In defence of Carlton Kirby

jimmythecuckoo

(not trolling, I promise)...

I think he is really growing into the commentary role and if, as has been rumoured, David Harmon isn't going to be on the Eurosport team then I make CK1 (that's marketing people!!).

If there was an idea team I would still have...

Boulting - anchor.
Rendell - analyst.
Harmon - commentator.
Kelly - expert.

So come on Carlton, step up even further and get into my dream team

(or I will start a Matt Keenan appreciation thread)

Richmond Racer

Got to be room too for Boardman in that dream team

salsiccia1

In fairness, I don't mind Carlton Kirby. Some of his reading of events is a bit hit-and-miss, but he brings enthusiasm and the ability to fill time nicely.

jimmythecuckoo

Richmond Racer wrote:

Got to be room too for Boardman in that dream team

For me not... but I can understand why people would love to have him.

gingermagician

Imlach for the anchor - love his dry delivery of the occasional one-liners ITV (let him?) drop in from time to time.

Boulting & Boardman are good on the report-style pieces, though maybe you could also have Boardman on co-commentary duties for the TTs over Kelly?

greeny12

Nope - not for me.

Among other things he suffers from the "jack of all trades, master of none" curse of several jobbing Eurosport commentators, but in Kirby's case he emphasises his lack of knowledge by constantly expounding ludicrous theories (which are usually shot to pieces very quickly) or making totally unfunny 'jokes'.

For exhibit zzzzz, his recent contributions to Eurosport's Le Mans coverage had me reaching for the mute button and dialling up Radio Le Mans before 24 minutes had passed, let alone 24 hours...

That said, as a pure provider of 'colour' during the more prosaic bits of flat Tour stages he does have some entertainment value.

inkyfingers

What's wrong with Dave Harmon, lots of tweets wishing him well?

ddraver

Think he's just had enough inky, no particular reason but when you ve been doing it that much for that long, you must need to have a break eventually. It's our dream job, but not many of us could do it for ever...

I don't mind Kirby to be fair...

RichN95.

It's a shame Simon Brotherton is full time BBC and not freelance. Then he could be an excellent replacement on ITV for Liggett - with someone like Dan Lloyd.

I would also like to have a Fanzone commentary on the red button with all the most mental people from twitter.

ermintrude

I don't mind CK but he talks too much. Liked him best when Harmon and Kelly were main two and CK had the odd small slot

prawny

Confirmed by Rob Hatch by the lokos of twitter. Shame, I was only thinking about Dave this morning and looking forward to some decent coverage again. It's all been a bit 'bitty' this year. Not feeling it as much as in previous years.

prawny

RichN95 wrote:

I would also like to have a Fanzone commentary on the red button with all the most mental people from twitter.

Four hours of mouth foaming, epic.

inkyfingers

RichN95 wrote:

I would also like to have a Fanzone commentary on the red button with all the most mental people from twitter.

You are a bad man Rich. Can see it now, a talk show format hosted by Festinagirl and Paul Kimmage, they could have a Pulp Fiction inspired section where they bring Digger Forum out in a gimp suit.

Seriously though, I will miss Dave Harmon, I know he wanted to take some time off, but was hoping he'd be back for the Tour.

ddraver

Sig-ed

inkyfingers

It's taken 32 years, but I have finally made it. Thanks guys, couldn't have done it without you.

RichN95.

inkyfingers wrote:

RichN95 wrote:

I would also like to have a Fanzone commentary on the red button with all the most mental people from twitter.

You are a bad man Rich. Can see it now, a talk show format hosted by Festinagirl and Paul Kimmage, they could have a Pulp Fiction inspired section where they bring Digger Forum out in a gimp suit.

I should have detailed the TV schedule for you. These are some of the programmes you can look forward to:

Think of a Number: An analysis of the day's power outputs with Antoine Vayer and his repainted roulette wheel.

Skins: 20 year old girls doing drugs and having sex? Sadly not. Instead moral guidance from a purveyor of Chinese sweat shop clothing live from his Swiss tax haven (Warning: 75% adverts)

Pointless: A quiz show in which contestants try and name a clean rider from the 1998 Tour de France

Songs of Praise: Invited guests talk about how they let their Lord and Saviour Greg LeMond into their lives.

Father Paul: Banished to Craggy Island by the mainstream media, Father Paul offers salvation to sinners who confess to him. Also stars Digger Forum as both Father Dougal and Father Jack. In this episode UCI_Overlord explains the money was just resting in his account.

Would I Lie To You?: Highlights of the days proceedings from a Truth and Reconcilliation commission

The Sky at Night: Posters from the Cycling News Clinic forum gaze at the majesty of the cosmos and consider how it proves Sky are doping.

above_the_cows

RichN95 wrote:

Skins: 20 year old girls doing drugs and having sex? Sadly not. Instead moral guidance from a purveyor of Chinese sweat shop clothing live from his Swiss tax haven (Warning: 75% adverts)

This programme would only be available via an expensive subscription service surely?

Richmond Racer

Nice work, Rich

May I also add to the schedule:

Time Team - watch as the excavators from 'Equipe, Le Monde, Het Nieuwsblad etc exhume retired pros to prod at their cadavers until they pony up a confession

Antiques Roadshow - Phil Liggett is brought in by Mrs Meldrew, 60, Frinton-on-Sea, after she found him in her attic during a clear-out

Band of Gold - a drama about a band of friends who invest in a mine in Africa. Cast includes Paul Sherwan, Lance Armstrong and Mike Plant

tailwindhome

TopGear style 'cool wall' - obviously presented by FrenchFighter.

inkyfingers

Proper giggling here, you lot are priceless.

prawny

TailWindHome wrote:

TopGear style 'cool wall' - obviously presented by FrenchFighter.

'The Scales of Panache'

jimmythecuckoo

Nice to see a bit less CK bashing than if this thread had been posted a year ago.

Would be nice to have Dave Harmon back for the Vuelta should he have concluded his matters elsewhere.

emadden

inkyfingers wrote:

What's wrong with Dave Harmon, lots of tweets wishing him well?

Read a tweet that he is ill with depression at the moment. Hope he can get through this soon as he has many supporters and well-wishers,

Yellow Peril

emadden wrote:

inkyfingers wrote:

What's wrong with Dave Harmon, lots of tweets wishing him well?

Read a tweet that he is ill with depression at the moment. Hope he can get through this soon as he has many supporters and well-wishers,

I sincerely wish him a speedy recovery and hope his illness was not provoked by an acquisition of shares in the Orica Greenedge team.

blazing_saddles

I'm surprised that Dr Who? hasn't made these schedules.

3 weeks of Cartoon Kirby will cause a depression epidemic.

Lanterne_Rogue

Can we add Last of the Summer Wine to the fantasy schedule, in which three old codgers (Voigt, O'Grady, Millar) cook up a crazy scheme to tour France with hilarious consequences. In this latest series, Peter Sagan guest stars as Howard, constantly getting caught by his exasperated DS in attempted trysts with podium girls...

mididoctors

Richmond Racer wrote:

Got to be room too for Boardman in that dream team

agree he is growing in stature as a jawboner.... and his historic cache is a rising star too boot.

plus he is bloody funny at times when matched up with ned and matt.... the itv podcast is gold.

Lanterne_Rogue

mididoctors wrote:

Richmond Racer wrote:

Got to be room too for Boardman in that dream team

agree he is growing in stature as a jawboner.... and his historic cache is a rising star too boot.

plus he is bloody funny at times when matched up with ned and matt.... the itv podcast is gold.

Ooh, thanks for reminding me of that - it was one of the quiet joys of last year's Tour (frequently more interesting than watching the highlights, sadly) - anyone know if they're doing it again this year?

ddraver

TailWindHome wrote:

TopGear style 'cool wall' - obviously presented by FrenchFighter.

Star on a reasonably priced bike?

Better yet (and a bit serious) you could get a member on each sort of discipline (road climber, road sprinter, TT, Endurance Track, Track Sprinter, XCO, DH, 4X, BMX, CX, trials rider etc...) and make them do one of each's race and see who comes up best. I'd actually be really interested to see how that worked out...

tailwindhome

ddraver wrote:

TailWindHome wrote:

TopGear style 'cool wall' - obviously presented by FrenchFighter.

Star on a reasonably priced bike?

Better yet (and a bit serious) you could get a member on each sort of discipline (road climber, road sprinter, TT, Endurance Track, Track Sprinter, XCO, DH, 4X, BMX, CX, trials rider etc...) and make them do one of each's race and see who comes up best. I'd actually be really interested to see how that worked out...

If you mean pros trying other discipline I'm saying Sagan would totally own it.

Gazzetta67

Forget about Carlton Kirby !!!! - What about that annoying little man Mike Smith in the dungeons @ Eurosport ? yes he of the "Snooker" commentators. Always remember him over the tannoy at the top of holme moss in the Leeds Classic he talked some shyte then and it will be the same during the tour.