Seemingly trivial things that annoy you

ben@31

People who constantly brag about themselves. And can not have a conversation about any other subject that doesn't involve them or their wife.

One guy at work who constantly tries to impress people by mentioning his car ALL the time. Slipping in "Yeah I own a German supercar don't you know" into every conversation. Thing is it isn't, it's a several year old rep mobile anyone can pick up from autotrader for a few k, if they wanted to.

If you were that good you'll never have to say anything.

Sometimes when I get into work, I play a game of "guess what the conversation is going to be... yet again".

FatTed

"Slippery when Wet" FFS

Giraffoto

FatTed wrote:

"Slippery when Wet" FFS

Oh come on, it features all his best songs before he turned into Michael Ball

team47b

FatTed wrote:

"Slippery when Wet" FFS

Like this?

GiantMike

ben@31 wrote:

One guy at work who constantly tries to impress people by mentioning his car ALL the time. Slipping in "Yeah I own a German supercar don't you know" into every conversation. Thing is it isn't, it's a several year old rep mobile anyone can pick up from autotrader for a few k, if they wanted to.

Call his bluff. Tell him you're so jealous you're going to get one and print out some adverts from Autotrader of ones that are better and newer than his. Then, every time he starts talking about his, tell him about the one you're getting and why it's better. After a month, tell him you're not getting one because they review so badly, especially the older ones.

dilemna

ben@31 wrote:

People who constantly brag about themselves. And can not have a conversation about any other subject that doesn't involve them or their wife.

One guy at work who constantly tries to impress people by mentioning his car ALL the time. Slipping in "Yeah I own a German supercar don't you know" into every conversation. Thing is it isn't, it's a several year old rep mobile anyone can pick up from autotrader for a few k, if they wanted to.

If you were that good you'll never have to say anything.

Sometimes when I get into work, I play a game of "guess what the conversation is going to be... yet again".

You work with Hans Partridge .............

WindRider

My Ginger step child, whining little S*it

the playing mantis

gingers badf enough, but whining too...poor u.

markhewitt1978

crispybug2 wrote:

When people refer to Tomato Ketchup as 'Red Sauce'

Does my head in!!!

People who refer to Tomato Sauce as Tomato Ketchup.

markhewitt1978

People who start a thread going e.g. "How can convert my road bike into a mountain bike".
To which the responses are "Are you sure?"

To which the OP, who will only have 1 or 2 posts will freak out and question their parentage and intelligence etc.

Giraffoto

GiantMike wrote:

ben@31 wrote:

One guy at work who constantly tries to impress people by mentioning his car ALL the time. Slipping in "Yeah I own a German supercar don't you know" into every conversation. Thing is it isn't, it's a several year old rep mobile anyone can pick up from autotrader for a few k, if they wanted to.

Call his bluff. Tell him you're so jealous you're going to get one and print out some adverts from Autotrader of ones that are better and newer than his. Then, every time he starts talking about his, tell him about the one you're getting and why it's better. After a month, tell him you're not getting one because they review so badly, especially the older ones.

This is a brilliant idea. The only thing to add is that while you're doing this you have to mention how reasonably priced they are. Every time. Phrases like "and seriously, some of them go for less than a Mondeo" are the key to success!

ballysmate

markhewitt1978 wrote:

crispybug2 wrote:

When people refer to Tomato Ketchup as 'Red Sauce'

Does my head in!!!

People who refer to Tomato Sauce as Tomato Ketchup.

What, you mean red sauce?

hipshot

What I don't get is English guys on forums adopting American college speak like 24/7 just because they're on the internet. I guess they find it awesome and epic and kick ass, but in the end they are English, middle aged and come from Dorset or someplace. It makes them sound like a dufus/retard/douchebag.

Those guys need to get a life. Period.

ballysmate

hipshot wrote:

What I don't get is English guys on forums adopting American college speak like 24/7 just because they're on the internet. I guess they find it awesome and epic and kick ass, but in the end they are English, middle aged and come from Dorset or someplace. It makes them sound like a dufus/retard/douchebag.

Those guys need to get a life. Period.

Aw c'mon guy. Don't diss us. Gimme 5.

declan1

desweller

When someone talks about 'threading' a screw when they actually mean stripping the thread from the screw.

Very trivial, but will draw a facial twitch from me every time.

k-dog

Traffic lights on roundabouts - pick one.

Especially at night. There's a big one near here where you can sit for 5 minutes looking at an empty roundabout with a red light mocking you. Ridiculous. I can understand controlling traffic at busy times but turn them off or something the rest of the time.

Ber Nard

People who say/write "ironically" when the correct word would be "coincidentally". As in: "I bumped in to a mate on his way to the pub. Ironically, I was going to the pub, too."

People who use the phrase "I'm an engineer" to shift the blame for a set of instructions they can't understand or something flat packed they can't put together.

Rob

markhewitt1978

k-dog wrote:

Traffic lights on roundabouts - pick one.

Especially at night. There's a big one near here where you can sit for 5 minutes looking at an empty roundabout with a red light mocking you. Ridiculous. I can understand controlling traffic at busy times but turn them off or something the rest of the time.

On your bike? Traffic light controlled roundabouts all have demand control sensors so in a car at least if there is no other traffic you shouldn't be waiting for more than a few seconds. If on your bike it's probable the sensors haven't seen you. Some of the few times I've red light jumped is when sat a lights for ages and figured they will never change.

k-dog

No, car too. It's a big monstrosity that doesn't seem well organised - lots of other roads with lights leading off it so it always seems to take a while.

Doctor House

People putting dishes of food on the table and empty plates in front of people. There's just no need for this approach. Just put the food on the plate and put the plate in front of the person. The table will be much less cluttered and there will be less chance of drinks getting knocked over.

Peddle Up!

Gas hobs for household kitchens. Stupidly small burners and don't get me started on why the "wok burner" isn't. :evil:

declan1

Doctor House wrote:

People putting dishes of food on the table and empty plates in front of people. There's just no need for this approach. Just put the food on the plate and put the plate in front of the person. The table will be much less cluttered and there will be less chance of drinks getting knocked over.

Not to mention a lot less washing/drying up...

simonhead

People that when you go to a restaurant order the most expensive stuff then suggest splitting the bill.

VmanF3

simonhead wrote:

People that when you go to a restaurant order the most expensive stuff then suggest splitting the bill.

Been the wrong end of that just once in my life. It will never happen ever again.

Giraffoto

simonhead wrote:

People that when you go to a restaurant order the most expensive stuff then suggest splitting the bill.

"Sure, why not? Let's see, mine came to about £3.25, what did your whole roast ox cost?"

the playing mantis

Doctor House wrote:

People putting dishes of food on the table and empty plates in front of people. There's just no need for this approach. Just put the food on the plate and put the plate in front of the person. The table will be much less cluttered and there will be less chance of drinks getting knocked over.

philistines u r

smoggysteve

the playing mantis wrote:

philistines u r

People who like Yoda

And why are they never the droids you are looking for?

ben@31

On second thoughts what I wrote wasn't trivial.

Ben6899

the playing mantis wrote:

another example, if you are in a secluded spot, be it beach carpark, forest car park, or some parking area in the countryside at some beauty spot you park out of the way away from other cars, in a nice quiet secluded spot (be it for whatever reason! including adult ones and non adult, such as parking in the corner of a clifftop cornish beach carpark that is a field most of the year, and getting everyone out the car and putting a rug on the grass to have a picnic before decending the many steps to the beach), and some bell end pulls up right next to you 5 minutes later, despite them having plenty of other spots, and (in the non adult cornish beach car park scenario) despite them seeing you and your frineds/family sitting on the grass beside your car in the out of the way spot you chose.

Fuck1ing hell, this! +1000

Slightly different, but a few weeks ago me and Miss6899 went to Kenwood House for their re-openining after all the work that's been carried out. There were craft stalls, food tents, live music etc. Very nice.

There was also a massive expanse of grass (aka the grounds) [<-- this bit is pertinent to the story so stick with it] as there would be if you went today and as there was if you visitied prior to the re-opening,

So why did the four late teens/early 20-somethings decide to sit RIGHT NEXT TO US as we're having a chat and enjoying our Fentiman's lemonade and the jazz band? Seriously one of the lads may as well have sat on my fuck1ng knee, the ignorant little fuck1ng turd.

And I told him as much.

He probably thought I'm just a grumpy old tw@t, but I found it very cathartic.