Commentator's Curse
Blacktemplar
Posts: 713
Watching the Brazilian Grand Prix yesterday, and a pure belter from David Coulthard that will surely come back to haunt him. I may get the exact wording slightly wrong, but you get the idea....
"And Mark Webber slides into a wet box..... He's pulled out very quickly..."
It made me think of all the priceless little gems that are out there, and wondered what your favourites were? Here's a few as a starter.... (shamelessly nicked from elsewhere)
1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'
2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'
3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'
5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god!! What have I just said??'
6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'
7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'
9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'
10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'
11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'
12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself'.
"And Mark Webber slides into a wet box..... He's pulled out very quickly..."
It made me think of all the priceless little gems that are out there, and wondered what your favourites were? Here's a few as a starter.... (shamelessly nicked from elsewhere)
1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'
2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'
3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'
5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god!! What have I just said??'
6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'
7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'
9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'
10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'
11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'
12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself'.
"Get a bicycle. You won't regret it if you live"
Mark Twain
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Comments
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For those of you that have just joined us, the batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willie.Mud - Genesis Vapour CCX
Race - Fuji Norcom Straight
Sun - Cervelo R3
Winter / Commute - Dolan ADX0 -
Brilliant, thank you for bringing laughter to an otherwise dreary Monday. These made me laugh out loud, to the bemusement of my colleagues.0
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and there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.
He’s pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!
When your back's against the wall it's time to turn round and fight
For those of you watching in black and white, the pink ball is just behind the green.
Didn't quite get his leg overNobody told me we had a communication problem0 -
You can tell that David Coultard tries to fit certain things into his commentary depending on what the bet is that week. I've noticed a large amount of song titles in his metaphors for example. Seeing as this was the last race of the season I think they must've upped the stakes to full on smut!
Whilst Murray Walker wasn't so crude as to try to fit innuendos in, his commentary was another level of ludicrous:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0TZ_YLQSgg0 -
Daddy0 wrote:You can tell that David Coultard tries to fit certain things into his commentary depending on what the bet is that week. I've noticed a large amount of song titles in his metaphors for example. Seeing as this was the last race of the season I think they must've upped the stakes to full on smut!
Whilst Murray Walker wasn't so crude as to try to fit innuendos in, his commentary was another level of ludicrous:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0TZ_YLQSgg
Speaking of bets (assuming it was one). Not as funny but what about that bloke on springwatch and smith song titles....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT9hGAlt89o
and the cure as well....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnNlamILQcA--
Chris
Genesis Equilibrium - FCN 3/4/50
