The Friday Quiz

simonhead

This is a game we used to play at work on a Friday when it was a bit quiet, thought it may be a bit of fun. Simply answer each point or replace the dots.

1 What was your first bike (your actual first bike not your first proper bike)?
2 If Jeremy Clarkson carped it who should replace him on Top Gear?
3 Edam - discuss
4 Set a scene, it must include the following words - Cake, Holly Willoughby, Bottom Bracket and Morph
5 Essex isnt the only way because...............
6 Chamois cream is to cycling as .......... are to ............?
7 My most embaressing item of clothing is.................
8 Pot holes, if they were filled with compost what would you grow in them.
9 What would you change your forum name to?
10 Any good plans for the weekend?

capt_slog

simonhead wrote:

This is a game we used to play at work on a Friday when it was a bit quiet, thought it may be a bit of fun. Simply answer each point or replace the dots.

1 What was your first bike (your actual first bike not your first proper bike)? Tooo long ago, sorry, can't recall
2 If Jeremy Clarkson carped it who should replace him on Top Gear? Piers Morgan
3 Edam - discussting
4 Set a scene, it must include the following words - Cake, Holly Willoughby, Bottom Bracket and Morph
Nope, sorry, got distracted after the words Holly Willoughby
5 Essex isnt the only way because some of us actually have a life.
6 Chamois cream is to cycling as pesto is to avocados? I've heard of them both, never had either.
7 My most embaressing item of clothing is my fishing hat
8 Pot holes, if they were filled with compost what would you grow in them. Pot
9 What would you change your forum name to? Captain Slog
10 Any good plans for the weekend? oh yes. It's my 29th wedding anniversary on Sunday and the lovely Mrs Slog and I are off to a hotel for the weekend.

AchillesLeftKnee

- What was your first bike (your actual first bike not your first proper bike)?
A hand-me-down Raleigh Nippy, complete with solid tyres. It was blue and yellow.

- If Jeremy Clarkson carped it who should replace him on Top Gear?
Me. It's a short commute to work, and I find cars really, really boring, so could provide an interesting counterpoint to the other two.

- Edam - discuss
Dutch cheese from the Rubber Cheese family. Waxy coating is more fun than the cheese.

- Set a scene, it must include the following words - Cake, Holly Willoughby, Bottom Bracket and Morph
Finally, after months of trying, Morph caked Holly Willoughby's bottom bracket.

- Essex isnt the only way because...............
If it was, all of humanity would eventually gravitate there and starve. The fact that we're not all dead proves that it can't be the only way.

- Chamois cream is to cycling as .......... are to ............?
Couples parked up in the Surrey Hills late at night in unlit cars are to just admiring the view.

- My most embarrassing item of clothing is.................
My suit. Suits are a childish form of Fancy Dress. I dislike myself at the best of times, but put a suit on and I really can't stand myself. Hideous things.

- Pot holes, if they were filled with compost what would you grow in them.
Lupins. Easy to grow, pretty hardy, stunning flowers. Also, the seeds are poisonous if eaten raw, so after a couple of years I could collect enough to ensure an end to the Jeremy Vine Show on Radio 2.

- What would you change your forum name to?
BanCyclistsFromTheA247ThroughWestClandonAndA25OverNewlandsCorner(NorthboundOnlySouthboundIsFine)

- Any good plans for the weekend?
Sleep, get annoyed at the weather, have Mother Nature throw bits of tree at me again, fail to buy a new saddle, curry, hang around Heathrow T5 on Sunday night hoping the missus shows up before I give in and spend several years disposable income on some coffee-related liquid and a*se cake from Costa to relieve the boredom.

mr_poll

simonhead wrote:

This is a game we used to play at work on a Friday when it was a bit quiet, thought it may be a bit of fun. Simply answer each point or replace the dots.

1 A white BMX style with 3 or 4 large plastic spokes
2 Boris Johnson
3 Fine on a burger at a BBQ but you wouldnt serve it on a cheese board in polite company
4 Holly Willoughby was fiddling with her Bottom Bracket whilst Morph, admiring the view, ate Cake.
5 Essex isnt the only way because if it was the human race would be to stupid to evolve and eventually die out
6 Chamois cream is to cycling as edam is to a cheese board?
7 My most embarrassing item of clothing is pointy shoes with a blue burberry style pattern
8 Nothing as cars would run them over, a fruitless exercise.
9 WTF
10 Off to Bala, Wales for the club cycling weekend that I helped organise - all going well till the British weather intervened.

simonhead

1 What was your first bike (your actual first bike not your first proper bike)?
A blue thing with Husky written on it, stabilisers were banned in our house, many many cuts, bruises and scrapes.
2 If Jeremy Clarkson carped it who should replace him on Top Gear?
Dara Obrien
3 Edam - discuss
There is little i hate in the world but Edam (and to a lesser extent gouda) is one of them. May as well eat a foot flavoured condom.
4 Set a scene, it must include the following words - Cake, Holly Willoughby, Bottom Bracket and Morph
It was Morphs birthday,out of latex Tony Hart sculped him Holly Willoughbys Bottom, Bracketed to the wall for his enjoyment whilst he ate cake.
5 Essex isnt the only way because...............
No one knows how to read a map in Essex, the girls think a compass is a form of contraception
6 Chamois cream is to cycling as .......... are to ............?
swans are too picnics
7 My most embaressing item of clothing is.................
My French Rugby shirt, i won it in a competition but will never wear it.
8 Pot holes, if they were filled with compost what would you grow in them.
Marrows, huge marrows that i would enter in country fairs
9 What would you change your forum name to?
Dave
10 Any good plans for the weekend?
Going to Taste of London tonight, have the morning free tomorrow, BBQ in the evening then have promised to sort the garage out on Sunday (including an extra bolt on the door).

pinno

simonhead wrote:

This is a game we used to play at work on a Friday when it was a bit quiet, thought it may be a bit of fun. Simply answer each point or replace the dots.
4 Set a scene, it must include the following words - Cake, Holly Willoughby, Bottom Bracket and Morph

(Hollywood voice over required)

In a world of men and Mamils, there was a place where few would dare to go, where evil and mayhem ruled. This inhospitable place was called 'Bottom Bracket'. One man with Holly intent called Willoughby dared to enter the cavern of depravity. All he had was cake to sustain him on the long journey to redemption and conversion of the iniquitous to the practice of morphism.
At a cinema near you from Friday, the unforgettable, the unmissable, the regrettable, the over the top, this years ultimate blockbuster to end all blockbusters: 'Road to Hell' in Lycra, HD, muck off and 3D Balding.

izza

1. Yellow chipper
2. Dame Edna Everage
3. It should be embraced more readily on this forum as one of the lower fat cheeses.
4. Morph was having a panic. In terms of day dreams, his most boring was one of Bottom Bracket construction, whilst the most exciting was of a naked Holly Willoughby smearing cake upon her breasts and screaming for Morph to lick it off. However, as a crreature made up of a fixed amount of plasticine, if he went with the latter and became aroused, would his hands and feet shrinK to nothing?
5. Essex girls, via their rapid dropping and lifting of knickers and constant horizontal dancing are inherently exothermic. Without some balancing frigid home counties munters we'd all die of rapid global warming.
6. James Herriots arms are to a pregnant cow
7. A pink hard hat on a building site
8. Banana trees - save me having to carry gels in my back pocket
9. Your forum name = You! More fur man.
10. I have loads but it will cost you. Recommend you grow your own.

marylogic

1.
2. Jens Voigt
3.An insult to the word cheese
4. Pass (I think this is one for the male forum members )
5.SCOTLAND
6.Harvey's bristol cream is to old ladies
7. A pair of grey size 16 jogging bottoms that I wore just after having the kids
8.Cacti! Only joking, banana trees
9.Iwishitwasallcheese
10Brother's 40th birthday party

jrduquemin1

1 What was your first bike (your actual first bike not your first proper bike)? A Monza Sport Mag Burner
2 If Jeremy Clarkson carped it who should replace him on Top Gear? Benedict Cumberbatch
3 Edam - discuss: It's cheese made backwards
4 Set a scene, it must include the following words - Cake, Holly Willoughby, Bottom Bracket and Morph:
- Morph filled Holly Willoughby's Bottom Bracket with cake
5 Essex isnt the only way because............... If it were, we'd all be doomed
6 Chamois cream is to cycling as oxygen. is to .life...?
7 My most embarrassing item of clothing is.my bright orange clubbing shirt I used to wear..
8 Pot holes, if they were filled with compost what would you grow in them: a nice tree
9 What would you change your forum name to? Nowt wrong with my current forum name
10 Any good plans for the weekend? - Flatout In The Fens on Sunday... 152 miles of flat....

crumbschief

1 What was your first bike (your actual first bike not your first proper bike)?
Something my dad sprayed gold it had solid tyres.

2 If Jeremy Clarkson carped it who should replace him on Top Gear?
Load of cock to me but maybe Huey Morgan would make it work.

3 Edam - discuss
Frankly my dear i don't give edam.

4 Set a scene, it must include the following words - Cake, Holly Willoughby, Bottom Bracket and Morph
It was Christmas morning in Australia and i was just building up my new bike to enter on Vision On,i just had the bottom bracket left to fix with the aid of Morph,it was going slow and i needed some carbs,suddenly a knock at the door,it was Holly Wallaby with cake,Happy Christmas everyone.

5 Essex isnt the only way because Suffolk is tote amaze.


6 Chamois cream is to cycling as Victoria are to plums

7 My most embaressing item of clothing is an impulse buy of some Da Bomb socks

8 Pot holes, if they were filled with compost what would you grow in them.
Grass

9 What would you change your forum name to?
Fist of fun

10 Any good plans for the weekend?
So far i'm thinking about having an old friend for dinner,then a choice of a family birthday party or out for some riding.

goonz

1 What was your first bike (your actual first bike not your first proper bike)? A yellow and red bmx with stabilisers from wait for it Halfrauds!
2 If Jeremy Clarkson carped it who should replace him on Top Gear? Paxman
3 Edam - discuss A hole lot of cheese
4 Set a scene, it must include the following words - Cake, Holly Willoughby, Bottom Bracket and Morph I eat cake whilst morph plays on the tv, not being watched by me as I rodger Holly Willoughby's bottom. Bracket :roll:
5 Essex isnt the only way because if it was I would be bright orange
6 Chamois cream is to cycling as peanuts are to butter
7 My most embaressing item of clothing is my bib shorts
8 Pot holes, if they were filled with compost what would you grow in them. Flapjacks
9 What would you change your forum name to? simonhead
10 Any good plans for the weekend? i never make good plans