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King B0llocks, Ruler of the BB Empire

arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
edited September 2013 in The bottom bracket
Brothers (and sisters) of BB, is has come to my attention, and no doubt yours, that in recent months, dark storm clouds of war have been amassing over BikeRadar, the hallowed place that we call Bottom Bracket (and our more civilised neighbour Cake Stop) have been infiltrated by outsiders seeking to disrupt the happy chaos that normally ensues :?

I have no doubt that this is just the start of much bigger things to come and I for one will fight to the end to preserve all that we hold dear; it is our right to talk of norkage without fear of persecution, it is our right to exchange meaningless insults and above all it is our right to talk utter b0llocks.

We have seen brave attempts already to uphold our honour in other parts of BikeRadar, pinarello001, daviesee, team47b, ballysmate, seanoconn and yossie, your endeavours have not gone un-noticed, and you will be handsomely rewarded once we are victorious.

I have no doubt that we will be victorious and claim the rightful control of the BikeRadar Empire but in order to ensure victory I believe we need a leader. There will be many who believe they can take this responsibility but there will be few who are capable :shock:

For this reason I believe we must select the one who has shown most commitment to the sacred land of BB, we shall establish this by seeing who posts the most b0llocks in our hallowed land based on our ‘most active forum’ percentage (as a starting point I claim 39.45% b0llocks which I have no doubt will be surpassed by some of the community elders!!).

xjdh.jpg

Once selected, this person shall be crowned King B0llocks, Ruler of the BB Empire, and will lead us to war, and to victory :D

We will fight them on the commuter front and we will fight them in crud catcher.

Until such time however we must all remain vigilant to the ever present threats that surround us and protect one another from the evils that lurk beneath :evil:
"Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

seanoconn

Posts

  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,774
    If the sole criterion is spouting b0llocks, it has to be Pinarello. He is the fount of all things b0llocks. In fact, everything he posts seems to be b0llocks. :lol:
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 6,731
    ballysmate wrote:
    If the sole criterion is spouting b0llocks, it has to be Pinarello. He is the fount of all things b0llocks. In fact, everything he posts seems to be b0llocks. :lol:
    This ^^^

    With a masters degree in b0llocks you'd do well to understand 1% of Pinarello's posts.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,306
    I am not worthy to kiss the sandals of the anointed one...
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 6,731
    Seanoconn

    Most Active Forum
    40.17 % b0llocks......Check

    Most Active Topic
    The Big Girls Thread......Mate!
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Seanoconn sneaks into the lead there :wink:

    Who will challenge him :lol:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 6,731
    Mikey23 wrote:
    I am not worthy to kiss the sandals of the anointed one...
    Mikey

    Most Active Topic
    Road General!?

    What do you think this is!? A bike forum!?
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • YossieYossie Posts: 2,600
    edited September 2013
    Joined:Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:23 am
    Last visited:Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:12 pm
    Total posts:2525 | Show your posts
    (2.16 posts per day / 0.07% of all posts)
    Most active forum:The Bottom Bracket
    (1340 Posts / 53.07% of your posts)
    Most active topic:The 'big' girls thread...
    (24 Posts / 0.95% of your posts)

    Although I do try (and am seen as some as very trying) I can but aspire to become King of The b0llocks (I believe that I currently hold Lord of the Idiots) I trust that there is someone worthier than me to take and uphold this beloved and sacred title.

    May I humbly suggest that although his postage and percentage may be up there, for post to b0llocks ratio VTech may be up there? Perchance the requirement for a separate title?
  • davieseedaviesee Posts: 6,473
    Hurrumph!

    No stats for me except:-
    5308 posts, 3.33 per day.0.14% of all posts.
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
  • Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,306
    2292 since June 2012... I blame the medication
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Yossie wrote:
    Joined:Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:23 am
    Last visited:Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:12 pm
    Total posts:2525 | Show your posts
    (2.16 posts per day / 0.07% of all posts)
    Most active forum:The Bottom Bracket
    (1340 Posts / 53.07% of your posts)
    Most active topic:The 'big' girls thread...
    (24 Posts / 0.95% of your posts)

    Although I do try (and am seen as some as very trying) I can but aspire to become King of The b0llocks (I believe that I currently hold Lord of the Idiots) I trust that there is someone worthier than me to take and uphold this beloved and sacred title.

    May I humbly suggest that although his postage and percentage may be up there, for post to b0llocks ratio VTech may be up there? Perchance the requirement for a separate title?

    A worthy adversary steals the crown from seanoconn :wink:

    VTech may spout a large quantity of b0llocks but I'm fecked if he's gonna be King, he has alligances with the dark side :shock:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 6,731
    Yossie wrote:
    Joined:Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:23 am
    Last visited:Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:12 pm
    Total posts:2525 | Show your posts
    (2.16 posts per day / 0.07% of all posts)
    Most active forum:The Bottom Bracket
    (1340 Posts / 53.07% of your posts)
    Most active topic:The 'big' girls thread...
    (24 Posts / 0.95% of your posts)

    Although I do try (and am seen as some as very trying) I can but aspire to become King of The b0llocks (I believe that I currently hold Lord of the Idiots) I trust that there is someone worthier than me to take and uphold this beloved and sacred title.

    May I humbly suggest that although his postage and percentage may be up there, for post to b0llocks ratio VTech may be up there? Perchance the requirement for a separate title?
    All hail King Yossie worthy.gif
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,774
    seanoconn wrote:
    Yossie wrote:
    Joined:Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:23 am
    Last visited:Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:12 pm
    Total posts:2525 | Show your posts
    (2.16 posts per day / 0.07% of all posts)
    Most active forum:The Bottom Bracket
    (1340 Posts / 53.07% of your posts)
    Most active topic:The 'big' girls thread...
    (24 Posts / 0.95% of your posts)

    Although I do try (and am seen as some as very trying) I can but aspire to become King of The b0llocks (I believe that I currently hold Lord of the Idiots) I trust that there is someone worthier than me to take and uphold this beloved and sacred title.

    May I humbly suggest that although his postage and percentage may be up there, for post to b0llocks ratio VTech may be up there? Perchance the requirement for a separate title?
    All hail King Yossie worthy.gif

    Imaginary friend save the King!

    Don't mind doffing my cycle helmet to King Yossie.
    Draw the line at electing Popes and kissing rings. :shock:
  • Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,306
    Or kissing anything else come to think of it...
  • Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,306
    A kind of puppet king ship where those behind the scenes wield the power... And the monarch can be disposed of when it's convenient...
  • On a percentage basis,

    779 | Show your posts
    (1.85 posts per day / 0.02% of all posts)Most active forum:The Bottom Bracket
    (367 Posts / 47.11% of your posts)

    This is from my control panel. I don't have a high post count, so could I be a squire to one of the Knights of Bottom Bracket ? I promise I am worthy as I talk bolloks in real life as well as on here, innit.
    I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, but I'm intercontinental when I eat French toast...
  • YossieYossie Posts: 2,600
    Although I do feel a random sense of b0llocks spouting superiority, I feel that I could not have attained this position of both high responsibility and blingness without my loyal patriachs - I salute all of you for the work that you have done in the past and the work that we shall have to do to protect our empire from meddling mediocrats and the goths from communteruntville.

    Do you reckon that if I tell TDN that I'm King of b0llocks that she'll snog me? I mentioned it to TDV and she laughed and told me to go and empty the cat litter and to stop being such a jeff bag.
  • davieseedaviesee Posts: 6,473
    I don't bow down to nobody.
    Well played though Yossie. Well played.
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 6,731
    daviesee wrote:
    I don't bow down to nobody.
    Well played though Yossie. Well played.
    Unclick the box that hides your online status and play along. You could be up with the best b0llocksers.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,306
    @d...Yup, time to come out mate

    Double negative = positive ...
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    As much as it pains me to say, I think there is only one winner here....

    huqc.png

    Pina take it with 65.74% :roll:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • davieseedaviesee Posts: 6,473
    Mikey23 wrote:
    @d...Yup, time to come out mate

    Double negative = positive ...
    Done, but no difference. Yet.

    I am on a new mission to upset pedants. :wink:
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 6,731
    arran77 wrote:
    As much as it pains me to say, I think there is only one winner here....

    huqc.png

    Pina take it with 65.74% :roll:
    Oh FFS!

    All hail King P.... Nope, I can't do it :(
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    seanoconn wrote:
    arran77 wrote:
    As much as it pains me to say, I think there is only one winner here....

    huqc.png

    Pina take it with 65.74% :roll:
    Oh FFS!

    All hail King P.... Nope, I can't do it :(

    It is a fecker isn't it, maybe someone else will come along to save the day!

    ji94.gif
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 43,973
    seanoconn wrote:
    All hail King P.... Nope, I can't do it :(
    Don't do it - the last time we had a lefty from Scotland with political ambitions in charge of anything, it all ended it tears..next thing we'll find out Mr. P only has one eye...
    Whippet
    Bruiser
    Panzer
    Commuter

    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • YossieYossie Posts: 2,600
    Woah - hail the New King - the King is dead, long live the King.

    As an aside imagine if Elvis was on here - would the King be King.

    Alternatively, just imagine if Pina is Elvis - now that's a thought. Uh - ha.
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