Rubbish you told your kids.

capt_slog

(or rubbish you were told as a kid.)

And by this I mean those little things that are made up, perhaps on the spur of the moment, that they (or you) think are true for years....

For instance.

There was a mark on the shell of the crab that i was taking to bits for Sunday tea, I think it was either barnacle mark or an engraving showing where it had been caught. My youngest wanted to know what it was for, so I told him it was put there by mummy crabs so that she knew which were her kids.

The dark windows on cars are there because the occupants are so f-ugly that they would scare the general populace.

The hole that goes through a chicken from the supermarket rotisserie? That's the bullet hole from when it was shot.

mike23864

When the ice cream van plays music they've got none left.

You can't sit on my knee cos I've got a bone in my leg.

upperoilcan

"If you pick your nose your head will cave in"

Garry H

What I was told: The "insurance man" was a detective that worked for the local kids home and would take me away if he saw me being naughty. (It was the seventies.)

crescent

Thunder is the noise that happens when the clouds bang into one another

Mikey23

And rain is because they cry when they have bumped into each other

upperoilcan

Most importantly......

"Dont talk to strangers"

wishitwasallflat

Of course I wanted to have kids ...

Frank the tank

Santa Clause, It's cost me a firkin' fortune.

Lycra-Byka

Power stations are what create clouds....

rodgers73

On the way to visit my gran who had a lot of pug dogs, my mum told me not to go near them as they squirt poison out of their eyes. I was wary of them for years after that!

RonB

If you keep fiddling with your belly button your bum will fall off.

Frank the tank

Sfop doing that, you'll go blind.

Ginjafro

I was constantly warned - Watch it, it'll have your eye out! Also, it was quite funny :twisted: , to tell some other gullible kid that the big black sweet you eventually and reluctantly gave them, was poisonous...I was also once that gullible and terrified kid :shock:

Superbalicious

Approaching Christmas time I politely point out to my son that those little round things on the ceiling, upstairs and downstairs, are how Father Christmas listens to children... each time the smoke alarm flashes, it means one of his elves are listening... not sure if I'll get another year out of that one though as he's 8 now, so the magic is starting to be questioned...!

finchy

You should support Bolton Wanderers. Thanks, Dad.

mooro

johnfinch wrote:

You should support Bolton Wanderers. Thanks, Dad.

imagine my son will say the same, 6 yrs old and the only newcastle fan in derbyshire!

was told that snots were dead brain cells then repeated this in gcse biology which put a stop to my plans for a career in medicine.

jordan_217

Frank the tank wrote:

Sfop doing that, you'll go blind.

I'm over here Frank

CanalRider

I asked my uncle where he was going once, he said, "Timbuktu". It was over a decade later I found out it wasn't in Kent.

pottssteve

If you swallow chewing gum it wraps around your heart and you die.

ben@31

My grandfather had something wrong with his ear lobe. He told me it happened when he forced some German submarine to surface and then the German captain opened the hatch, stood on top of the conning tower and shot at my grandfather with a pistol. He said it was this bullet that nicked his ear lobe, one or two centimetres from death.

I thought this was well cool and told everyone. I was devastated when I found out 20 years later he made it up.

RideOnTime

Capt Slog wrote:

(or rubbish you were told as a kid.)

The dark windows on cars are there because the occupants are so f-ugly that they would scare the general populace.

That ones true.

redvee

My dad has a burn mark on his arm, he always told me when I was a kid it was a bullet scar from the war. He was born in 1947.

centimani

My dad (not seeing thec consequences) stitched me up as a kid...
I was in the cubs and doing a first aid badge. The cub leader asked us to find out what we should do if you cut your finger, answers next week please.
When I got home, I asked dad what should you do ?
Quick as a flash, he replied, you cut the next finger...and the first will stop bleeding. He was dead pan, never laughed, didn't give an 8 year old any idea he was taking the p1ss.

I can still see the look of horror and bewilderment on the cub leaders face as I enthusiastically gave my answer.

He frowned, and asked , so how do you stop the next finger bleeding then ?

Errrrr....I realised only at that point something was fundamentally wrong with what dad had told me....to this day, he still can't believe I took it hook line and sinker.....well I was only 8.