Long Flight, Small Child

Kieran_Burns

Chloroform isn't a drug per se.

You don't actually ADMINISTER it; just sort of sprinkle a bit here and there: pillow, baby grow, soft cloth...

It's like Vics vapo-rub.

Personally I'm all for introducing my invention of Baby-Stay (TM) into aircraft.

Babies invariably wear something fluffy right? and the little buggers crawl around everywhere right? So, what if you affix strips of velcro in strategic locations? Like the bulkhead by the window, underneath the overhead lockers, on the back of the chair in front.... Press baby (gently!) against the velcro and they're going nowhere. Leaving Mummy and Daddy's hand free for more important things. Like demolishing the free booze.

I'm genius and the saviour of parents the world over.

CiB

You're approaching it from the wrong angle.

Use this:



We've got a spare one in our server room that our tech admin boy uses. I can't come up with any other reason to explain his long disappearances from the building just when we need him most.

rjsterry

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Chloroform isn't a drug per se.

You don't actually ADMINISTER it; just sort of sprinkle a bit here and there: pillow, baby grow, soft cloth...

It's like Vics vapo-rub.

Personally I'm all for introducing my invention of Baby-Stay (TM) into aircraft.

Babies invariably wear something fluffy right? and the little buggers crawl around everywhere right? So, what if you affix strips of velcro in strategic locations? Like the bulkhead by the window, underneath the overhead lockers, on the back of the chair in front.... Press baby (gently!) against the velcro and they're going nowhere. Leaving Mummy and Daddy's hand free for more important things. Like demolishing the free booze.

I'm genius and the saviour of parents the world over.

You're aware that chloroform has some really rather nasty side effects? I think someone has done the velcro thing in real life

Hoopdriver

bails87 wrote:

Agree with mudcow, put some food and a litter tray down, he'll soon figure it out.



I had babies sitting in front and behind me on both of the recent 4 hour flights to and from the Canaries. Both of them were good as gold, apart from one filling a nappy right before take off....eww! I've no idea how the parents got them to be quiet though, the one in front just looked very well wrapped up and seemed to sleep through it on his parents' laps. When I was on a 14 hour flight there was a baby near me and he/she was pretty good too. A little bit of grumbling but the people next to me saying "oh great, a f***ing baby, there's always a baby" were worse. So maybe it's not as bad as people think, or maybe I've got lucky?

I fly an awful lot and very long flights they are a lot of times and by and large I have to say that the babies on the flights I have been on are usually very good. And yes, the guys who grumble in loud stage whispers about the babies, before said babies have even done anything, are usually far worse than the babies are ever going to be.

chilling

I would advise getting the little one its own seat and take plenty of material to clean up general baby goo, having sat on a flight with a baby on my lap who objected to the pilots vigorous take off technique by projectiling everywhere, but mainly over me.

Not the best start to a 4 hour flight. Just think of that for the length of time you will be on the plane.

Yeah, Miss Air France cabin person. Something to help clean it up would be nice. You offering a single wet wipe sachet isn't really going to cut it though.

Greg T

Post walking - pre television the absolute worst age to take a child on a plane. They aren't really happy to just watch the box (get small kids sized headphones - they fit better) and can get up and want to explore - they are also as strong as he-man....

I'd train them to use and iPad now - as you don't want them having to learn a new thing on the plane . Take as many small but new toys and snacks with you as you can.

Personally - having done the Aus trip six ish times with a small one . . . I'd not do it again post 12 months, pre three year old.

Good Luck!

tailwindhome

If you were to ask what the worst possible age is to be taking a small child on a flight to the other side of the world I would say 14mths is pretty bang on.

Do you *really* need to go?
Do you *really* need to take the child?

If the answer to both questions is 'yes' then follow Gregs advice.

the other me

TailWindHome wrote:

If you were to ask what the worst possible age is to be taking a small child on a flight to the other side of the world I would say 14mths is pretty bang on.

Awesome, we've nailed it then!

Thanks for everybody's advice (and the rest ). The flights have been booked and .1 has his own seat, although not in a different section of the plane. natch.

For those concerned, as a (semi) responsible parent there is no way I'm sharing my booze / drugs (and I'll discourage him from getting his own)

cheers all

SimonAH

You've missed a trick here Bucko.

Simply FedEx the children ahead of you C/O your hotel - as your flight will be slightly faster than the FedEx transition time as you will not have to go via their Memphis hub you should arrive slightly ahead of your children, ready to greet them with the hugs of loving parents.

If for some reason you are delayed, then the hotel concierge can be relied on to dandle them for a bit in return for a healthy tip on your arrival.

Cafewanda

With the exception of the OP - the only sensible person - the rest of you had me howling with laughter. Fantastic group support

Paul E

I had a toddler sit next to me on a flight back from the maldives via Doha, I swear it was channelling the devil, the mother had no control over the child and it made a very long journey even worse and then again I have been on other flights where they have been fine.