T & R: Dummies Run

ocdupalais

So there I was doing the washing up, and I thought that what with all this talk of the potential merits/drawbacks of the Truth & Reconciliation commission (coupled with the hot itchy rash of disquiet that's spread through the ranks in the last few days), would a trial run on Pro Race yield any juicy kumquats and sway the consensus one way or another...?
"NO", is probably the answer. Either way, we could offer it up to the UCI as a test case.
The Pragmatists are saying "hold on - this seems like a desperate clutching at straws that will create more questions than it answers", while The Idealists are saying "you can carry on sitting around mulling it over for another generation - but something needs to be done now!"... then there's The Bewildered who are milling about and shrugging their shoulders and pulling Stan Laurel faces because they don't feel equipped to to know what to think either way... or are so monstrously intelligent that to favour one approach over another would be ludicrous... or just really really stupid.

Clearly, there's very little incentive to get involved; but that's one of the arguments against it working properly with the pros. Also, there's a likelihood of only partial candidness, if any - especially as most of us have sought to be anonymous...
Remember - it's about TRUTH (well done, micron - you already owned up to your little stunt...well, one of them, anyway) & RECONCILIATION... FF and DDRaver: ready for a cuddle yet, or are we to enjoy/endure the tension for a while longer?

At the risk of falling flat on my face, I'll go first...

I did attempt to reveal the identities of several of the Twitter operatives - including RR's (sorry RR and sorry DD)- from these pages. I would like to add, in my defence, that my Twitter ineptitude (Twittitude?), easy distract-ability and low patience threshold meant that I didn't really grasp who was who and who was saying what to who - so I'm not much wiser.
I apologise: can you forgive me?

My avatar and poncey forum ID were originally meant to be a spoof of the self-aggrandising, pseudo-mysterious and pretentious bo!!ocks you can get on forums and Twitter, etc...Then I find myself becoming those things as the line between being ironic and what I actually think can get lost all for the sake of a cheap laugh.
I apologise: can you forgive me?

I've really got a thing about Anthony McCrossan - and not in a good way - I want to punch his face in.
I apologise: can you forgive me?

No_Ta_Doctor

I never done nuffink and you can't pin it on me anyway.

RichN95.

Deleted

ddraver

I'd always wondered what people meant when they said DM's on twitter before @FG told me to look

I looked quite a bit harder to find RR's identity than any of the blokes, however i do find it's easier to remember that I'm talking to real people when I know what they look like. Could nt find anything though so in my head she's a cross between Mila Kunis and Emma Stone

I'm way to fat to ride a bike, I just had my ass kicked by a Dutch MTB trail FFS!

I don't know how to get rid of the Burry Stander twibbon

Whilst I violently disagree with almost everthing she says, i still want Micron to stay

Even though I technically have a Welsh mother and her family is 100% Welsh, my housemate who I should nt fancy as much as I do is welsh and I'm going witha buch of Welsh people, I'm supporting France today...

(tbh OCU, my twitter picture thingum is a picture of me...

No_Ta_Doctor

As this is T&R, and therefore all about naming names, I'd like to point out that Macaloon was drunk tweeting about applying a tourniquet to a jellyfish last night, and has confessed to an inability to hold his liquor.

I'd like it to be noted that should any potential misdemeanours I haven't committed come to light in the future, that I have cooperated fully with this T&R process by providing the evidence I have to this thread.

Thank you.

rob churchill

I'd like participate, but my publicist wants me to keep my powder dry for the Oprah interview. As a teaser though, one of the following statements is not true:


I was once arrested on suspicion of espionage and black-marketeering in a warzone.

Eufemiano Fuentes is my brother-in-law.

The head of a national branch of a banned Islamic Militant organisation once persuaded me to join a menage a trois with him and his girlfriend, but we'd drunk so much we passed out before anything happened.

ratsbeyfus

No tA Doctor wrote:

As this is T&R, and therefore all about naming names, I'd like to point out that Macaloon was drunk tweeting about applying a tourniquet to a jellyfish last night, and has confessed to an inability to hold his liquor.

I'd like it to be noted that should any potential misdemeanours I haven't committed come to light in the future, that I have cooperated fully with this T&R process by providing the evidence I have to this thread.

Thank you.

Yep, I'd like to also add that it was Macaloon that did it all, apart from the stuff which ddraver did, which was pretty bad as well. I was a fairly innocent bystander who was being easily led. The only thing I might confess to is having a good leer at Frenchie's legs in a completely non-homoerotic way. Any tinglings down below were because my trousers are a little tight in the groin area, what with all that food at xmas an' all.

Wow, I feel really cleansed now, and just a wee bit self-righteous as well. Can I take a backdated off season ban from PTP as punishment?

Richmond Racer

ratsbeyfus wrote:

No tA Doctor wrote:

As this is T&R, and therefore all about naming names, I'd like to point out that Macaloon was drunk tweeting about applying a tourniquet to a jellyfish last night, and has confessed to an inability to hold his liquor.

I'd like it to be noted that should any potential misdemeanours I haven't committed come to light in the future, that I have cooperated fully with this T&R process by providing the evidence I have to this thread.

Thank you.

Yep, I'd like to also add that it was Macaloon that did it all, apart from the stuff which ddraver did, which was pretty bad as well. I was a fairly innocent bystander who was being easily led. The only thing I might confess to is having a good leer at Frenchie's legs in a completely non-homoerotic way. Any tinglings down below were because my trousers are a little tight in the groin area, what with all that food at xmas an' all.

Wow, I feel really cleansed now, and just a wee bit self-righteous as well. Can I take a backdated off season ban from PTP as punishment?

I was exposed to the scandal of Macaloon tweeting-when-twatted last night. I would like to add that he did NOT have a TUE at the time (Twatted Use Exemption). I hope that I have not been corrupted to the dark side, but just in case can I have a get-out-of-jail card for the next 2 years pls. Thank you for considering my application.

Macaloon

*Reluctantly appears at the Commission only because NoTaGobshite put the outing on me & Ratty & RR piled on, to give what will widely be seen as incomplete testimony.

I confess to comparing the dancing with micron to equipping a jellyfish with a tourniquet. I found it apt at the time but got accidentally sh1tfaced before I could explain myself. It was my first session on the gin (or anything distilled/fermented) this year. I promise it will not by the last.

I ask that the following related offence be taken into consideration when sentencing is determined.

Anytime I see I actually see

Some people need to do less winking.

Finally I'd like to point to my desperate attempt to curry favour with NoTaGob...: awarding him a Lifetime McNulty [for giving a fork when not his turn]. I now throw myself on your mercies.

Editing to acknowledge counsel's mention of that thing with Ratty's Mother-in-law and Reginald Perrin's hippopotamus. Truth hurts.

Richmond Racer

It was Lance's fault! He made me do it

rob churchill

Macaloon wrote:

Anytime I see I actually see

Some people need to do less winking.

mididoctors

I was a doper but it didn't make any difference because i was 5h1t

rob churchill

I went to this dodgy geezer in my local and told him I wanted HGH, IGF-1, and EPO and I was prepared to pay. He took my money and came back a few hours later with some forged number-plates.

esafosfina1

I once 'smoked' dope... but didn't inhale.

mroli

I should have gone racing today, but it took me 2 hours to clean my chain and it was cold and it started to rain. I did an hour on the turbo instead. OK, 45 minutes. OK, 35 minutes. Please forgive me.

rob churchill

Last Sunday, I put my two-year old in his buggy and ran him round the banking at Calshot velodrome while no-one was looking.

esafosfina1

rob churchill wrote:

Last Sunday, I put my two-year old in his buggy and ran him round the banking at Calshot velodrome while no-one was looking.

Macaloon

Right then. I'm taking a few with me, starting with FF.

Does he deny decorating his lair with the BR Pro Race Wallchart, spending endless hours shifting the avatars around into their current teams:

Gods of Rock
Eminences Grise
Never were beens (gobshite division)
.
.
Tour Fanboi
.
Adders of no value
.
.
DDraver

For the record FF is obviously essential and if receives a custodial somebody needs to spring him.

Macaloon

Hmm. Overheard a farcical underwear monger wondering why NoTaGobshoot just lawyered-up.

Richmond Racer

Macaloon wrote:

Hmm. Overheard a farcical underwear monger wondering why NoTaGobshoot just lawyered-up.

No, no, you misheard. Its freezing in Copenhagen, and he was LAYERING up

No_Ta_Doctor

Richmond Racer wrote:

Macaloon wrote:

Hmm. Overheard a farcical underwear monger wondering why NoTaGobshoot just lawyered-up.

No, no, you misheard. Its freezing in Copenhagen, and he was LAYERING up

It is bloody freezing in Copenhagen, but layering up would suggest I was contemplating going outside. What you actually heard was "laying up". On the sofa.

rob churchill

No tA Doctor wrote:

Richmond Racer wrote:

Macaloon wrote:

Hmm. Overheard a farcical underwear monger wondering why NoTaGobshoot just lawyered-up.

No, no, you misheard. Its freezing in Copenhagen, and he was LAYERING up

It is bloody freezing in Copenhagen, but layering up would suggest I was contemplating going outside. What you actually heard was "laying up". On the sofa.

Fibber. What she heard was;

"He's needing his dope, a bargain, and he's paying up."

No_Ta_Doctor

rob churchill wrote:

No tA Doctor wrote:

Richmond Racer wrote:

Macaloon wrote:

Hmm. Overheard a farcical underwear monger wondering why NoTaGobshoot just lawyered-up.

No, no, you misheard. Its freezing in Copenhagen, and he was LAYERING up

It is bloody freezing in Copenhagen, but layering up would suggest I was contemplating going outside. What you actually heard was "laying up". On the sofa.

Fibber. What she heard was;

"He's needing his dope, a bargain, and he's paying up."

I would never say such a thing.


Paying up? Shocking. Never.

Macaloon

INBOX: A startling dossier documenting the seamy side of one prominent forum member's post-count passport manipulation.

Thanks for the PM, you steaming great patriot. Your secret's safe until I need to grass someone up for amnesty points.

micron

Seems like I missed all the fun last night though wish to absolutely refute that my dancing in any way resembles a jellyfish in a tourniquet sh1t faced or not

Truth? I'm micron and I'm a dirty food slut

Reconciliation? Hey I'll group hug if you will

Macaloon

micron wrote:

Seems like I missed all the fun last night though wish to absolutely refute that my dancing in any way resembles a jellyfish in a tourniquet sh1t faced or not

Truth? I'm micron and I'm a dirty food slut

Reconciliation? Hey I'll group hug if you will

Tell it to the judge Which brings me to some troubling due process trifles that OCD, in his haste to be the first to post his big TRC thread idea, seems to have completely neglected. Who are the judges? Habeus Cyclist: who's going to release me from the stocks?

No_Ta_Doctor

Macaloon wrote:

micron wrote:

Seems like I missed all the fun last night though wish to absolutely refute that my dancing in any way resembles a jellyfish in a tourniquet sh1t faced or not

Truth? I'm micron and I'm a dirty food slut

Reconciliation? Hey I'll group hug if you will

Tell it to the judge Which brings me to some troubling due process trifles that OCD, in his haste to be the first to post his big TRC thread idea, seems to have completely neglected. Who are the judges? Habeus Cyclist: who's going to release me from the stocks?

Biking Bernie sits in judgement upon us all. Though we do not see his presence, he sees deep into every one of us and on the day of reckoning he will hold us accountable for our sins.

But getting back to the T&R commission, DennisN will be the judge. While not everyone will be happy with being judged by someone who tends to disregard the contents of a post in favour of an interpretation strongly flavoured by what he'd like it to say, on the positive side he won't judge any of us until he's had a beer with us.

ocdupalais

Macaloon wrote:

micron wrote:

Seems like I missed all the fun last night though wish to absolutely refute that my dancing in any way resembles a jellyfish in a tourniquet sh1t faced or not

Truth? I'm micron and I'm a dirty food slut

Reconciliation? Hey I'll group hug if you will

Tell it to the judge Which brings me to some troubling due process trifles that OCD, in his haste to be the first to post his big TRC thread idea, seems to have completely neglected. Who are the judges? Habeus Cyclist: who's going to release me from the stocks?

Firstly, I'd like apologise for reading that as "dirty fool slut"... Sometimes we see what we want to see, eh?
Secondly, as this was an attempt to mimic how the T&C Commission might actually work, we should arrange an AGM in some tax haven (Switzerland and Andorra currently too cold - Cayman Islands?) and spend so long squabbling about the details that we hope that the racing season and some new low level doping revelations take the attention off of us and everybody loses interest and we don't actually have to come to a decision about anything.

Macaloon

No tA Doctor wrote:

But getting back to the T&R commission, DennisN will be the judge.

Corking idea. 'Cept DennisN was last seen way up-river in the LA thread, in full tribal regalia mumbling closing lines from Conrad Novellas.

Richmond Racer

Macaloon wrote:

No tA Doctor wrote:

But getting back to the T&R commission, DennisN will be the judge.

Corking idea. 'Cept DennisN was last seen way up-river in the LA thread, in full tribal regalia mumbling closing lines from Conrad Novellas.

'tis true. Werner Herzog has also been spotted in the area, they're believed to be working together.

EPO Delivery Man

Does anyone need any of my secret sauce?