smiley

secretsam

...oh, and with regard to police: the majority are not armed, but should you see an armed copper it is entirely commonplace to go up and try to put your hand on their weapon (gun, etc). This will usually be received with mirth and merriment.

Likewise, police dogs at football matches are known for their friendly and docile manner, so should be patted at every opportunity.

And if you see a "Community Support Officer" or whatever, it is absolutely vital to address him/her as "Mr/Ms Plastic Plod". This is a term of affection and will be much appreciated.

PS: with regard to our continental neighbours, should you go to France and come across a police officer with at badge saying "CRS" on the arm, it is absolutely acceptable to put your arm around them and ask for a kiss.

ballysmate

Bicycles at railway stations are for community use. Just help yourself.

MichaelW

If you ever go to a Liverpool football match, they have a special minute of quite at the beginning of each match for visitors to introduce themselves to the fans. You have to shout quite loudly so that everyone can catch your name and country of origin.

thegreatdivide

If you're planning on attending a game of 'kick the ball' in Glasgow please remember that an ‘I Love The Queen’ pin badge and Union Jack flag are de rigueur in the home end in Celtic Park - the same goes for Ibrox where an Irish Tricolour or t-shirt with the Pope’s likeness is essential. Enjoy the match!

thegreatdivide

And don't forget that everyone in Scotland is Scotch!

daviesee

While we are on the subject of Scotland, it is tiny.
Check out the UK TV weather on the BBC, Scotland is only about the size of Kent.
You could easily go anywhere by taxi.

ballysmate

The Gallic greeting of a kiss on each cheek is now is de rigueur, when being introduced to strangers, particularly prevalent in the working class areas in the north.

BigJimmyB

Stay in your hotel until just after 9am so you don't get in my effing way whle I try to get to work!

secretsam

BigJimmyB wrote:

Stay in your hotel until just after 9am so you don't get in my effing way whle I try to get to work!

Do you live in Oxford? Some Japanese tourist there once got clear footage of me "waving" to them in the time-honoured manner because they were filming the high street at 8.30 in the morning!