Lance / UCI / Pat n'Hein Limericks and Haiku
Comments
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The UCI's chief is called Pat:
He'd rather that no riders rat.
Hid his head in the sand,
Didn't want Armstrong banned.
Now just bog off, please go, take your hat.0 -
I basic’ly have no idea
To me bicycle racing’s not clear
Cos the top guys who run it
They all know who dunnit
But covered it up year on yearIs the gorilla tired yet?0 -
A couple of crappy haikus for you
I am Lance Armstrong
when I pissed in that bottle
where was no EPO - Assuming US pronunciation ;-)
Please, Please believe me
I did not take those steroids
my bottom was sore0 -
My name's Pat and my boss is called Hein
Who does fook all all day but drink wine
He makes sure my life's good
If I pull on his wood
Just like Lance used to pull on mine0 -
The sport's leader is Pat McQuaid,
Whom, I'm told, is quite handsomely paid.
But it's time that he went,
I don't care where he's sent,
Till he's gone, cycling's doomed I'm afraid.0 -
briantrumpet wrote:The UCI's chief is called Pat:
He'd rather that no riders rat.
Hid his head in the sand,
Didn't want Armstrong banned.
Now just bog off, please go, take your hat.
haha most excellent -
The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.0 -
The other old fart is called Hein,
Who off UCI cheques used to dine.
He preferred the omerta.
Now, can I be curter?
We all wish you'd p1ss off: resign.0 -
Briantrumpet, you are on a roll...0
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The cause of the hoo-ha is Lance,
Who led UCI for a dance.
He continues to lie,
And I think we know why,
For his fortune he'd rather not chance.0 -
A*briantrumpet wrote:The other old fart is called Hein,
Who off UCI cheques used to dine.
He preferred the omerta.
Now, can I be curter?
We all wish you'd p1ss off: resign.0 -
USADA tornado
Blows Aigle hubris into debris
Job soon going spare
Neither a limerick nor haiku
Apologies to Old King Cole... (actually, apologies to everyone)
Poor Old Chairman Fat Pat was a mardy old tw@t
And a mardy old tw@t was he,
For in front of the press, he made a terrible mess,
For all the World to see.
"Is he on the fiddle?",
Enquired someone from the middle,
"What's that dreadful pong?",
Asked another from the throng.
Clutching to his heart the report from USADA,
He vowed to fight on and promised to try harder.
"We've heard it all before!" came the cry from the floor,
And now Poor Old Chairman Fatty Patty was looking even more twatty,
Which wasn't what anyone was hoping for.0 -
bravo for the haiku - slightly chilling.
A once 7 time king of the road
Never short of best mates when he glowed
Gave Kimmage a Rough Ride
Never blinked when Floyd cried
Ended up nothing more than a Choad0 -
There was a young upstart called Lance
Who took one hell of a chance
He took us for mugs
For it was all done with drugs
And the UCI went along for the dance.“New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!0 -
I'm going to be terribly blunt
The man had a huge dose of front
We saw him in yellow
We thought he was mellow
Turns out he's a bit of a cun.........NO NO NO0 -
We bought the human fragility
That Lance turned around with humility
Now he won't belie
That pie in the sky
Will Pat show that bouncebackability?0 -
Pat needs a kick up the arse
Encourage the masses to grass
The sooner they're honest
, look a little less biased
there'll be belief in the sport that will last0 -
We now have two people called Hein
And Pat, who some call to resign,
But with both shown the door,
Then in comes Igor,
Do you really think things will be fine?
______________________________________
Armstrong, Hincapie, Zabriskie,
All took drugs, which was terribly risky,
Took pills that were red,
Then a blue one instead,
That mistake made them all rather frisky.
______________________________________
Alexander, Neil, Louis and Lance
Armstrongs of note at a glance
They flew to the moon
Made us laugh, sang a tune
But none won a bike race in France
______________________________________
(I have to say, I'm really f'ing pleased with that last one)Twitter: @RichN950 -
Haha love the last two.0
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RichN95 wrote:
Alexander, Neil, Louis and Lance
Armstrongs of note at a glance
They flew to the moon
Made us laugh, sang a tune
But none won a bike race in France
______________________________________
(I have to say, I'm really f'ing pleased with that last one)
So you fuKcing should be: didn't get the recognition it deserved.
All these people getting het up about details...
There's ART IN THE HOUSE, PEOPLE!!0 -
The UCI is like magic
positive test? Never fear
just chuck 'em one hundred thousand bucks
and watch it disappear
there once was a rider called Lance
who has flames licking up from his pants
"I was clean" he averred
but now might do bird
if USADA gets half a chance
Eyethangyew0 -
He convinced them his dope tests were fine
They both ate out on Lance Armstrong's dime
He said "believe the miracle"
But we were too cynical
So now Fat Pat and Hein should resign0 -
OCDuPalais wrote:RichN95 wrote:
Alexander, Neil, Louis and Lance
Armstrongs of note at a glance
They flew to the moon
Made us laugh, sang a tune
But none won a bike race in France
______________________________________
(I have to say, I'm really f'ing pleased with that last one)
So you fuKcing should be: didn't get the recognition it deserved.
All these people getting het up about details...
There's ART IN THE HOUSE, PEOPLE!!
Thank for bringing it to my attention. A work of staggering genius.0 -
Young Lance he beat the big C
and returned to racing with glee
he protests innocence of crimes
claims he was tested over 500 times
and nothing showed up in his pee0
