The Rules
Comments
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Rolf F wrote:meursault wrote:I cannot control what you consider patronising, though you may want to check your own posts, but you do appear to have one fan.
It's subjective what you think is good or not, but it's not some bloke on a website. It's an online community dedicated with a passion for road cycling. Thank you for your permission to carry on.
I wouldn't wish you to try to control what I consider patronising! I was merely pointing out that your gifs encourage me to respond! Of course, I haven't actually accused you of being patronising so I am terribly hurt that you accuse me of it!
Apols if I was wrong about the rules. I thought they were just written by Frank Strack, author of aforementioned blog in Cyclist. TBH, I originally thought they were written by a collection of bored students who weren't as funny as they thought they were.
Anyway, back to your beloved rules!*
*incidentally, it is not necessarily the content of the rules that irritates me (though as djm501 says, the sheer quantity of them kills them somewhat) - more it is the tedious phraseology. That peculiar contradiction of trying to be humourous whilst at the same time taking itself way too seriously. The only correct set of rules is #1 Obey the rules. #2 Ignore anyone who tells you to obey the rules; you have a mind of your own.
PS Like your avatar - what is it from?
Accuse is a tad strong, I said you may want to check.
Here is a list of contributers
1 Thanks to Geof for this submission.
2 Stijn Devolder on Rule #5, in defense of staying in Belgium when his teammates went off to train in sunny Spain: “It is not so cold that you freeze on to your bike. You go from a temperature of zero (Celsius) to minus one and you’re not dead; It hardens your character.”
3 It is possible for experts to mix these matching guidelines successfully without breaking The Rules. This is a very risky undertaking and can yield unpredictable results. Proceed carefully and, if in doubt, run your configuration by the Keepers for approval.
4 Famous quote by Greg LeMond, former hardmand and current twatwaffle. Greg Henderson quote courtesy of Neil. (Incidentally, it does not matter how fast you go, but you may never give up.)
5 Thanks to James for his sound input on modifying this submission from it’s original draft which read, “An exception to wearing a cap when not riding is: If you have a soigneur (you don’t) and he places the cap on your head after you’ve just won a mountain top finish or soloed into the velodrome (you haven’t).”
6 Thanks to Rob for this submission.
7 Thanks to Rob (different from Rob in 6) for this submission.
8 Thanks to Saul at Speedy Reedy for this submission.
9 Thanks to BarryRoubaix for the astute observation regarding Time Trial Bikes.
10Thanks to Souleur for the astute observation regarding the Principle of Silence.
11 Thanks to Charlie for this addition.
12 Thanks to Jarvis and Steampunk for their tidy ways.
13 Thanks to Cyclops for this sensibly aesthetic addition.
15 Thanks to SupermanSam via our friends at CyclingTipsBlog.
16 Thanks to Rusty Tool Shed and Reid Beloni for assistance in helping craft the language of this Rule.
17 Thanks to Karim for this most accurate contribution.
18 Thanks to SterlingMatt for this most accurate contribution.
21 There are variants of this story, including one which is more likely to be the actual way this story unfolded, which goes that Sean Kelly is met by his wife after a the ’84 Amstel Gold Race and they get in his Citroen AX: “Ah, Sean” says his beloved wife, “in your life the car comes first, then the bike, then me.” “You got the order wrong,” Kelly scowls, “the bike comes first.” Thanks to Oli Brooke-White for helping sort out the details of the story.
22 Thanks to David Ezzy for this excellent contribution and fantastic ride out to Kaupo and back.
23 Thanks to Donnie Bugno for this most accurate contribution.
I doubt Frank has the time to monitor/moderate the site on his own, let alone write all the rules.
I am not sure I love the rules, I just admire what they stand for. Riding your bike and looking pro while you do it. I break plenty of them, and don't worry about it, mainly because I am too old and too slow to be anywhere near being pro. But in any walk of life, I believe in the aspiration of excellence, and what it means to attempt it. Whether excellence is achieved or not, is a by product. It is all about the path.
Thank you for the compliment of the avatar. It is a photograph by Henri Cartier-Bresson, a hero of mine.
From Wiki
Henri Cartier-Bresson (August 22, 1908 – August 3, 2004) was a French photographer considered to be the father of modern photojournalism. He was an early adopter of 35 mm format, and the master of candid photography. He helped develop the street photography or life reportage style that was coined The Decisive Moment that has influenced generations of photographers who followed.Superstition sets the whole world in flames; philosophy quenches them.
Voltaire0 -
meursault wrote:I doubt Frank has the time to monitor/moderate the site on his own, let alone write all the rules.
I am not sure I love the rules, I just admire what they stand for. Riding your bike and looking pro while you do it. I break plenty of them, and don't worry about it, mainly because I am too old and too slow to be anywhere near being pro. But in any walk of life, I believe in the aspiration of excellence, and what it means to attempt it. Whether excellence is achieved or not, is a by product. It is all about the path.
Thank you for the compliment of the avatar. It is a photograph by Henri Cartier-Bresson, a hero of mine.
From Wiki
Henri Cartier-Bresson (August 22, 1908 – August 3, 2004) was a French photographer considered to be the father of modern photojournalism. He was an early adopter of 35 mm format, and the master of candid photography. He helped develop the street photography or life reportage style that was coined The Decisive Moment that has influenced generations of photographers who followed.
I promise not to pick on your thread anymore!
Have you a link to that pic in full size? Funny thing is, it looks in your avatar like a pencil drawing. It reminds me a bit of Mervyn Peakes Gormenghast illustrations - the sort of image that makes you wonder what is going on just outside the shown view!Faster than a tent.......0 -
Rolf F wrote:meursault wrote:I doubt Frank has the time to monitor/moderate the site on his own, let alone write all the rules.
I am not sure I love the rules, I just admire what they stand for. Riding your bike and looking pro while you do it. I break plenty of them, and don't worry about it, mainly because I am too old and too slow to be anywhere near being pro. But in any walk of life, I believe in the aspiration of excellence, and what it means to attempt it. Whether excellence is achieved or not, is a by product. It is all about the path.
Thank you for the compliment of the avatar. It is a photograph by Henri Cartier-Bresson, a hero of mine.
From Wiki
Henri Cartier-Bresson (August 22, 1908 – August 3, 2004) was a French photographer considered to be the father of modern photojournalism. He was an early adopter of 35 mm format, and the master of candid photography. He helped develop the street photography or life reportage style that was coined The Decisive Moment that has influenced generations of photographers who followed.
I promise not to pick on your thread anymore!
Have you a link to that pic in full size? Funny thing is, it looks in your avatar like a pencil drawing. It reminds me a bit of Mervyn Peakes Gormenghast illustrations - the sort of image that makes you wonder what is going on just outside the shown view!
Nothing wrong with a bit of debate.
More Magnum greatness here
http://www.magnumphotos.com/C.aspx?VP3=CMS3&VF=MAGO31_2_VFormSuperstition sets the whole world in flames; philosophy quenches them.
Voltaire0 -
No, those things may well be 'highly practical'. I think you are missing the point / jokeSimon Masterson wrote:Tom Dean wrote:...which is nearly all of them.
So being someone who actually cycles (as opposed to hanging around with a bike and/or cyclists), it makes sense to eschew the highly practical facilities of frame-mounted pumps, seatpost wedges, and shoes with recessed cleats, does it? Or suitable amounts of fluid and food for real training?
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lotus49 wrote:I think The Rules are funny and I also think that they are a tongue in cheek distillation of what has been regarded as the done thing by roadies for years. More than most sports there is a long-standing culture surrounding cycling and The Rules are an attempt to describe humorously what that culture is about. The Velominati didn't make up The Rules, they are merely documenting them.
Some of them, yes, but only some. Essentially it's a watered down version of how the hard men of cycling did things not so long ago, and if you want to be one of them you'll forget about being petty about mounting pumps on your frame and swap your compact for a 52(+)/42 chainset and your existing 10 speed cassette for a 12 straight through freewheel, and ditch those clinchers.
The other - somewhat ironic - thing of course is that many of them seem to be a bid to look 'pro', and many professionals (aside from the fact that they don't care about the Velominati; can't think why) break many of them: from frame-mounted pumps on training bikes to disuse of eyewear...0 -
Tom Dean wrote:No, those things may well be 'highly practical'. I think you are missing the point / joke
Or it's a piss-poor attempt at a joke format that's pretty difficult to get wrong. 0 -
meursault wrote:Nothing wrong with a bit of debate.
More Magnum greatness here
http://www.magnumphotos.com/C.aspx?VP3=CMS3&VF=MAGO31_2_VForm
Love that. Thank you for it! May have to investigate that as wall décor.... Faster than a tent.......0 -
I think the people that get upset by The Rules are the kind of people that wear SPD sandals
WITH SOCKS :shock:
Now that's another set of rules that shouldn't be broken...0 -
I honestly didn't intend to create a(nother?) thread that argues about the rules.
So, not intending again to inflame things again, but Velominati now have a book out
http://www.velominati.com/v-announcements/the-way-of-the-cycling-disciple-preview-e-book-sampler/
Not supposed to be launched yet in UK, but WHSmiths have copies on display, I got mine from Stevenage branch. About the rules with more background, and an excellent intoduction by William Fotheringham. IMHO worth every penny, for a great read.Superstition sets the whole world in flames; philosophy quenches them.
Voltaire0 -
meursault wrote:I honestly didn't intend to create a(nother?) thread that argues about the rules.
So, not intending again to inflame things again, but Velominati now have a book out
http://www.velominati.com/v-announcements/the-way-of-the-cycling-disciple-preview-e-book-sampler/
Not supposed to be launched yet in UK, but WHSmiths have copies on display, I got mine from Stevenage branch. About the rules with more background, and an excellent intoduction by William Fotheringham. IMHO worth every penny, for a great read.
its not your fault, there are certain things that you just cant mention on forums without people jumping on the thread and arguing it anyway! red lights, helmets, wiggle, the list goes on!! (i hope mentioning them all in one go there doesnt inflame things here!!)www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes0 -
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I break..
#1 See below.
#2 See below.
#3 Nah, do it your own way. That's the point, isn't it?
#4 No it isn't. Without the rider, it just kinda falls over and looks silly.
#11 Nah, you can just buy bikes. People aren't so easy to replace.
#12 I hate clutter. N has a max value of 3.
#18 Guff. Lycra off-road is acceptable. Baggies look comical and aren't comfortable.
#24 I'm British. I don't need to be able to relate my distances to mass of water molecules.
#26 That would involve washing it.
#29 Yes they do. Better than throwing your phone into the road whilst hunting for bar.
#31 See #29. Why do I need access to repair kit whilst riding?
#33 Nope. I'm not hairy enough to warrant it, thanks to being further up the evolutionary tree.
#39 Cars are boring. Why would I want to pretend I've got a windscreen?
#45 This is just a ruse to get me to bend over, isn't it?
#47 British Real Ales > Belgian Beers.
#52 Why would I want to have to stop at more garages? 750ml, thank you.
#56 If I'm out for a ride, I'm out for a ride. If I'm out for a coffee, I'm out for a coffee. The two are mutually exclusive.
#58 I would IF THEY'D OPEN IN THE F***ING EVENINGS!
#62 Oh yes I will.
#71 Nah, just enjoy it.
#74 Sorry, Edge 800. Anyway, if you think that's bulky and ugly, you should see the rider!
#79 Not practical. We have traffic in Britain.
#85 If you think I'm going down Barhatch Lane without copious amounts of brake you can **** right off!
#89 Spitting's rude. Consequently, so is Flemish.
#90 Shall I just take a hammer to my knees now then?
#91 I like bonking, just not the sort advocated by this rule.Mangeur0 -
iPete wrote:I think the people that get upset by The Rules are the kind of people that wear SPD sandals
WITH SOCKS :shock:
Now that's another set of rules that shouldn't be broken...
Is it acceptable when deliberately paying homage to Sheldon Brown?0 -
Chris87 wrote:
Cool site, thanks for posting.Superstition sets the whole world in flames; philosophy quenches them.
Voltaire0 -
I only follow 2 rules!
#5 Harden the Fk Up!
#9 I'm out in all weather!
It's fun and I will never give up on these hills. 1 at Lanark is %14 but I haven't tried on my fixie yet. All other rules are for posers! Although if I could afford all the other rules I'm sure I'd abide by them too lol.0
