Seemingly trivial things that annoy you

cowsham

If I fart in a room with only me in it a beautiful woman will automatically walk into the room -- I never fart in lifts unless I'm in the mood for shamelessly attracting a beautiful woman to perve at. -- I know--- it's wrong on so many levels

shortfall

24 hour news, particularly now we've got 7 weeks of election bollox and analysis from experts who invariably get their predictions hopelessly wrong.

shortfall

Cowsham wrote:

If I fart in a room with only me in it a beautiful woman will automatically walk into the room -- I never fart in lifts unless I'm in the mood for shamelessly attracting a beautiful woman to perve at. -- I know--- it's wrong on so many levels

Holding farts in when in polite company and then being unable to let it all out when you eventually get to the bog.

bbrap

Shortfall wrote:

Cowsham wrote:

If I fart in a room with only me in it a beautiful woman will automatically walk into the room -- I never fart in lifts unless I'm in the mood for shamelessly attracting a beautiful woman to perve at. -- I know--- it's wrong on so many levels

Holding farts in when in polite company and then being unable to let it all out when you eventually get to the bog.

Holding it in is bad for you, just let rip. The look on others faces is priceless. If anyone complains just tell them you have some incurable disease and only have 2 weeks to live and the farting is a result of the terrible medicine you have to take. That will shut them up :P

cowsham

Getting into an empty lift the previous occupant has farted in. I invariably get to the next floor, the lift stops and two big honeys walk in. Should take the stairs more often but so nackered from riding to work.

dinyull

bbrap wrote:

Shortfall wrote:

Cowsham wrote:

If I fart in a room with only me in it a beautiful woman will automatically walk into the room -- I never fart in lifts unless I'm in the mood for shamelessly attracting a beautiful woman to perve at. -- I know--- it's wrong on so many levels

Holding farts in when in polite company and then being unable to let it all out when you eventually get to the bog.

Holding it in is bad for you, just let rip. The look on others faces is priceless. If anyone complains just tell them you have some incurable disease and only have 2 weeks to live and the farting is a result of the terrible medicine you have to take. That will shut them up :P

I've been out for dinner with someone like that.

Went out with Wife's workmate and her husband, he spent the evening letting rip and asking us if we could smell it. In his mid 30's btw, and it was a restaurant which was part of the company he worked for with waiters/management he knew.

I was inclined to think he was trying to be a c*nt, not wanting to be there and acting up so we wouldn't go out with them again. But his wife didn't say anything to him leading me to believe it was normal behaviour.

dinyull

Knock jaw whilst eating. Heavy breathing whilst eating. Talking with a mouthful.

Just a normal lunchtime in this place.

dinyull

Which brings me to: the need for someone to annoy me.

Someone left here last year who used to annoy the hell out of me - eating habbits, general c*nty behaviour - and although I felt a little bad I was pleased to see the back of him as I though it would leave me quite zen.

However, with him leaving it's just made me notice the behaviour of others, especially the one above. This is despite working with them for years without any problems.

Pross

Pretentious culinary terms and, in particular, the use of unnecessary words e.g. sea bass instead of bass (in the UK we don't get freshwater bass and the sea fish is known just as a bass), pan fried (to be all frying is done in a pan other than deep frying which would be called 'deep fried') and the worst of the lot 'oven roasted'.

veronese68

Dinyull wrote:

Which brings me to: the need for someone to annoy me.

Ha ha ha. Not just me that does that then. :oops:

Pross

Interviewers that ask a question then don't allow the interviewee to answer.

rjsterry

Pross wrote:

Interviewers that ask a question then don't allow the interviewee to answer.

Very much this, along with the attitude of "I've decided what the story is and the interview is an exercise in me getting you to say what I want to confirm my angle".

pinno

rjsterry wrote:

Pross wrote:

Interviewers that ask a question then don't allow the interviewee to answer.

Very much this, along with the attitude of "I've decided what the story is and the interview is an exercise in me getting you to say what I want to confirm my angle".

Yep and talking of which, did you see the interview with Nick Clegg on Newsnight? Exactly that ^.

pinno

Ruth Davidson.

Cannot answer a question with a straight answer.

vimfuego

Other drivers that don't have the common courtesy to flick you a little wave of thanks when you've gone out of your way to let them out / through a gap / through a road blocked on one side by parked cars. Seems to be on the rise too what with self-entitled millenials hitting the roads. I mean, common courtesy costs nothing....GAAAARRRRRRGH!!! :twisted: :evil:

Oh and another thing, if you spill some water/coffee in the kitchen at work (some of my colleagues seem to have the fine motor skills of an apoplectic Gorilla with roid rage when it comes to making tea or coffee) - CLEAN IT UP YOURSELF FFS, don't just leave the puddle on the side because "someone else'll do it". Fooking savages.


Right I'm off to my therapy appointment.

Pross

Pinno wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

Pross wrote:

Interviewers that ask a question then don't allow the interviewee to answer.

Very much this, along with the attitude of "I've decided what the story is and the interview is an exercise in me getting you to say what I want to confirm my angle".

Yep and talking of which, did you see the interview with Nick Clegg on Newsnight? Exactly that ^.

That's what I was watching when I added it to the list. All she wanted to do was get him, as he said, to pluck a meaningless number of seats from the air that he thought the Lib Dems to win. So much more she could have asked.

First.Aspect

British websites run by wannabe journalists without the ability to run a spell check in the correct language.

http://www.bikeradar.com/mtb/news/artic ... nds-49708/

I don't need my tyres to have tire compounds - cycling is hard enough as it is.

forehead

vimfuego wrote:

Other drivers that don't have the common courtesy to flick you a little wave of thanks when you've gone out of your way to let them out / through a gap / through a road blocked on one side by parked cars. Seems to be on the rise too what with self-entitled millenials hitting the roads. I mean, common courtesy costs nothing....GAAAARRRRRRGH!!! :twisted: :evil:

Oh and another thing, if you spill some water/coffee in the kitchen at work (some of my colleagues seem to have the fine motor skills of an apoplectic Gorilla with roid rage when it comes to making tea or coffee) - CLEAN IT UP YOURSELF FFS, don't just leave the puddle on the side because "someone else'll do it". Fooking savages.


Right I'm off to my therapy appointment.

You can get a cream for that.

pinno

Forehead wrote:

vimfuego wrote:

Other drivers that don't have the common courtesy to flick you a little wave of thanks when you've gone out of your way to let them out / through a gap / through a road blocked on one side by parked cars. Seems to be on the rise too what with self-entitled millenials hitting the roads. I mean, common courtesy costs nothing....GAAAARRRRRRGH!!! :twisted: :evil:

Oh and another thing, if you spill some water/coffee in the kitchen at work (some of my colleagues seem to have the fine motor skills of an apoplectic Gorilla with roid rage when it comes to making tea or coffee) - CLEAN IT UP YOURSELF FFS, don't just leave the puddle on the side because "someone else'll do it". Fooking savages.


Right I'm off to my therapy appointment.

You can get a cream for that.

Nah, I's just rubs beetroot on it.

Matthewfalle

Pinno wrote:

Forehead wrote:

vimfuego wrote:

Other drivers that don't have the common courtesy to flick you a little wave of thanks when you've gone out of your way to let them out / through a gap / through a road blocked on one side by parked cars. Seems to be on the rise too what with self-entitled millenials hitting the roads. I mean, common courtesy costs nothing....GAAAARRRRRRGH!!! :twisted: :evil:

Oh and another thing, if you spill some water/coffee in the kitchen at work (some of my colleagues seem to have the fine motor skills of an apoplectic Gorilla with roid rage when it comes to making tea or coffee) - CLEAN IT UP YOURSELF FFS, don't just leave the puddle on the side because "someone else'll do it". Fooking savages.


Right I'm off to my therapy appointment.

You can get a cream for that.

Nah, I's just rubs beetroot on it.

Wire brush and paraffin says the scab picker

haydenm

People in tiny cars who stop on narrow roads to let oncoming vehicles through when I know full well I could get my truck through there and be fine

cowsham

Little old men in cloth caps driving at 40mph on a main road in front of you but then when they get to 30mph area they just keep driving at 40mph and never get caught.

First.Aspect

Cowsham wrote:

Little old men in cloth caps driving at 40mph on a main road in front of you but then when they get to 30mph area they just keep driving at 40mph and never get caught.

... and go 40mph in 50 zones and major A-roads and who join motorways at 40mph.

FishFish

Ben6899 wrote:

People who take kids in the Quiet Coach on trains.

F*** off and get in the f***ing sea. You t***s.

But if the train is going through the Sahara desert then there would be no proximate sea.


....and yes there is - in Mali.

dinyull

I'm going to sound like a right old b*gger here but:

Ridiculous, stupid unnecessarily fast modern cars, usually driven by someone barely 20. Blasted away like the start of a btcc race at EVERY set of traffic lights with massive crackle's from the exhaust.

For eg, Audi RS3, 0-60 in just over 4 seconds. Supercar speed in a small family car, why the f*cking need?

haydenm

Dinyull wrote:

I'm going to sound like a right old b*gger here but:

Ridiculous, stupid unnecessarily fast modern cars, usually driven by someone barely 20. Blasted away like the start of a btcc race at EVERY set of traffic lights with massive crackle's from the exhaust.

For eg, Audi RS3, 0-60 in just over 4 seconds. Supercar speed in a small family car, why the f*cking need?

Because it's f*cking awesome mainly.

They annoy me if they are chavy however...

Tashman

HaydenM wrote:

Dinyull wrote:

I'm going to sound like a right old b*gger here but:

Ridiculous, stupid unnecessarily fast modern cars, usually driven by someone barely 20. Blasted away like the start of a btcc race at EVERY set of traffic lights with massive crackle's from the exhaust.

For eg, Audi RS3, 0-60 in just over 4 seconds. Supercar speed in a small family car, why the f*cking need?

Because it's f*cking awesome mainly.

They annoy me if they are chavy however...

Isn't this th e same reason that people have hi-spec bikes but aren't racing?

dinyull

Tashman wrote:

HaydenM wrote:

Dinyull wrote:

I'm going to sound like a right old b*gger here but:

Ridiculous, stupid unnecessarily fast modern cars, usually driven by someone barely 20. Blasted away like the start of a btcc race at EVERY set of traffic lights with massive crackle's from the exhaust.

For eg, Audi RS3, 0-60 in just over 4 seconds. Supercar speed in a small family car, why the f*cking need?

Because it's f*cking awesome mainly.

They annoy me if they are chavy however...

Isn't this th e same reason that people have hi-spec bikes but aren't racing?

Unless the bikes can make them go 100% faster, no.

haydenm

Yeah but it's fun

There are a surprising amount of Focus RS and things sitting outside very very cheap houses in ex-opencast mining areas I see fairly regularly. Naturally I turn up my nose and judge. While they are chavy I'm glad they have something to lighten up their presumably dismal life...

capt_slog

Strava segments that start at no visible landmark and finish the same way. They are there because the person who 'made' them just happened to draught a bus for 30 seconds one day, and this marks the fastest portion of that episode.