Seemingly trivial things that annoy you

the playing mantis

people who try and have a conversation with you about a sport/event they have no real idea about as they have just jumped on the bandwagon...ashes, tdf, world cup.

sure you know im interested in such things so im happy to mention it in passing in our discussions, and im glad people are taking an interest in the sport if its genuine, long term, but dont try and appear as if you have any real idea what you are talking about and attempt to have a n indepth discussion with me about it, (" ooh dont u think siddle bowled a bit short at broad", do you even know what short means in that context??), its especially bad if they think what they have said is right (such as so and so is the wicket keeper) and you correct them and they then challenge your correction ("are u sure" yes ive played and folowed the game since the age of 7) go learn the intricacies of it then come back to me an talk about, dont just jump on the bandwagon and state stuff as fact that is wrong and yet think u are right.

tied in is all the dicks u get down the pub when england are playing in the world cup or euro championships, people who have never watched a game b4, never been in a pub b4 either in all probability, and dont know who the players are or who they play for. just f off and dont pretend to be interested, when really ur not. and you can stick ur crappy england car flag up ur ar*e whilst your at it!!

the playing mantis

ALIHISGREAT wrote:

the playing mantis wrote:

arsene wenger and his penny pinching tightarse ways

Offering £35m for Suarez isn't exactly penny pinching is it

(although maybe its just PR and he knows he won't get him, but at least he can say he tried )

exactly, " yessssss we tried to sign suarez and higuan and fellani, but the clubs wouldnt sell, you cannot accuse me of not spending ze money"

yes arsene, but when you bid 15m under the asking price do you expect them to sell?? its just a smoke screen. offer under the asking price knowing full well it wont be accepted just to appease ceratin stupid sections of the fan base who will fall for it, "o we tried to sign so and so, dont blame wenger". id love it is the mousers accepted the suarez bid, the backtracking by arsenal would be hilarious, offer him 10 k a week probs so the deal collapses. as if monsiuer wenger would spend such an amount on a player.

Kieran_Burns

People who type using text speak on forums....

the playing mantis

Kieran_Burns wrote:

People who type using text speak on forums....

ppl who dnt apprcte hw bsy i am...

ballysmate

the playing mantis wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

People who type using text speak on forums....

ppl who dnt apprcte hw bsy i am...

People who over estimate their own importance?

smoggysteve

My wife for making me watch the TdF on German Eurosport with German commentaries just so she can listen to it without watching cos she finds it easier to follow that way!! Why the f@ck would I want to listen to them chunter on about Tony Martin on a fooking mountain stage where he isn't even seen? How about concentrating on the riders at the front of the race. Not saying British commentators ain't guilty of talking bollox now and then but not to the standard of this complete drivel. Oh and Microsoft with your updates every sodding day near enough. I just updated two days ago, why again so soon?

crescent

The obscure / borderline smart a*se references to someone's birthday on the Google homepage.
e.g. "someone you've probably never heard but we have's" 432nd birthday, inventor of the magnifying glass etc

capt_slog

118 118 adverts.
They are bad enough to start with but which imbecile decided that they should be bobbing up and down all the time?

I will NEVER use the 118 service just because of that alone.



Ah yes, just remembered.
The muppets who run along next to the bikes on the TDF to get their stupid faces on the TV. When the inevitable finally happens and they trip and bring down a rider, I hope said rider gets to beat seven shades of poo out of the 'spectator' whilst two race official hold him down.

Alain Quay

When you take a lift and someone has left behind a fart.

Unless you can do this yourself.

FatTed

People who push both the "up" and "down" buttons for the lift

Giraffoto

FatTed wrote:

People who push both the "up" and "down" buttons for the lift

When the lift stops on the way up, and they ask "are you going down?" I always reply that it is. When the doors close and the lift goes up, I'll add, "after this". If they hadn't pressed both buttons, they'd know what it meant when no one got out of the lift.

I've just decided that every time I get into a lift to go up, I'll press the button for the top floor as well as mine

Doctor House

A women in the office here regularly announcing "I'm sweating". She generally broadcast this achievement immediately after anyone within earshot makes a reference to how hot it is. Sometimes it is entirely unprovoked, like a perspiratory based version of tourettes.

Giraffoto

Doctor House wrote:

A women in the office here regularly announcing "I'm sweating". She generally broadcast this achievement immediately after anyone within earshot makes a reference to how hot it is. Sometimes it is entirely unprovoked, like a perspiratory based version of tourettes.

You should politely respond with, "but you f@rt all the time and never tell us about it"

ktuludays

Essex Man wrote:

This is everyone who shops in Waitrose. Leave their trolley wherever is convenient for them.

Except for me, of course.

When confronted with said situation i simply move their trolley a few aisles down from where they left it. fuck 'em, bastard cretins

TCR4x4

Crisp packets opened upside down.
If I somehow manage it, I either can no longer eat the contents, or I begrudgingly chomp them down and hate every second.

If I see someone else opening them upsidedown, my blood boils and I have to stop myself from saying something.


People coughing... Not because of them spreading their filthy germs.. Just the noise.... It drives me crazy, especially that constant hacking type that my wife seems to do every few days

Giraffoto

TCR4x4 wrote:

Crisp packets opened upside down.
If I somehow manage it, I either can no longer eat the contents, or I begrudgingly chomp them down and hate every second.

If I see someone else opening them upsidedown, my blood boils and I have to stop myself from saying something.

I'm not often driven to text speech, but seriously, WTF?

the playing mantis

fat women on escalators, trying to keep right so i can walk past on the left, but them being to corpulent for me to get past, whilst they are holding a bag with the advertisment of a purveyor of unhealthy food on it, that no doubt contains there lard laden brunch.

Kieran_Burns

Giraffoto wrote:

TCR4x4 wrote:

Crisp packets opened upside down.
If I somehow manage it, I either can no longer eat the contents, or I begrudgingly chomp them down and hate every second.

If I see someone else opening them upsidedown, my blood boils and I have to stop myself from saying something.

I'm not often driven to text speech, but seriously, WTF?

Note the word in the title: Trivial

I have to admit though, I hate opening crisp packets from the bottom. It's like beans on top of cheese when eating a baked potato.

Benjamin Hall

I have a weird thing about accents.... I find it almost impossible to converse with a lot of Americans and people from certain UK regions. It genuinely gives me a headache.

People who try to start polite conversations when you are clearly wearing headphones.

Non matching bike/clothes (bordering on the OCD).

People who knock on my door to talk about jesus...

The way the news will wheel some crusty old Bishop out of their little boy sex dungeon whenever there is a 'moral' question being discussed. Of course they are going to disagree with homosexuality/ abortion/ stem cell research.... they make all their life decisions based on a mental book full of utter bollocks, hate and witchcraft. You are irrelevant to modern society, now fuck off my TV screen.

cars missing hub caps....

Chris Froome's gangly arms and 'British-ness'

VmanF3

One from the Billy Connolly

People saying, "...and he turned round and said...", I often imagine why they were facing the wrong way in the first place and the ensuing spinning around of people.

Amersham

Cruise Ship guests/passengers

'Demonstration Drivers' - ok, I hate middle lane hogs, but to see idiots make massive lane changes from the inside to outside, overtake middle lane hog and then crank it back into the inside lane to prove a point, often performed at speeds in excess of the speed limit. Far more fun to 'orbit' the middle lane hog.

Fat people claiming its due to a medical condition.

People shouting about food intolerances, just admit you don't like it, rather than trying to make yourself sound more interesting.

Why funeral directors sell you brass handles to a coffin when it's a cremation, what's the point you robbing scum.

Chewing gum.

Cup cakes, cake pops and other such mockery of the cake.

Fridge magnets.

People who use sailing shackles as cuff links and for that matter anyone wearing technical gear in normal life, using it as a sort of badge of office to show off.

Yobs who think that swearing loudly is acceptable in polite society.

Thick people who carry on regardless of how their dreadful behaviour, manners, dress standards, house maintenance and overall scum bag living standards impacts other people, brushing it off with, "I don't give a sh1te what other people think". Utter, utter mongtards.

Hearing Americans say Vincent Van Gogh.

40 odd year old blokes who cannot get beyond Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin and the like.

Free newspapers on the tube.

Airports and the shell suited Brits who just make you sad to be British.

Pies should have a pastry encasing the whole dubious contents. Pubs - stop calling it a pie when it only has a top on a ceramic pot, that is not what I would consider a pie!

Ok....enough.

CiB

People who phone into Simon Mayo's show at the end of the school year and ask for School's Out. God it's unutterably dull, we don't say school's out in the UK and it's tedious cliche to pick the same record every year for 40 years.

People who phone Jeremy Vine (I could stop there I suppose) and when Vine interjects halfway through their ridiculous rant, the caller ignores the point just made to them and carries on like a runaway train.

Newspaper headlines that reveal ignorance, like the one today that reads Puncture robs Cav of final stage win in Paris. No it didn't.

Anonymous

My old French teacher often gets called by radio 2 just to air his views.

capt_slog

Getting an 'ear worm', one of those bloody awful songs stuck in your head that won't go away for days, and even worse you're embarrassed to even know the words. Ok, so it's "catchy", so is syphilis, I don't want that either.

Bwgan

coriordan wrote:

My old French teacher often gets called by radio 2 just to air his views.

Not that posh bell end?

Anonymous

Oh yes. That exact one! Hahaa

jawooga

VmanF3 wrote:

People who use sailing shackles as cuff links and for that matter anyone wearing technical gear in normal life, using it as a sort of badge of office to show off.

My personal pet hate is the carabina key ring - as though key rings aren't bad enough to begin with.

FatTed

Vman
Oh Shit just listening to Pink Floyd
"40 odd year old blokes who cannot get beyond Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin and the like".
at least I never liked Led Zepplin

metronome

The adverts at the side of BikeRadar that follow you down the screen.

Peddle Up!

The completely overblown coverage of the "Royal Baybee".

Well, someone had to say it.

GiantMike

^^^ Couldn't agree more. It's a baby. Same as any other baby. Won't hit the throne until 2070ish.