Nursery ryhmes

pinno

Being Dad of two little one's, I am reminded of the now omnipresent Nursery ryhme.

The origins are sometimes insidious:

Ring around the Roses (the flowers around a gravestone I believe), a pocket full of posies (to cover the stench from dead bodies),
Atishoo atishoo, we all fall down (the first signs someone has contracted the plague).

Humpty dumpty - all about a large, heavy canon.

London Bridge us falling down... What is the origin of that one?
Any others?

pipipi

Ring a ring o roses?

Well QI said it wasn't the plague. It was written ages afterwards.

I think the canon is right though.

Giraffoto

Humpty Dumpty is a riddle about an egg - for a slightly different version, read The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin. The roses/plague thing is long debunked too. Goosey Goosey Gander is terribly violent, however, as it Three Blind Mice

seanoconn

Goosey Goosey Gander, whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs and in my Lady's chamber.
There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers,
So I took him by his left leg and threw him down the stairs.

Domestic abuse?

http://www.cracked.com/article_16576_th ... hymes.html

arran77

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?

Apparently this is all about Queen Mary I (the farmers wife) and how she tortured and killed three noblemen (the three blind mice) after they plotted against her, I don't know what cutting off their tails is a reference to but when you read up on her she was a proper mental biatch so it could be nasty :shock:

graham.

A while ago I went to see a dietitian, this was on the wall.

Jack Spratt ate lots of fat,
His wife ate lots of sweeties,
He has had a heart attack,
And she's got diabetes.

Made me laugh.

Giraffoto

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon;
Ten thousand volts shot down the rope
And turned its wool to nylon

arran77

Giraffoto wrote:

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon;
Ten thousand volts shot down the rope
And turned its wool to nylon

A slightly different version...

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
Ten thousand volts went up it's arse
And turned the lamb to mutton

ballysmate

If we are on the subject of Mary and her lamb -

Mary had a little lamb
Couldn't stop it buntin'
Took it down the garden path
And kicked its little (Sorry Mikey!)

arran77

Ballysmate wrote:

If we are on the subject of Mary and her lamb -

Mary had a little lamb
Couldn't stop it buntin'
Took it down the garden path
And kicked its little (Sorry Mikey!)

That's a little harsh to refer to Mikey as the thing that rhymes with buntin' :shock: :P

simonhead

Mary had a little lamb
Her cow had B.S.E
Mary was a dirty slut
and give them H.I.V

Giraffoto

Mary had a little lamb
So placid, kind and gentle
Until she gave it LSD
And then the lamb went mental

simonhead

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
was split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often

arran77

simonhead wrote:

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
was split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often

She's a little prick tease that Mary isn't she :shock:

gingerscott

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white and whispy.
Along came foot & mouth,
And now its black & crispy

simonhead

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And to do a bit of kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her arse
Now his teeth are missing

pinno

Mary had a little lamb
It peed upon a pylon
2000 volts went up its bum
and turned it into Nylon.

Cubic

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantlepiece,
And told then not to.... fffffffffffall off

jrduquemin

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead,
And now she takes it off to school,
between 2 bits of bread.

ballspondroad

For really mad interpretations of nursery rhymes I recommend 'Who Really Killed Cock Robin ?' by Norman Iles, published by Hale in 1986. If I remember correctly, he reckons that 'London Bridge is Falling Down' is a sad tale of male sexual impotence.

ballspondroad

I see I've been auto-censored - c**k not 'fool' !

arran77

ballspondroad wrote:

I see I've been auto-censored - c**k not 'fool' !

Fancy trying to use the word c0ck :shock:

Figaro

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor fainted.

arran77

Figaro wrote:

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor fainted.

Nice first post!

capt_slog

On a bus trip around edinburgh we were told the following....

George IV once made an official visit to the city. The organisers of the banquet wrote to his advisers to ask if the king preferred pie or pudding for dessert, they wrote back to say that he was a big chap and liked his food, and would eat BOTH.
The banquet was a success, but in a break from the usual protocol the king left the table with the ladies, he was a bit worse for drink and made 'improper advances' towards a few.
He then left the banquet before the other gentlemen had finished their cigars and was nowhere to be found when they wanted to socialise with him.

Hence.
Georgie porgie, pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie porgie ran away.

There are various other explanations of the above, but I liked the story anyway.