Vasectomy

Unclejonny

As I'm in my 40's and not Rod Stewart and having 4 ankle biters, I'm considering having a vasectomy.

Now as this is a sensitive subject, I have decided not to post on the crudcatcher and as such I'm looking for sensible feedback, maybe even some support :roll:

So has anyone experience with post vasectomy mountain biking?

herb71

Couple days off, and you will be fine. The operation itself was not the most fun I have had with my trousers off, but I was able to walk home and was back running and cycling, certainly within the week.

Thewaylander

Well they just a tie a knott in it now don't they?

rockmonkeysc

I had sensitive plums for about two weeks. I wouldn't plan on any rides within the first couple weeks.
It all depends on how well/quickly the scar heals.

mak3m

I was fine after a couple of days.

i opted for a hospital job, didnt fancy getting it done in the back room of the doctors. so the worst part of the whole process was having to shave yourself, then shuffle towards the operating theater in one of those awful gowns with your backside hanging out and a velcro window on the front

cooldad

I drove home and was in gym the next day. I had however forgotten about the shaved sack and got some funny looks (in the days before shaved bits were socially acceptable).

Only traumatic bit was when they told me they had a student nurse in to watch and learn. I hope she was suitably impressed.

Unclejonny

The student nursey sounds like a Brucey bonus!!!!!

Thanks for the feedback, looks like no more kiddies for........

cooldad

mak3m wrote:

I was fine after a couple of days.

i opted for a hospital job, didnt fancy getting it done in the back room of the doctors. so the worst part of the whole process was having to shave yourself, then shuffle towards the operating theater in one of those awful gowns with your backside hanging out and a velcro window on the front

You sad bastard. My (now) ex did me. Proper job.

mak3m

cooldad wrote:

You sad bastard. My (now) ex did me. Proper job.

nah my ex let me go through the vasectomy then did the proper job on me some years later, double trouble

Unclejonny

This shaving business, does it have to be a clean shave or will I good trim do? Also is it just me sack or are we taking the male "hollywood"

allthegearnoidea

Its the Full job!! all the sack so that you dot get any hair caught in the stitch!! is quite liberating! :shock:
you'll find it all out whenyou go for the refferal appointment, they are quite qick on it down here, normally in with a week of the refferal which is with in a fortnight of seeing the doc typically,

i had mine done on the Wednesday, was back on the school run on the monday, spent the evening, the thursday and friday doing Very little, and when ever the children were about had a Laptray over for piece of mind!! worst bit was wen one of te stitches would catch when walking, but on the whole no problems, was just over the fortnight before i got back on the bike, usual loop, one or two unexpected bumps gave a little twingebut otherwise all good,
go to the docs and get them to prescrie you some Good pain killers, i didt use all of what he gave me, but good to know youve got them,

the wifes Boss had his done at the local surgery to him where they Opt for the Single sided job, snip the first then surgical Crochet hook through your Sack to get the other and then Pull it across! :shock: :shock: :shock: he was off for a fortnight with Properly bruised nuts!!! aother guy had is done at the hospital they work at (they areall in finance) he was back in the office i the afternoon!!

don rush back to work just incase, and keep up with the vasalene on the stitches as they dont worry to much when it comes to remove them! quick snip of the stitch and Yank it out! ;-)

Unclejonny

I'll get the missus to wave the cutthroat razor about and opt for a snip either side then. I think this could be a big day out for me, especially if there are a couple of student nurses to lend a hand....er mean on hand

cooldad

Yeah, my worry was I wouldn't be able to control the little bugger due to naughty thoughts - I do like a girl in uniform.
But once the doc comes at your sensitive areas with a foot long needle and a monster syringe you lose the thoughts, unless, I suppose, you're a real pervert and enjoy needles in your obvious.

Unclejonny

A foot long you say.........(jesus wept, what am I thinking of doing!!!!)

rockmonkeysc

If the knife and needle arent enough the first sight and smell of the smoke as they quaterise the tubes will kill any inappropriate thoughts.

cooldad

RockmonkeySC wrote:

If the knife and needle arent enough the first sight and smell of the smoke as they quaterise the tubes will kill any inappropriate thoughts.

True, my guy just heated up the poker while he had a few swigs of scotch.

allthegearnoidea

The + side to it though is the Post op 3 months of 'Clearing the system out' meaning 3 months of the finest Filth to help! :-D

I did ask if the Doc could prescripe a 3month subscription for it! Haha! He did think it very funny and said Did I really thinlk there would be Any left available if they did! :-D

Unclejonny

Knife and quaterise you say.....starting to feel ill already

cooldad

Don't worry I think they use one of those little butane torches now, not a poker. Just don't fart.

Unclejonny

I might go back to my original plan and just pot the brown, fun all round and no chance of extending the empire

cooldad

Do it. Then you can brag to your wife that you know pain much worse than childbirth.
Make sure you tell her often.

mak3m

Unclejonny wrote:

I might go back to my original plan and just pot the brown, fun all round and no chance of extending the empire

LMAO and this would have been best kept out of the CC, how?

Unclejonny

I'll run it pasted the missus, I'm sure she'll agree it's a winner

cooldad

To get away from the CC comments, it's quick, simple, painless, safe and a lot easier than the lady version.
The only side effect is you'll get a squeaky voice and turn gay.

Unclejonny

cooldad wrote:

The only side effect is you'll get a squeaky voice and turn gay.

Well why didn't you say that in the first place, I'll book myself in first thing in the morning

louthepoo

I know a few mates that've had it done, only 2 had any problems; one nearly died from a complication and the other was off work and bike for 4 months! I'm not having it done! Mind you I don't need to anymore after the anklebiters came along!

Unclejonny

louthepoo wrote:

I know a few mates that've had it done, only 2 had any problems; one nearly died from a complication and the other was off work and bike for 4 months! I'm not having it done! Mind you I don't need to anymore after the anklebiters came along!

Thank you for your kind words and moral support, if I were to wear a hat I'd surely tip it in your general direction

97th choice

I passed out whilst they were doing the second ball, something to do with the surgeon inadvertently tugging on my vagus nerve. Apart from that it was grand, dull ache like you've been kicked in the nuts for a few days. I played footie a week after the op.

Daz555

I was considering it but will have to build up the courage again after a mate a work had it go badly wrong. He got infections in both balls and blood clots formed. He was on morphine for days as they swelled in agony to the size of small grapefruit. Off work for 3 months. 9 months before he could ride to work again.

Gulp..... :shock:

I'll get round to it eventually.....

louthepoo

Unclejonny wrote:

louthepoo wrote:

I know a few mates that've had it done, only 2 had any problems; one nearly died from a complication and the other was off work and bike for 4 months! I'm not having it done! Mind you I don't need to anymore after the anklebiters came along!

Thank you for your kind words and moral support, if I were to wear a hat I'd surely tip it in your general direction

no worries, its a free sevice i provide

homers_double

Just veet your balls and you'll be fine.