Pinarello's last stand...

pinno

team47b
Tue May 21, 2013 6:11 pm...

Re: Another example of how hated we are in the UK

the playing mantis wrote:im a bit like farage

faraj

(T47b's last post and I know why.)

Unfortunately, the catastrophic post regarding the relative value of life and the subsequent mis-interpretation of said comments, my life is under imminent threat.
Due to the fact that Donald Trump did not want his wig to be singed and the subsequent blow jobs he gave to councillors and politicians to prevent get his golf course...sorry...the Americans from nuking Scotland, T47b has been brought out of retirement as a favour to Barack Obama, Alex Salmond and representatives of the Scottish Whisky industry.
His mission: to assasinate me! I could have been the Gavrilo Princip and Danilo Ilic of the 3rd World War. Instead T47b has been sent to take me out to appease certain factions.
Unknown to T47b is the marshlands he will have to cross to get here. The mudfields, hurricanes and temperamental weather. The lack of good nutrition - having to survive on deep fried battered mars bars, pints of heavy and chips with everything en route. The wild Haggii (plural of Haggis?) biting at his heels. The voracious midges attacking his shriveled up testicles mercilessly.
I'll be waiting, I have sharpened the blades on my trattor mower. I will unleash the full force of a pack of barbaric munters dressed in stretch bottoms and McEwans Export T shirts. I paid them in unsuspecting tourists who thought they were going 'caving' and did indeed they did go 'caving'.
I have painted my body blue and covered it in animal fat. T47b will be sent back to his beloved Barcelos only 12 inches (25cm for metric converts) high after my Kwazungu tribe has shrunk him in vats of boiling Irn Bru.

Bring him on. I am waiting. I'll be here. These cows are small and those cows are far away.

Cleat Eastwood

Watch out for his sawn off courgette - and least I think thats what it was

I'll install my personal body guard 'Spiderman Steve' on the border

team47b

Who said I had retired :shock:

I'll be back...

seanoconn

I know how the assassination will take place......

Ok I'm crap with secrets. A t47b trattor bomb! Set to Pinarello's exact weight to avoid accidents. As soon as those 285lbs hit the seat....BOOM!!

team47b

Darn you with your Spidey sense, I was half way through the T47B trattor device and had to adapt it somewhat from this...



...to this

seanoconn

team47b wrote:

Darn you with your Spidey sense, I was half way through the T47B trattor device and had to adapt it somewhat from this...



...to this

You evil genius!

Cleat Eastwood

You've used mm instead of metres - its meant to be this big

CrunchyToes

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

team47b

just how big was Archimedes bath?

Cleat Eastwood

come on Pinarello - we've written you an anthem

Fiiiggghhht!!!

pinno

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

come on Pinarello - we've written you an anthem

Fiiiggghhht!!!

I'll get crunchytoes to do this to your head, then you will loose all the fight in you.

I blame the wiggle

meursault

I love lamp.

team47b

pinarello001 Acabei de ler sua assinatura e eu acho que você menino travesso que era um indício de que a toupeira pode me ser:D

...and a verruga is a wart :shock:

pinno

Mischeivous man thank you.

Anyways, it has been very quiet around here. Seanthecon is too busy dealing with shoplifters and polishing his ego to make it this far. Mind you, most folks from that part of the world think that 'Norf' is Watford and Birmingham is in the arctic circle. That gravestone in his pannier would make him go around in such tight circles, he wouldn't leave the car park. He therefore doesn't pose any threat whatsoever.
So that only leaves the mad Kalashnikov bender T47b.
I can't quite decide on the battle strategy.
History may repeat itself if I he is not careful. There was this dodgy mongrel* from Corsica once who decided to go East accross to Moscow and the Cossacks laid the route bare so his men would struggle for food. It worked and he was sent back to Le Republique with his tail between his legs.
*Je suis tres desolais. J'adore France: la cuisine, la couture, le pays, les Alps, Le Tdf, Nesquik et croissant. Pardonez moi - c'est un petite permis poétique pour moi.

I can temporarily banish this Isle of Deep Fried Battered Mars Bars it would slow T47b down a bit on his route here as a DFBMB has enough calories to send one into orbit. But then a diet of DFBMB, would require him to take his rollers with him and he would have to stop every 3 miles and do a 15 minute 178rpm session to re-balance the sugar levels, thus slowing him down as much as a diet of Portugese cucumbers going soft in his pocket.

I have picked a route for T47b with lots of stopovers:

Barcelos - Bilbao by Isetta. Bilbao to Portsmouth by ferry. Portsmouth to Scotland by bicycle (the Missus will need the bubble wra... sorry 'car', to go shopping with whilst you are away).

Portsmouth - more slappers per square paving slab apart from Plymouth
Winchester - collect the rifle(s)
Andover - not much to say about this medeocre, boring, sameish boxville from hell.
Swindon - Ghastly joint built on Motorola and Honda finances on the top of a windswept hill. Godforsaken place worse than Milton Keynes and Reading.
Gloucester - don't bother with Cheltenham, I got friends there.
Worcester. Lovely old city, good view of the Malverns.
Wolverhampton, one of the many roundabouts should be the end of you.
Stafford - not really famous for anything. Even the Cathedral is in Lichfield.
Stoke - unfortunately/fortunately
Manchester - if you get out of Stoke alive.
Liverpool - stay at Cleats cheap
Southport - bit posh 4 u but the bus shelters are excellent to sleep in, plenty of Torygraph newspapers to wrap yourself up in.
Blackpool Dipleasure beach.
Morecambe - Have a wonder on the sands whilst you are there when the tide is out
Lancaster - watch the gate, its got spikes on it
Penrith - not much to say
Carlisle - A sh1t hole but your over the hilly bit.
Gretna - the last post.

This is the point when the journey here to assasinate me becomes slightly more difficult... good luck.

Cleat Eastwood

Team74b has got to Spiderman Steve - you're on your own

seanoconn

pinarello001 wrote:

Mischeivous man thank you.

Anyways, it has been very quiet around here. Seanthecon is too busy dealing with shoplifters and polishing his ego to make it this far. Mind you, most folks from that part of the world think that 'Norf' is Watford and Birmingham is in the arctic circle. That gravestone in his pannier would make him go around in such tight circles, he wouldn't leave the car park. He therefore doesn't pose any threat whatsoever.
So that only leaves the mad Kalashnikov bender T47b.
I can't quite decide on the battle strategy.
History may repeat itself if I he is not careful. There was this dodgy mongrel* from Corsica once who decided to go East accross to Moscow and the Cossacks laid the route bare so his men would struggle for food. It worked and he was sent back to Le Republique with his tail between his legs.
*Je suis tres desolais. J'adore France: la cuisine, la couture, le pays, les Alps, Le Tdf, Nesquik et croissant. Pardonez moi - c'est un petite permis poétique pour moi.

I can temporarily banish this Isle of Deep Fried Battered Mars Bars it would slow T47b down a bit on his route here as a DFBMB has enough calories to send one into orbit. But then a diet of DFBMB, would require him to take his rollers with him and he would have to stop every 3 miles and do a 15 minute 178rpm session to re-balance the sugar levels, thus slowing him down as much as a diet of Portugese cucumbers going soft in his pocket.

I have picked a route for T47b with lots of stopovers:

Barcelos - Bilbao by Isetta. Bilbao to Portsmouth by ferry. Portsmouth to Scotland by bicycle (the Missus will need the bubble wra... sorry 'car', to go shopping with whilst you are away).

Portsmouth - more slappers per square paving slab apart from Plymouth
Winchester - collect the rifle(s)
Andover - not much to say about this medeocre, boring, sameish boxville from hell.
Swindon - Ghastly joint built on Motorola and Honda finances on the top of a windswept hill. Godforsaken place worse than Milton Keynes and Reading.
Gloucester - don't bother with Cheltenham, I got friends there.
Worcester. Lovely old city, good view of the Malverns.
Wolverhampton, one of the many roundabouts should be the end of you.
Stafford - not really famous for anything. Even the Cathedral is in Lichfield.
Stoke - unfortunately/fortunately
Manchester - if you get out of Stoke alive.
Liverpool - stay at Cleats cheap
Southport - bit posh 4 u but the bus shelters are excellent to sleep in, plenty of Torygraph newspapers to wrap yourself up in.
Blackpool Dipleasure beach.
Morecambe - Have a wonder on the sands whilst you are there when the tide is out
Lancaster - watch the gate, its got spikes on it
Penrith - not much to say
Carlisle - A sh1t hole but your over the hilly bit.
Gretna - the last post.

This is the point when the journey here to assasinate me becomes slightly more difficult... good luck.

As a 'burnable asset' my orders are to lay down my life if necessary to insure the success of the mission. I will conceal and allow t47b safe passage through the horrors of the midlands and north. Should I for instance not escape the clutches of the horny scouse girl, killing machine t47b will automatically be woken from his cryo-chamber


And continue the mission to terminate Pinarello with extreme prejudice!....

team47b

who's the giant in the box, he's huge, he must weigh 56kgs at least, fat barsteward

You can all rest easy for a while, the UK has unleashed the ultimate deterrent guaranteed to keep T47b, 3rd person speaking i am now, away, he has seen the long range weather forecast :shock:

I will think about invading in your summertime, please advise when this happens.

Keep up Spidey, at least get a LCD monitor :roll:

pinno

I found the bomb underneath the seat of the trattor.

Thank you - I needed a new 'Long drop' as the last one was filled up with American tourists who thought they were going into an historic ancient Scottish dwelling.
I didn't have the energy to dig another one and the bomb did most of the work for me.

I would have commented on that incident in Woolwich but thought better of it as that having both the US, the Chinese and whole of the fundamentalist muslim world on my case would stack the odds just slightly in their favour.

Must go, time is rarely wasted on reconnaissance.

PS Nice engine job T47b.