The Scottish thread (Too 'ticht' for cake)

pinno

How you doin' ya bunch o' chuktas, bampots, skulking loafers, dweebs and skanky scroungers ?!

Fancy a pint o' heavy ? (if you can find the bloody stuff now that pishwater lager import seems to have invaded the place from foreign shores and worse - England).

Can't let the Narden Ireland boys get one up on us, so this oor den of iniquity, sin and frugality. Wahey...

john_kline

Rid heided c#nt

Gazzetta67

Bawbag

pinno

John Kline wrote:

Rid heided c#nt

Oi me ol' mucker - This is a SCOTTISH thread. Get yer own "duckin' and divin', bit of this, bit of that' cockney one".

(I am a baldy c#nt by the way)

t.m.h.n.e.t

Och aye. Tis a fine wee thread laddie.

http://youtu.be/Tyx0K4WrElo http://youtu.be/CFYEASepPAc


ps: I technically own a piece of Scotland therefore I am a Laird

Cleat Eastwood

My butler says "Excuse me chaps, would you mind awfully keeping the noise down - one's trying to sleep"

Omar Little

awright cuntos

pinno

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

Och aye. Tis a fine wee thread laddie.

http://youtu.be/Tyx0K4WrElo http://youtu.be/CFYEASepPAc

ps: I technically own a piece of Scotland therefore I am a Laird

As the bearded bloke said in the vid (before you changed the link) "Huh !, The Irish"

pinno

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

My butler says "Excuse me chaps, would you mind awfully keeping the noise down - one's trying to sleep"

I hope yer Butler chappie has a good dentist.

t.m.h.n.e.t

pinarello001 wrote:

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

Och aye. Tis a fine wee thread laddie.

http://youtu.be/Tyx0K4WrElo http://youtu.be/CFYEASepPAc

ps: I technically own a piece of Scotland therefore I am a Laird

As the bearded bloke said in the vid (before you changed the link) "Huh !, The Irish"

I didn't change it, I added some Alestorm to it :roll:

Maybe one day I'll tell you the tale of how i acquired land in Scotland

Redhog14

Glad to get some decent patter on here at last, most eh these radges do ma nut in, bunch eh choobs! By the way, Bigman, an aw that, no. But.

pinno

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

pinarello001 wrote:

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

Och aye. Tis a fine wee thread laddie.

http://youtu.be/Tyx0K4WrElo http://youtu.be/CFYEASepPAc

ps: I technically own a piece of Scotland therefore I am a Laird

Maybe one day I'll tell you the tale of how i acquired land in Scotland

Aye - bring it on. Tell us how you fleeced some puir blue nosed citizen of his last and you ended up with a midge infested bog ! Then we'll claim oor land back in yer absence (absent landlords - who needs 'em: bunch o' bangers).

t.m.h.n.e.t

pinarello001 wrote:

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

pinarello001 wrote:

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

Och aye. Tis a fine wee thread laddie.

http://youtu.be/Tyx0K4WrElo http://youtu.be/CFYEASepPAc

ps: I technically own a piece of Scotland therefore I am a Laird

Maybe one day I'll tell you the tale of how i acquired land in Scotland

Aye - bring it on. Tell us how you fleeced some puir blue nosed citizen of his last and you ended up with a midge infested bog ! Then we'll claim oor land back in yer absence (absent landlords - who needs 'em: bunch o' bangers).

I had a pish in a hedge in Airdrie one night

pinno

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

pinarello001 wrote:

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

pinarello001 wrote:

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

Och aye. Tis a fine wee thread laddie.

http://youtu.be/Tyx0K4WrElo http://youtu.be/CFYEASepPAc

ps: I technically own a piece of Scotland therefore I am a Laird

Maybe one day I'll tell you the tale of how i acquired land in Scotland

Aye - bring it on. Tell us how you fleeced some puir blue nosed citizen of his last and you ended up with a midge infested bog ! Then we'll claim oor land back in yer absence (absent landlords - who needs 'em: bunch o' bangers).

I had a pish in a hedge in Airdrie one night

Should have pished on Wishaw - what a hole. Oh and Cumbernauld, Dumbarton, East Kilbride...

Frank the tank

Fair fill your honest sonsee face
Great chieftain o the pudding race

pinno

Commander Farquarson Chumley Smythe-Bottom (Sebastian) recently visited the tented infirmary in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. At the end of the visit he enquired about the tent at the bottom of the encampment. The sargeant said in no way should he visit the tent. But Smythe-Bottom did insist and he got his way. There was only 3 'inmates'. When he got to the first man he said 'And how are you doing sir?' to which the reply was 'Ye banks and braes of bonnie doon'. Crickey said Smythe and he wandered to the next bed and asked the same. The reply was 'Aye, all the best laid plans of mice and men'. My god ! said Smythe. He ventured to the next bed tentativeley. 'How are you fine sir?', the reply was similar - 'till al the rocks melt wi the sun'.
After the visit, Commander Farquarson Chumley Smythe-Bottom commented that he had never witnessed such bad cases of shell shock to which the Sargeant retorted 'Oh no sir, not shell shock: thats the serious Burns unit".

I'll get ma sporran and bid ye farewell.

-spider-

Fit like loons?

daviesee

-spider- wrote:

Fit like loons?

Foos yer doos?

bompington

daviesee wrote:

-spider- wrote:

Fit like loons?

Foos yer doos?

Doing very well, thankyou

mitchell_inman

-spider- wrote:

Fit like loons?

Brand new, pal!

Embra nightlife documentary - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-CN7TXN8yo

dw300

Currrrley Wurrrrley!

dmclite-3.0

Wired tae a mars bar ya bam.

Right, offski cos some of ya shitebags oan here gie me ra boak, know whit i mean, by the way, no ?

Big Mad Mental Davy Fae Dreghorn, make nae mistake or I'll put yer gas ata peep, hen.

pinno

Wham bar - guaranteed to remove the lining of your mouth before you finish one.
Then you can talk proper Fyfe - I mean proper ye olde Fyfe: "Mooth cut oot wi' a chisel when he was born" Fyfe speak.

thecrofter

Frank the tank wrote:

Fair fa' your honest sonsee face
Great chieftain o the pudding race

FTFY, Mick.

thecrofter

Did youse here about the Aberdeen lad who was in the shoe shop and couldnae work out which shoe was left and right, so he says to the assistant "Fit fit fits fit fit"

Dougall

Bolt ya rocket. Especially if yer fae Embra.
This thread is pure durrrty by ra wae

mitchell_inman

Apparently "blootered" - meaning pished - is a new word in the Collins Dictionary on-line.

I mainly remember it from trying to blooter the ba' when playing fitba'...

pinno

mitchell_inman wrote:

Apparently "blootered" - meaning pished - is a new word in the Collins Dictionary on-line.

I mainly remember it from trying to blooter the ba' when playing fitba'...

The Irish equivalent for blootered is 'Banjaxed', but thats because they are bit odd.

Local Vernacular (Galloway Irish) is a case in point:
'Ye'll be fair skunnert when I gie yoo a slap roon the lugs fer ye heecht o' cheek