The War of the Wheels!
supersonic
Posts: 82,708
The war of the wheels, by P.D Hayes.
Once upon a time in a special land far, far away lived a cart manufacturer (let's call them brand S), who one bright and sunny morning looked in their big chest of money to find only a few rusty old coins lying at the bottom. "Alas!", cried the treasurer, and quickly reported his findings to the King. "Our money is running low Majesty, what can we do?". "Fear not", his greatness replied, "the peasants have had it good for far too long, up the prices!".
For two whole years the coffers slowly filled until one day they burst open and flooded the chamber with gold. "Majesty, we can no longer store all our gold!". "But I want MORE!" replied the King. "Consult the blacksmiths! Instruct them to add 63mm to the diameter of the wheels!". "Oh sir, why is that?", asked the perplexed treasurer. "Because we can tell the peasants that they are better in every way than the old ones and they will travel in more comfort, yet the horses will still be able to steer them around the corners".
Two more years passed, and soon the more affluent peasants were looking down at their small wheeled brothers, scoffing at their apparent bumpy ride and inability to win world cup races. Nonetheless, the scourge of society, who couldn't afford this new found leap in technology, swore the old way was best.
The news spread far and wide, even reaching overseas to a land called Europeshire. Soon the serfs were buying into this amazing concept and were quickly buying up King S's stock of exported big wheeled vehicles. This did not please the Lord of Europeshire. In fact, it enraged him, still reeling from the news that Oranges were being grown in Yorkshireland. "Lord", exclaimed the Lord's servant, "what shall we do? We can no longer sell our wagons with their smaller wheels. We cannot sell the same sized wheels as they already have them!". "Hark not!", proclaimed the Lord. "We shalt use those old french wheels in the dungeon! And tell them they are even better". "But lord", whimpered the servant, "no bugger has been bothered about that sized wheel for centuries. And besides, they are only an inch bigger". "Well", chortled the Lord, "two can play their game. Tell the masses they are actually an inch and half bigger, and fit right in the middle! And that not only will they roll just as well, but are lighter too". "Magnificent, your loud trumpeness", gasped the servant.
And thus the war of the wheels begun, and still rages today. Yet the manufacturers lived happily ever after.
Once upon a time in a special land far, far away lived a cart manufacturer (let's call them brand S), who one bright and sunny morning looked in their big chest of money to find only a few rusty old coins lying at the bottom. "Alas!", cried the treasurer, and quickly reported his findings to the King. "Our money is running low Majesty, what can we do?". "Fear not", his greatness replied, "the peasants have had it good for far too long, up the prices!".
For two whole years the coffers slowly filled until one day they burst open and flooded the chamber with gold. "Majesty, we can no longer store all our gold!". "But I want MORE!" replied the King. "Consult the blacksmiths! Instruct them to add 63mm to the diameter of the wheels!". "Oh sir, why is that?", asked the perplexed treasurer. "Because we can tell the peasants that they are better in every way than the old ones and they will travel in more comfort, yet the horses will still be able to steer them around the corners".
Two more years passed, and soon the more affluent peasants were looking down at their small wheeled brothers, scoffing at their apparent bumpy ride and inability to win world cup races. Nonetheless, the scourge of society, who couldn't afford this new found leap in technology, swore the old way was best.
The news spread far and wide, even reaching overseas to a land called Europeshire. Soon the serfs were buying into this amazing concept and were quickly buying up King S's stock of exported big wheeled vehicles. This did not please the Lord of Europeshire. In fact, it enraged him, still reeling from the news that Oranges were being grown in Yorkshireland. "Lord", exclaimed the Lord's servant, "what shall we do? We can no longer sell our wagons with their smaller wheels. We cannot sell the same sized wheels as they already have them!". "Hark not!", proclaimed the Lord. "We shalt use those old french wheels in the dungeon! And tell them they are even better". "But lord", whimpered the servant, "no bugger has been bothered about that sized wheel for centuries. And besides, they are only an inch bigger". "Well", chortled the Lord, "two can play their game. Tell the masses they are actually an inch and half bigger, and fit right in the middle! And that not only will they roll just as well, but are lighter too". "Magnificent, your loud trumpeness", gasped the servant.
And thus the war of the wheels begun, and still rages today. Yet the manufacturers lived happily ever after.
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Comments
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So if I'm following you, you're suggesting we should throw Gary Fisher into a volcano?Uncompromising extremist0
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so the weekend.
he posted this on FB on sunday.
as to mr Fisher.yes no and maybe. he did only push for 29ers"Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
Parktools :?:SheldonBrown0 -
How would I write my own epitaph? With a crayon - I'm not allowed anything I can sharpen to a sustainable point.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed herein are worth exactly what you paid for them.0 -
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Made me smile!
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This PD Hayes character is a really rubbish writer and shouldn't give up his day job.
Bugger, too late....I don't do smileys.
There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda
London Calling on Facebook
Parktools0 -
A great read, thanks Paul.....
Just trying to figure out who this Brand S could be......Currently riding a Whyte T130C, X0 drivetrain, Magura Trail brakes converted to mixed wheel size (homebuilt wheels) with 140mm Fox 34 Rhythm and RP23 suspension. 12.2Kg.0 -
The Beginner wrote:Just trying to figure out who this Brand S could be......
At first I thought it was Specialized. Obvious innit. But then I noticed they're built by medieval blacksmiths, so it must be Orange.Uncompromising extremist0
