Bernie Eisel and his job

gsvbagpuss

This is not at all derogatory, I'm genuinely interested.

What does Bernie Eisel do? I know that he's Cavs wingman and therefore looks after him during the stage and then takes part in the lead out. Is he just a number 3/4 lead out man who's great friends with Cav so they stick together? Or is he particularly good at motivating Cav to get over the hills? Can he ride a particular tempo that suits Cav to follow? I don't see that he needs protecting up a hill- it's more for motivation I'm guessing

LangerDan

Bernie Eisel's Creed

This is my sprinter. There are many like him, but this one is mine.
My sprinter is my best friend. He is my life. I must master him as I must master my life.

My sprinter, without me, is useless. Without my sprinter, I am useless. I must launch my sprinter true. I must ride straighter than my enemy who is trying to knock me off Greipels wheel. I must switch him before he switches me. I will...

My sprinter and myself know that what counts in this race is not the psychologists we hire, the noise of our race radios, or the press releases we make. We know that it is the wins that count. We will win....

My sprinter is human, even as I, because he is my life. Thus, I will learn him as a brother. I will learn his weaknesses, his strength, his tweets, his talents of shouting "Stop cheering and push me, you bastards" in 14 different languages, his shampoo commercials, his astonishing ability to thread a bike through the smallest of gaps at 70 km/h, his equally astonishing ability to fall off in the most straightforward of circumstances I will keep my sprinter clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will... (hey - that wasn't in my contract!)
Before Brailsford, I swear this creed. My sprinter and myself are the defenders of my contract. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my mortgage.

So be it, until victory is Sky's (or whoever we are off to for 2013) and there is no enemy, but Sagan!

I was watching Full Metal Jacket last night...............

TMR

What the f*ck is a jelly doughnut doing in your foot locker Private LangerDan? You ride a bike like old people f*ck!

LangerDan

The Mad Rapper wrote:

What the f*ck is a jelly doughnut doing in your foot locker Private LangerDan? You ride a bike like old people f*ck!

7-6-2 millimeter. Full. Metal. Jacket,. Mad Rapper

nweststeyn

Bernie Eisels job is to just be incredibly handsome.

ddraver

Leuitenant LangerDan - you are are a hero!!!

greasedscotsman

Does that mean that Eisel sleeps with his sprinter? And calls it Charlene?

iainf72

I reckon Cavendish is the kinda guy who wouldn't have the common courtesy to give a reach around.

:P

rick_chasey

Team bicycle.

Everyone gets a ride.

RichN95.

Aside from Eisel saying "What is your major malfunction, Private Cav", he has two talents.

1. He is a great diplomat. Riders like and respect Bernie. He's a guy who can get favours and smooth over feuds.
2. Maths. At HTC, he was the person who controlled the chase on sprint stages. He worked out when they needed to catch the break and how fast they should be going. He's also they guy who organises the autobus and makes sure they get in on time.

greasedscotsman

RichN95 wrote:

2. Maths. At HTC, he was the person who controlled the chase on sprint stages. He worked out when they needed to catch the break and how fast they should be going. He's also they guy who organises the autobus and makes sure they get in on time.

He can't be that good at maths, how come he missed the time limit on two stages of the Tour last year? What do Sky do now, do they have Carol Vorderman in the team car to avoid such situations happening again?

But more seriously, I think you overstate his role at HTC. Surely the guys in the team car had as much, if not more control in how the team rode on flat stages as Eisel?