Stupid Things
Wily-Quixote
Posts: 269
1. Singlespeeds
Back in the 1920s there were singlespeed bikes. them an amazing thing happened - hills were invented. Some hills were amazingly high. Some Bloke invented a new thing called a cog with 'more teeth'. This was so amazing that people put one on the other side of their back wheel. The would get to a hill, get off their bike,, take off the wheel, flip it over, put it back on and ride up the previously unridable hill. It was sort of like a human derailleur. Car drivers could already do this without stopping the car, getting out and adding cogs to their gearbox. Amazing.
Some Bloke then thought that a real derailleur would be better than a human one so he put it on a bike with the aforementioned 'cog with more teeth'. Amazing. Now riders could get up hills by staying on their bikes.
Then the 2000s happened. The IQ of people dropped by 300%. They realised that instead of bikes being more convenient they could be less convenient. They decided to go remove the 'cogs with more teeth' so that they no longer could ride up hills. Weirldy it cost them more money to do this. While they were at it they took other unnecessary things like brakes and freewheels off their bikes. Curiously they left the pedals and wheels on. Now they could ride bikes that were less practical, less safe and more expensive. Brilliant.
2. Gears
Back in the 1920s gears were invented. These gears were stuck on the side of the bike so that they could be conveniently and easily damaged. Luckily they were so exposed to the elements that they wore out in 25 seconds and could be replaced before they were damaged. Luckily also that they don't wear out because your bike doesn't get ridden. Your bike doesn't get ridden because you're stuck in the garage adjusting the fiendishly unbreliable derailleur system that won't work for more than 5 seconds at a time.Then the Rohloff was invented. Amazingly a geared system that required no maintenance and would resist being runover by an abrams tank couldn't be sold. You can't buy a bike that has gears that work because shops won't sell them unless you live in Germany. But then you will have to have a basket on your bike and be a 40 year old librarian.
Back in the 1920s there were singlespeed bikes. them an amazing thing happened - hills were invented. Some hills were amazingly high. Some Bloke invented a new thing called a cog with 'more teeth'. This was so amazing that people put one on the other side of their back wheel. The would get to a hill, get off their bike,, take off the wheel, flip it over, put it back on and ride up the previously unridable hill. It was sort of like a human derailleur. Car drivers could already do this without stopping the car, getting out and adding cogs to their gearbox. Amazing.
Some Bloke then thought that a real derailleur would be better than a human one so he put it on a bike with the aforementioned 'cog with more teeth'. Amazing. Now riders could get up hills by staying on their bikes.
Then the 2000s happened. The IQ of people dropped by 300%. They realised that instead of bikes being more convenient they could be less convenient. They decided to go remove the 'cogs with more teeth' so that they no longer could ride up hills. Weirldy it cost them more money to do this. While they were at it they took other unnecessary things like brakes and freewheels off their bikes. Curiously they left the pedals and wheels on. Now they could ride bikes that were less practical, less safe and more expensive. Brilliant.
2. Gears
Back in the 1920s gears were invented. These gears were stuck on the side of the bike so that they could be conveniently and easily damaged. Luckily they were so exposed to the elements that they wore out in 25 seconds and could be replaced before they were damaged. Luckily also that they don't wear out because your bike doesn't get ridden. Your bike doesn't get ridden because you're stuck in the garage adjusting the fiendishly unbreliable derailleur system that won't work for more than 5 seconds at a time.Then the Rohloff was invented. Amazingly a geared system that required no maintenance and would resist being runover by an abrams tank couldn't be sold. You can't buy a bike that has gears that work because shops won't sell them unless you live in Germany. But then you will have to have a basket on your bike and be a 40 year old librarian.
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Comments
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The bong and the PC belong in different rooms
Specialized Roubaix Elite 2015
XM-057 rigid 29er0 -
OP... well, looks like you've totally missed the point of single speeds and fixies then. They are medical devices, designed to treat people with Operandogenuphobia*, and as such are very important for their owner's well-being.
* Fear of knees that work.Mangeur0 -
Wily-Quixote wrote:The IQ of people dropped by 300%.
I'm no expert but i'd say this was impossible!www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes0
